3 yrs 3 months old Daughter in LKG, Crying to go to school everyday. Worried so much.

22 replies, Page 1

josephkarthic 2014-06-23 09:04:12


Hi Everyone,
I accidentally found this forum and thought of asking my question, My Daughter was born in March 2011 and she is 3.3 yrs old now, She went to a preschool in chennai for about 3 months, Initially she struggled but later she was fine as the school hours was very less around 3 hours..
Then we transferred over to another place and there was a gap, So Ive joined her in LKG where the school hours is around 6 hrs (9.15am to 3.15pm), Its been two weeks now and She is crying everyday to go to school, shes very adament in school and every teacher say so, shes not eating, playing or sitting in class. Other kids have adopted soon but shes not..when she sees me at 3.15pm she cries again so painfully and it breaks my heart..
I feel im pushing her to school too early and im really worried about her..Is 3.3 yrs right age for LKG? Will she settle down soon? I'm not sure if the staff are strict towards her since shes adament..Bcoz shes scared like hell of going to school..Should I ask the school to put her in PreKG? Can someone please advice ? Thanks.

ParishnaMom 2014-06-23 16:17:27


6 hours in school for a kid is too much. Better to find a school that starts from 9.30 and ends at 12.30. Most of the schools for prekg, lkg and ukg adopt this timing only. She is not in 10th or 12th standard to stay in her school for longer hours.

Veenu7 2014-06-24 09:46:07


Yur child is too small for Lkg , the child should have completed 4yrs for Lkg .... Yur child should be admitted to pre kg , first of all  the school duration is too long n secondly why do u want to burden her with a higher syllabus she is still 3.3 yrs . My daughter is 3.7 yrs n I have put her for pre nursery which is nothing but prekg , her timings is 8.15 to 12.15 ...n it's the 3rd week now , but luckily the school had a system where they increased the time gradually , like first week it was for 2 hrs only n then 3 n now they have till 4 hrs ... So that helped them to adjust I guess ... Coz 6 hrs is too much for 3.3 yrs old child .
Even I would suggest u to opt for a diff school with diff timing ... , or try to put her for a play school near yur house for another year , number of children will be less n yur child can get better attention in geetin adjusted. Next year u can put her for Lkg , which will be the right age for her ...
In my daughters school , for pre nursery , they have given them a whole set of books , they have a lot of activity books n they give them home work as well , so considering that Lkg syllabus might be little more complex for them n  since yur child school timing is 6 hrs , I m assuming they have a much more detailed syllabus. 
Try talking to the parents of other kids in yur child's school n decide wats best for her ... 


josephkarthic 2014-06-24 13:14:40


Thanks for your reply Veenu7 and good to know that your kid is doing great..Actually I spoke to one of other kids parent and he said his daughter is same 3.3 yrs old and that kid is speaking well and shows no sign of trouble, shes careless in school and plays with all kids..but my daughter is scared to attach with other kids and teachers..

I guess its something I failed in raising my kid as a regular parent..I left my wife and kid to abroad when shes was 6 months old and she was alone with her mom and didnt have proper social interaction..So my daughter is scared of everything..I dont know how im gonna fix it..but ill try speaking with the principal to put her in pre kg as you suggested..so that she'll have only 3 hrs of school and less stress..

Its a CBSE school so the timings for LKG is 6 hrs, they say theyll put the kids to sleep after lunch, every kid sleeps while my daughter roams around the school asking for me..I dont know if even after completing pre kg she'll have trouble staying 6 hrs in LKG ..Will she adjust to that time after a year? I mean she would get used to the environment right?


josephkarthic 2014-06-24 13:21:37


Thanks ParishnaMom for your reply, yes the school timings is too much for KG's but unfortunately they said its the standard for them ..crappy standards..I cant change her to other school as I believe I wont get much refund..But Ill try to put her in pre KG and see if it helps her to get through...

ksb78 2014-06-24 16:44:42


yes please do put her in pre-kg...since its a new environment and longer hours at the young age she is finding it so difficult to adjust....maybe you can read stories at home showing how much fun she will have at the school...you get such story books at the stores or you can make up your own story....dont worry with lots of love and support from both of  you she'll be fine...

