As we all live in the real world this is inevitable. As your son is elder its good that you can engage him in various activities like sports or singing or anything that he is interested in. If he is going for school, try to find out any near by training centre for sports or other extra curricular activities... this way his development will also be good and he will spend less time at home. The problem is any child gets bored if they are confined to home. By doing this you can teach him new things and he can learn as well. Also your mom could be free for some more time...i hope you would come back in evening which will take care of the rest. CrÃ¨che is a good option but you have to find the best one. I always feel engaging them in some activity is far much better than crÃ¨che.
I know its difficult to manage kids alone, but relax things will fall in place. Suggestion by another mother :)
thanks for ur feed back
You are lucky that you were able to get back in career after such a long break. In which industry do you work?
You are an inspiration for me, as I quit my job in 2013..and I do not have any back up for my son who is 2 years old.
It would be almost 3 years break for me in Jan 2016. I can only join when my son joins pre School and a day care thereafter untill I am away.
The thought whether I would be entertained after such a long time haunts me everyday, on the other hand feel insecure to leave him in day care for 3-4 hours while I am away.
So, please do not quit your job,,,,try to engage him in other activity classes as Jagg says so that your mother would get some rest time, and your son can pick up some extra skills and also your job is safe.
4 years is an age when kids have more energy especially boys. Did he start going to school? I gave a break of 3years and joined work back. I put my son in 1/2day play school. Because my son was very very naughty, I inspected 5-6day cares, checking safety for my son. If he climbs and falls from any where he should not get hurt, no stairs, no balcony, well trained teacher, ayaas should be kids friendly near to home, drop and pick up etc. People laughed at me because I had so many conditions. But that's ok , for me what matters was safety of my son and the teacher's patience..so they won't grumble when he is naughty. I got one "tree house" madhapur-behind pizza hut. It's exactly what I searched for. My son enjoyed his half day.
Then next I told all my relatives and friends to search for a baby sitter. I got one. I hired 2 other sevants to do all the work.THE baby sitter just has to look after my son like a king :)
It worked. Even my mom or mother in law were taking care of my son, they're never burdened with work. They will just have to sit and enjoy with him. He comes so tired from play school that as soon as he comes he eats his lunch and sleeps till 4 or 5. Then aayaa will freshen him up give him snack and take him into the park to play. 7 or so he will be back and grandma is not tired but waiting to play with him and teach him something that I already guided her about.
Old People can't entertain a child for whole day. Slowly they will make you feel guilty and make you quit your job. Show them gratitude once in 3 months by taking them to shopping or giving them a chauffeur driven car to visit their friends when you have holiday. See that they will not miss any parties of their close relatives or friends. Or else you will loose their luxury.
This is how I managed. initIally i had to shell out 1/4th of my salary. But I am happy and so is my son.
Im happy to see after marriage and children ladies wants to get back to job like in West.
In the process of climbing the ladder of success we for get the feelings of the child whom we have bought to this world.In 90percent of families I have seen,girls mother or the mom in law gives a rosy picture that they would take care of the bundle of joy and the daughter in law can resume her work.But soon they realise that with the child's growth their age also is increasing and not decreasing,that's when the rift starts. Daughter in law/ daughter feels breaking of promise ( rosy picture promise),mother and mother in law tries to make us understand that this is your family ...conclusion we end up in finding a nanny,crÃ¨che,day care.
The only question in the little bundle of joys mind keeps coming is did I come to this family forcefully,is it my fault....
Always we should remember that the child is ours(with planning or the without planning ) our next biological generation nanny,crÃ¨che,day care nor our money will never will be able to buy
1.the child's happiness when being with his/ her mother
2.Nanny,crÃ¨che ,daycare will never can give a mothers love,care,our ideologies,our customs nor can teach what is good or bad.
3.we will be just called mothers,but we must not knowing the child's habits,nature,likes and dislikes etc we will be sowing a seed of distance relationship with our kid,when he grows that's will be shown in their behaviour,than it may be too late.Thats what the western people are realising and started following us.
Though our culture,rules and regulation,mom in law and mother are hindrance in our growth,that is the real golden rule....70 to 80 percent of children are facing some or the other problem in our society you must have read in news papers,if our children grow with out any problem,we have to be thankful to god,that will happen when we are with the child's growth.
Last but not the least one question if our parents did the same thing with us?.......The answer within us.
Being a adult and child counsellor with my experience I tried to give my feed back.God bless all take care.