Have you asked him why he is not interested? He is old enough to be able to identify what his problems are. Has he always been disinterested or is this a new stage? Is there anything going on at school? IS it an attention need? There can be many reasons for this.
As soon as our 'Indian'boy completes 7th class changes start. If they
were studying excellently they might become mediocre or even fail and if
the boy was not studying well he might excel in studies. In very rare
cases we see child does not change at all.
Looking at your mail I
understand that your child needs more attention. But he should not know
that you are paying more attention and care. Now they feel they are 'GROWNN-UPS' and dont liked to be getting more attention. They like to be treated as ADULTS. You should give care and attention but, he should not know that you are doing it as planned. May be you should consider it as a 'operation my son' ....as a secret mission.
It can be a most challenging and anxiety -provoking time for a parent. No
matter how unreceptive or even downright hostile your teenager appears,
it is important to remember that they need you as much or more than they
ever did. It is just that it is harder for them to show they need you
or to accept your help or guidance!
Don't leave your laptops or phones unlocked. Always keep a password. Check the 'browsing history'. Put 'Parent control' 'ON' and give
fixed time for browsing and that has to be done only in PUBLIC places
that means on the dining table or living room, where all of you keep moving
Don't leave him alone as much as possible. Mother should
become as close as possible. Like, when he was 3,4 or 5 we used to put
him to sleep telling him stories...we should do same but this time
listen to his stories. Don't scold when he is hungry. Boys eat a lot
when in teens.
Keep talking to him may be he is scared of something
or he is doing something wrong or may be he is falling into infatuations
or he is watching some thing wrong...always be VERY VERY FRIENDLY. That
does not mean that you should not scold him to correct his mistakes but
always remember "HE IS A TEENAGER NOT YOU" so be patient.
As at all other times in your child's growing up it is very important to
model respectful language to your teenager. You need to be polite to
them if you want them to be polite to you.
Dont forget to kiss him good night :)
It sounds like you are very tense and worried about your son. These can be very important years in his life. Are you are worried about how this is going to affect your son's future?
I notice that you're saying he's not showing interest in his studies. Have you noticed a lack of interest in anything else? If it's a general lack of interest, then the problem could be quite different to only a lack of interest in studies. Try to find someone who has a good, honest, respectful relationship with your son and ask them to talk to him (in a very gentle way).
At this stage, I think the important thing is to focus on understanding your son. The lack of interest, like a fever, is only a symptom of some underlying problem. So you need to treat the issue, not the symptom. Hope this helps.
My son is 12 yrs 9 months old and is in class 7.
He has learning issues and is not able to focus on studies at all.
He can watch TV or play TV based games for hous together - even 6 to 10 hours but when it comes to study or anything to do with it - even talk about studying - he gets irritated and shouts and screams.
When he is away from TV for a while - and he often realizes that he should study but he is not able to.
When he does sit down to study (which is very rare) - he cannot focus - seems not to understand and then gets frustrated and says he cannot and will not.
Earlier he was an average student - now in class 7 he is not able to cope at all - his scores have now dropped to 20-25% from 50-60% last year.
We have all kinds of tests and diagnosis done - docs say he does not have ADHD or similar - he is very intelligent otherwise.
I am worried - what should we do?
6 to 10 hours of TV? How can you do this to your child?
Prolonged exposure to 'Rapid image changes' in the critical period of brain development precondition mind to expect high levels of stimulation hence INATTENTION on any other task. It is something like this --- This may then make the pace of real life less able to sustain our childrenâ€™s attention. The more hours a child views rapid-fire television, the more likely they will have attention challenges. They cannot retain their attention for a longer period on anything and also they will still keep thinking about the game challenge that he was playing just before he started his studies. How to get to the next level...etc. And he if you now reduce the number of hours of his games play or TV he will also start having grudge on you. Just shower more love on him. constantly keep a watch on him. But he should not feel that he is being watched always. Play tennis or chess or caroms or TT or walking with him. Slowly keep him busy so that he will not get sooo much of time to be free that he can watch TV or play computer games. Just do it from today. Take away the DIGI-card and put it among your credit cards in your purse. Even the elders at home should watch only after 10.
He does not need any doctor or tests...just his mom's constant attention...remember the days when he was just 1 year old...when you were very careful ...he might put something in his mouth...he might fall down from chair..bed...some sharp toy might harm him...so on. Yes, you again become parents of a 2 year old now.
I completely agree with you. My son used to play video games for 1.5 hr a day.we told him so many stories about playing video games.And it is true that teenagers need attention and observation.