( as a side note, i feel 6 hours is too long even for 4 or 5 year olds...when my son went to lkg and ukg it was for 4 hours ...even my daughter's in lkg now...her timings are 9 am to 1 pm....that too they increased gradually for the first 1 week it was 1 hour and every week they have increased 1 hour so adjustment is easy).


amber01 2014-07-01 10:05:49


Hi Joseph! I agree with everyone - why not try Pre KG first where the timings are ly 3 hrs? Since changing the school isn't an option, speak with the admin ppl n put her in Pre KG. Don't worry if your child hasn't adapted well and someone else's kid is doing well. Mine used to throw tantrums for 3-4 moths when I put her in the nursery! I used to worry a lot and it broke my heart to to see my child cry so much. She started settling down after a while and liked her class. My daughter's teachers and parents of other children helped me tackle the problem - the teachers would give her a lot of attention and some of the parents would bring their kids along to our home & vice versa so that she got along well with them - this seemed to work after sometime. Once she is in Pre KG, help her in makng new friends and things would become easy or you.

tamildad 2014-08-14 17:47:17


My son does the same. He is about to turn 3 next month..and we are not talking about regular school.. he refuses to go to toddlers play group. He cries everyday when i drop him and leaps with bounds of joy when i pick him up in the noon. Its been the case for almost 4 months now. He refuses to play with other kids in the group - since the school has teacher student ratio of 4:1, they have the time and patience to deal with his tantrums and attend to him and calm him down. He is definitely getting better.. I and my wife were heartbroken to learn that he might be in borderline for mild autism/other development disorder as he lacks social and language skills. Its very traumatizing time in our lifes and i'm trying to cope up and get the strength to look for the next steps for him. 

SravanthiP 2016-07-21 10:57:57


Hi I am also in same situation, my daughter started going to nursery from 20days. She is literally crying in class and she starts crying at the woke up it self. Telling my I don't want to school. Teachers also telling she is crying alot but she will settle down . She was very active before starting school,now she is not willing to do any thing and not eating food, very moody.she is refusing to move closly with my husband because he is taking her school.I am hearing her crying because school is very near by my house. It's getting very painful for me and for her. Please can you share your thoughts and experiences of kids ,how you handled your kids.it would be grateful to me. Thanks

josephkarthic 2016-07-21 12:30:17


Dear SravanthiP

I can feel your pain as a parent..How old is she? If she's below 3 dont send her to any school, after 3 you can send her to any play school for 2 or 3 hrs..I learned it the hard way..my kid used to cry like yours and its heart breaking every day..i hated my life bcoz of that..but the only thing I did is show her more love..buy her things that she likes..take her outside to parks and mix with other kids like playing with them..its important that you dont scold her for anything..everyone in your home should love and appreciate her for all the things she does. Ask the school teacher to be kind with her and ask her to show special care & affection to her..if the teacher speaks roughly to the kid then she will never trust her..if the teacher is kind enough then the kid will show improvement..tell the teacher to make her speak with all kids..

if the school doesn't do that then change to a good school..after all its just kindergarten and its nothing serious..kids should feel at home in school..if not change it or keep her in home until next year..nothing wrong with it..dont listen to others abt academic delay or some bulls**t..my kid is doing her lkg in 4.5 yrs and shes very bright and good in studies..she grasps things easily..kids need to have mental development to understand things..so only at around 4 yrs or more we should put them in school..otherwise its a nightmare trust me...its unnecessary to put them in such situation and to bear that pain ourselves..your kid will eventually settle down soon..so dont worry..encourage her and talk about how good her school is and that you didnt get a chance to study in a school like that etc..and show her more love..thats all she need from you and her teacher..if the crying continues for more than 2 months or so its time to change school or stop it until next year..lkg only after 4 yrs.


josephkarthic 2016-07-21 12:37:05


Dear tamildad
Im sorry that I reply to your post after a very long time..its heartbreaking to hear such a condition affected your precious child..how is he doing now? I'll pray for your kid dude..Don't lose hope, things will get alright in time..


