i am in a big confusion , regarding my growing children and me continuing job or to quit. after reading the below issue please suggest me the decision.
actually i have been working continuously for the last 10 yrs and above. now i have a problem.... i have two daughters one is 17yrs and the other is 8 yrs old. My husband is busy always in his business activities. My 17yrs old daughter is staying in hostel for the last 4 yrs now, my next march 2015 she will be home and studying her BTech from home.Der is no one at home to take care of my kids wen dey are at home and wen they are on holidays...usually i lock and come to office. Mine is private job with decent salary , i get 25 - 30 k montly.My husband use to take care on of children in my absence earlier. these days he is busy and said i cant take care of children now you stay home or call the inlaws who are staying in hometown. Actually i am not very keen on my career i want to be both the ways to maintain my status and also my family + little income. I come home everyday , watch TV , browse FB, go out shopping and also have privacy and i am very possessive of my own things. i Iove my home my home theater and me being upper-hand at home. But now if i call my in-laws i have to call them for rest of my lifetime , i need to take care of my children ... and prepare food for everybody everyday my mother inlaw does some household work but she is not fast at kitchen activities and school hurry worries....if I call my inlaws i have to giveup my home theater and bye another small tv for my bedroom. We are dominated by them and cant go wen ever i want to out with my children for movies ... shopping etc. I have to just treat my home as a lodge , go to office my 10 am come home 7 pm ... cook eat and sleep. No privacy with my children neither with my husband .If i call my inlaws i will loose all my freedom at home and privacy... at the same time i also like to work for may be another few years but not more than that. The thing is if i am working i am facing problem during children school holiday i have to lock them, or make them stay at my sister inlaws place or neighbors house. i have been managing like this all the years. now both my daughters are growing. i am confused shall i call my inlaws and work for lifetime with no privacy and freedom at home or shall i stop working and take care of my kids at home ( i have a choice here completely ) buti have physiological feeling that if i dont work i dont have values in my circle as my husband is just graduate and i may be questioned on all my expenditure i do like hiring servant at home ... buying jewellary , shopping etc. i am the only person working women in my circle. i have good respect in my circle becoz i am educated and earning person. I am scared if i stay home for the sake of children i might loose my status , my respect as we are not much financially settled till now. Please suggest something as per situation what decision should i take . I am toooooooooooo confused. But presently i am happy with my two kids and with my small family. i am not confident if i loose this job i will again get the same salaried one and i am also not sure if i stay at home ..... i might not be able to stay for more than 3 months bcoz i am habituated to this current life style of mine. What to do now :( but my children want me rather than somebody else. They like my company. Because we enjoy together.
Can somebody help me to take proper decision please , wer everyone is happy.
Thanks for your time....
i think u should quit ur job n stay at home.. Anyways u worked for more than 10years.. ur kids will need u only this period once they grow up they have their own life n priorities ... Spend quality time with ur kids .. U can try any business sitting at home only .. Or join some hobby classes .. Only Earning money is not important in life ..
This is my opinion .. I m also civil engg by profession n worked for 4 years n now at home taking care of my lil one.. I don't want to send daycare n no one there to take care of her .. So I have no choice also..
Thank you mam,
Do you think staying at home i can still maintain my status in my circle and give respect to my self....wat u say. Calling inlaws and ruining my rest of my life would not be a rght idea ? please suggest. But i am a kind of person habituated little to spend on whatever i like to within my budget only and i dont like anyone asking me for my own lifestyle and me asking anyone for money. Wat shall i do .
I think you have completely analyzed the situation and well aware of the pros and cons. As per my suggestion, you should initially try out staying at home - may be a 2-3 months loss of pay leave option or so. In this period, look out for other work options available - like working from home jobs. These jobs may not pay as high as a regular job, but will be helpful. (Try sheroes). If you feel comfortable, you can go ahead. If not, think of an alternative.
Good thing is you know your situation very well, you are very clear about your nature and the way you want to live life.
Now if you call ANYBODY to support you, are you 100% sure that:
-- they will take care of things/kids the way you want
-- kids will respect them what elders need bcoz kids are not used to stay with them
-- till now ur inlaws are having their own lifestyle, so it will get disturbed, they will also face issues in adjusting with new env, new lifestyle
especially your kids will face issues in adjust with them, eh to take lders can not sit keeping their mouth shut whole day. there is big generation gap also.. they are not used to each other. More then you, elders and kids will face issue to adjust with each other
my suggestion would be:
-- you can make your 17yrs old responsible enough, she is mature enough to do her own stuff, to concentrate on studies and hostel guys are more independent
-- you can make your 8yrs to go to extra activity classes after school
-- and m sure you are spending good amount of time and take them into your confidence, so that before doing anything wrong they will will share with you their thoughts and then you can show them right path
It will take time, but surely it will work. Give some time to yourself and everything will be ok. I am also working women of 1yr old kid.
i think being independent is good thing and is very very important in todays life. Definitley ur kidz r growing and there must b someone to look after them. I think u shud explore the part time working opportunites available in market. By this u shall get time for ur family n work to. u can also opt for work from home options. But u shall be very careful in selecting such projects, as they are less rewarding.
The best thing wud be to get a maid who shall take care of ur kidz from 2pm to 6pm..i think it wont add much of cost also n u can work as u doing now.
can any one suggest of some home based jobs in Chennai as I have heard that all home based jobs are fake and they don't pay correctly??? can any one suggest of some way to work from home without investments. pls share some successful stories on home based jobs in Chennai.
Regarding Work from home, if any one is interested pls mail to the following mail id:- firstname.lastname@example.org