Role of Parents in their childrens success and well being

VB,

You bring up the topic at a very good stage in the life of your child. I think, your role as a parent starts from the very first day of your child's life and continues till you say 'goodbye' to the world...once you become a parent you never stop worrying (you are in it for good!).

The word 'quality' time is a misnomer. It is actually whatever time you spend around your child should be of 'quality'. Your child grows up watching you and learns from his environment.

The amount of time you can spend varies depending upon your availability: Siblings, working vs sahm, family bindings (ageing parents to take care of) etc.

For a SAHM like me: I could have gone a little overboard...but I have to do it to keep my restless one engagaed and to adequately compensate for the lack of family and support that we have here. 

I maintain a calendar of activities(visits) for my child for the month and rough one for the following month (sketched out based on events that are taking place in the 'kids world'). Basically it involves:

1. -story-time at the library and book store (they have craft time and nursery rhyme time too). the public libraries here have good story time & nursery rhyme time while the bookstore has great arts & crafts time. regardless I make sure he gets at least 2 formal story-times in a week.
2. - special events at the Children's museum (meet a real pig after 3 little pigs, penguin watch, thirsty thursday with water table play) including a children's band with dance !
3. - special summer events at the libraries - fire engine day, balloon lady, puppet shows, children's theater etc.
4. - Zoo trip (once in 2 months), Train Museum trip (once in 2 months), Animal farm trip (twice a month) and Science Museum trip (twice a month)
5. - Any other special event that is happening in the area where there will be lots of children around him.

Plus I have a 'pre-school' curriculum that I have set-up by the month to make sure he gets adequate exposure to learning so that he meets his milestones. This involves setting up the theme for the month and I throw in reading, arts, learning (projects), drawing/coloring and songs around the theme of the month. Plus the learning any average 20mth- 24 mth old would go through : Alphabets (4 for the month), Numbers (just 4), Colors (3 for the month) and Shapes (3 for the month). With their attention span at this stage all this gets covered in less than 2 hrs! (singing happens all day long)

On additional skills:  we work on concepts (up/down, over, under etc.), Manners (please, thank you), body parts, listening skills for better attention span, following directions, puzzles, sorting etc. My husband joins in when he returns from work for leisure time which includes a walk to go see the geese or play ball in the yard or see the moon/ stars (a very imp activity these days before he goes to sleep).

I guess as he grows older I will get more focussed and narrow it down to his studies and one or two extra curricular activities rather than giving him the all round exposure that I am giving just now just so that he gets a good foundation.

I do have a question for other moms....I have not started him on swim classes or any other 'baby gym' classes but am keeping the swim exposure entirely for the trips where we have access to the pool (which is less crowded) and I take him to the pool with me. Given that kids pick up a lot of infection (stomach, ear and flu) from the pool I have stayed away from it coz I prefer a happier sickness free environment to one where my child gets thrown into a flurry of activity (not too sure if I am doing the right thing).

I think at the early stages of the child's life , we should teach them more about the social and emotional skills like how to treat others, how to talk to peers and elders, sharing, empathy, generousity, kindness, understanding others feelings, love for animals etc.
We shd also teach them to treat everyone equal. To give respect to even the maid or gardener or driver or the security guard whatever their social status is. If they learn to accept and love people for what they are, that makes them a good humanbeing.  

my 4.5 yrs old son keeps saying that boys are stronger than girls and boys can do tough jobs. I keep giving examples by showing him a female cop, driver, pilot, construction workers etc. what i am trying to say is they shd understand that boys and girls are equal so that they will learn to respect women.

We shd also teach them to be independent. right from the age of 2 or 3, we can teach them abt self-help such as put on their clothes, brush their teeth, put their toys away, keep their room clean, and do their work independently. Slowly they can be given some daily chores so that they can share the work at home with other family members.

We shd encourage children to ask questions and shd never stop giving answers for them. if we don't know the answer, tell them the fact and try to find the answer and explain it later.

Another important thing is to teach them about our surroundings / environment -  how to save our planet. teach them about keeping our surroundings clean, saving water and electricity, reducing pollution.

I feel the rest of the education part like learning to write and read comes next.

Most important thing is We have to ensure that we are there anytime when they need us.

Wonderful discussion started by u VB. Great inputs by Roses and Roshmom.

Very good to know about your pre -planned activities Roses and the amount of time u spend with him.

Really appreciate you Roshmom for your views and letting your child know that girls and boys are equal.

We must  instill good values in our children right from childhood.

Cheers,
Mickey

 Hi all,

There is something called Constructivist Approach to a child's learning. It differs from the 'teaching' approach discussed in detail in one crucial aspect: unless the child is interested, you can do nothing to make him / her really learn anything. There will be pretenses of learning, but that will pass, and not register in memory. For a child, learning happens only sub-consciously, when there is an emotional connect, when the learning becomes a need for the child. (That is precisely why we remember instances when we had been hurt, pleased, touched by a gesture, humiliated, etc). No point in setting milestones, as if the child's mind is programmable!

Sadly, many countries have changed their educational systems to fit into a constructivist approach. But not India. Google and find out why Scandinavian countries top the chart in having the best educational system in the world - Finland in particular.

Check out wikipedia entries on Cognitive Development, Jean Piaget, Constructivism, etc. You will gain a lot. And perhaps there would be a paradigm shift in approach to a child's education - at home or at the school.

Hi RoshMom - you bring up a very valid aspect and with my tiny 20 mth old I am tempted to step back and let him learn to fight for himself on the playground rather than being the polite , couldn't care less toddler.

Srihamsa - Thanks for bringing up the 'constructive' approach dimension. Often i am torn between the structured (conventional) education system and the montessori (based on Jean Piaget's theory) and I think it has to be an even balance between teh two....Only time will tell which way I will swing (depending upon my child's development). 

This is just a copy/paste from another discussion and would just like to bring it up here...

Taking from Srihamsa's suggestion I would create the need (or rather interest) to learn those words which I am trying to get the child to learn.

For example: I've been trying to get my child to learn shapes and name them. Now why would  a child want to learn them? He'd rather learn - car, truck, mower and just repeat those over & over again (which my little one anyway does :-)!). I cut out different shapes from different colored papers and play tag the cat's tail with him using the shapes and he got them in one day (three names of shapes)!! Then one day I just took him to the central library and their carpet in the children's section has the shapes at even distance and he was so ecstatic that he knew what they were. He almost played hopscotch on it and tried to show off his knowledge to the lady who handles that section. For an 18 month old to know almost 9 shapes is a tremendous achievement. But you may look at it this way - he woudl've never shown interest to know them had I not created the need. To him car, truck ...anything on 4/6/8 wheels is of interest !

Similarly for colors - I had a paintbrushing event at my place with some older (3 year old) girls too in the group. Two such events and he knows his primary colors (including white, brown and black)...and he can say Blue (which is considered the toughest).

Trust me - he is not  a genious or in any way ahead of his peer group. A good number of them are better and he often forgets/ gets confused.