SravanthiP 2016-07-22 12:11:10


Thanks you Joseph for suggestions. She is 2 yrs 10 months now. Today discussed with school management, they will try to engage kid with play group kids for some days then will slowly omov her to classroom sessions. Let's wait for few more weeks . Thank u very much for your quick reply

sakevera 2016-12-08 12:46:45


Hi all,
I just joined my kid in playschool 1 month back, he is currently 2 yrs 8 months and put into playgroup. Like someone said here, he was very active and aware of alphabets, rhymes nd numbers even before joining play school, but after joining school, he literally cries all day while at school and becomes active only after he sees my wife or me when we go to pick him up from school in the noon. The moment his mom leaves him, he starts crying and he never stops until she goes back to pick him up.
It's a small school and there are only 8 kids studying right now, 2 teachers are tehre to take care, but still he is the only kid who is finding it hard to get adapted. The children who joined school post him and who are also aged lesser than him are now active, but my kid is still crying to go to school. 
Can someone tell me how to proceed with this? It makes both me nd my wife worried a lot. He is not even staying for 1 hour at school, we get call from school saying that because of continuous crying, he has vomitted. This has become a habit for him now. But as a test we made his mom sit in the class for 2 days and when she is there, he is active and tells all rhymes to his teachers. 
Any help/suggestions is much appreciated.


josephkarthic 2016-12-08 17:02:00


Hello sakevera
I can understand your situation..been there...what is the school timings? Dont put a < 3 yr old kid in any school for more than 3-4 hrs (including play school). I explained it in my posts above from my experience.. Its really hard for a 3 yr old kid to stay in school for more than 3-4 hrs a day..They will long for their parents and it will affect the child mentally.they should be happy and shd not worry at this age..its hard to put it in to words what the poor child feels..My daughter still tells me how she cried everyday when i put her in lkg at age 3.3 yrs..It hurts me a lot even now...

LKG shd be only after 4 yrs bcoz thats when the mental growth starts to understand things...dont listen to others saying 3 yrs is the right age for lkg..thats bullsh*t...Also dont compare to other kids with yours..every child is different..
You said your kid is active at home and learns everything...then why school at this age which actually worse things? just think what is right for ur kid and what makes him happy and dont go with the standards and others opinion...3 hrs top a day and bring him home...continue this every day and he will surely get used to it and he'll be happy.. 


ishupoorna 2017-09-17 14:48:20


3 yrs 3 months is soon for lkg 4 yrs 3 months is right age

19021988 2017-11-22 15:04:59



How is your daughter doing now? Any update?

josephkarthic 2017-11-22 16:13:29


Hi 19021988,

May I know to whom you are asking the question? 

19021988 2017-11-22 17:46:19


Actually my question was to you (original poster)

ishupoorna 2017-11-22 18:13:27


Lkg better age s 4 yrs after , they will b matured 


josephkarthic 2017-11-22 19:37:10


Thanks for asking, Actually she is doing great now,...

I saw your other post, I think 2.5 is too much for any school...shes still a baby.. The sudden change in your daughter is due to the stress in school, she yearns for home, shes afraid of something and shes not comfortable in what you're doing...she dont feel home...thats what my kid told me about her ordeal later on when i asked...Previously I put her in Lkg at age 3 which is totally wrong..so I again enrolled her in lkg at age 4 in another school who takes care of every child better than other schools...this is very important..

we may feel the urge to put them in school by comparing other's children but its complete stress for our kids in reality which we dont understand...not every kid is same..some adapt and some dont..so pls dont compare ur kid to others...when i put my kid in school at 3 i saw some kids like playing at home and some very sad..

From what ive seen the brain of children develops at age 4 or later to understand the stuff taught at school...She started grasping things easily at age 4 than in age 3 where she struggled a lot to remember anything....So my advice would be to keep her at home until 4 , maybe play school from age 3.5 to 4 for only 3-4 hrs per day so that they can acclimate to school environment , then lkg after age 4....Now my kid is a topper in school...the homework takes less than 15 mins...she does maths better than my nephew who started lkg at 3,.Im 100% sure its bcoz of putting her in lkg after 4..nothing wrong in that and its only good for them..

So pls dont stress yourself and your little kid like I did...I feel guilty even now to put my daughter through so much stress for that 1 year...just let her play and keep her at home until 3.5..she'll do better at the right time...

19021988 2017-11-28 17:36:10


Thanks for your reply! I wish I could take her out of school but me and my husband are working full time. She is a very clingy kid. So we thought school will make her independent. But now I cannot quit my job suddenly. I don't know if I am making a big mistake!

josephkarthic 2017-11-28 19:14:16


Feel Sorry for you as a parent..But if we dont have a choice then we cant do much about it..the child has to bear the stress but will get used to it if teachers are nice and friendly to her..talk to her teachers to get her comfortable in class as much as possible..

ishupoorna 2017-11-29 23:16:28


Playschool u can put let her play with toys dance play with kids in kidzee Eurokids they are doing good .. try 


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