Monday Blues....!

6 replies, Page 1

jayabs 2009-06-15 09:39:41

 

Hi All, I have a daughter who is 2.5 years old...both of us are working and hence we spend most of our time at office..though i go back home by 7 in the evening...

Weekends are pretty good and we spend our maximum possible time with her...and we prepare her from sunday nite saying that we got to get back to work on monday..

But, every monday morning...she keeps asking us where we are goin..again and again..and while we start to office in the car, she keeps her face very sad...and its really heart breaking to see her that way...my mother comes home to take care of her...

Mondays are the worst days...and she makes me feel very guilty ...though my husband says she will be alright soon, i feel am making a terrible mistake of not spending her childhood days with her fully...

Is there anyone else who undergoes the same thing ? any inputs on this !?

i really feel terrible................today being another MONDAY !


aanchal 2009-06-15 14:35:54

 

hi,

if u r going out for work, yr child WILL feel sad (it would be more worrying if she were not sad about being away from u, isnt't?) she will feel worst on monday mornings. she has a valid reason for feeling that way. try not to show yr guilt and anxiety about leaving her. children are very sensitive and can pick yr emotions in a snap. she will take this separation as a matter of fact, only if u do the same. once u start feeling guilty, she will feel worse (for making u feel miserable). its a very vicious cycle.

balancing kids and job is extremely difficult..at work u feel guilty for not being with yr child. at home u feel frustrated to see work suffering or to see yr education/time going waste.the solution for yr ambivalence is to choose one side of the coin.if u have decided to work full time, dont feel guilty . if u have decided to be with yr child in her developing years, dont feel frustrated about not working. easier said than done, i know. but thats how it is.

i am a mother of 1.9 years old boy..i used to work earlier. then i took a break of one year. i used that time to do higher studies from home (better than doing nothing!!). now i have started working part time from home. but my profession allows me to be lenient about my timings and workload. u may be in a completely different situation. if yr work doesnt allow such flexibility, take it as a matter of fact and go ahead.

talk to yr child about the situation. tell her how bad u feel to be away from her. tell her how much u miss her at office. call her from office to chat. that should reassure her. also, if she is going to playschool, make sure to call when u know she must have returned home. if she doesnt go yet, give her plenty of activities to do at home so that she is occupied in a constructive way.

prepare her for mondays by sunday evenings in an indirect way (like taking out yr work-clothes or arranging yr office-bag). at any cost, do not show yr guilt. but do tell her that u understand her emotions and that they are VALID. do not dismiss her feelings by saying things like "u r a big girl, dont cry", " i go everyday, then why do u get sad", "we had lots of fun this weekend, then u shouldnt feel bad today"..these comments will only make her feel that her emotions are not valid..she will feel terrible to feel rejected by u emotionally.

take care

 

jayabs 2009-06-15 14:55:09

 

hi aanchal

wow, that was a nice one...it has really made me lil ok :) thnx..

I do most of the things which you have suggested...yet that guilt is there..anyways will try not to show it out to her...like what u say, children pick up things easily..and can feel the same way...

anyways, will try to be cheerful and make her cheerful as well :)

she was goin to a playschool and was on vacation..now she wll start her pre-school soon..by middle of this week..so i guess this shud make her lil ok..

will try my best to balance both :) thnx again

-Jayabs

 

mango_mama 2009-06-15 15:56:27

 

Tell, her that her mother needs to do what she needs to do and that is the way it is. That very soon she will be be a big girl and will be busy with school and mom will be busy with "work" and then when ma gets home, u can have fun.

Also, please do not feel guilty. Does not help. Remember that a happy mom is a great mom. It always show up. :-)

Do not worry be happy!! It is okay...

 

 


jayabs 2009-06-15 17:06:59

 

yep...true...after certain point of time kids become busy and its good to have our own things to do :) ..to keep us occupied..

passing clouds ....:)..!

yeah thanks manga_mama !...i feel really good after pouring it down here !

 

 

mango_mama 2009-06-15 18:25:54

 

yeah. now monday is almost gone. yayyyyyy!

 

 Former member 2009-07-02 16:35:18

 

Hi, my son is 3 years old. I took break almost 3 years for him. Then i started working at his 1.5 years age.

Earlier i also had the same feeling, i used to feel guilty while going to office. But then my mom made me understand that this will make him more disturb and then either he will cry or will make you uncomfortable

I started talking with him on sunday night that tomorrow mom will go to office and he will also have to play and do this and that...the thigns which likes to do

He is going to school now, things are quite ok...:)

 

 

 

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