Parents travelling on Official work

3 replies, Page 1

Niks 2009-02-25 23:18:40

 

I travel on official work for long durations and my kids miss me a lot. They then behave differently. How can we ease out the absence of the parent that the kids feel.


sathya 2009-02-26 13:58:59

 

I have not been gone from my children for very long duration (2 weeks is the most frequent separation, and once for 6 weeks when they went away on summer vacation). I however, have been a child who's father went away for long durations.

The important thing is for you to continue a conversation with your children even during your absence.

1. If you have access to the phone, regular calls are good but often children do not respond well over the phone. Writing to them is in my view, a better option.

2. If you have access to email, send your children an email every day. If your child is very young, have your wife read it out to them. If no email is available, use plain old-fashioned letters.

3. Ask your wife to take pictures of any of the art or craft that your children do, to describe any thing else they did in school, tell you about places they visited and to email them to you. You can then respond to these in your emails back. This will help you carry on a conversation.

4. If your children are young, try writing a small story to them or a poem.  If older, see if you can read up about something interesting every week and send a short summary of it to them etc.,

I am sure there are many other ideas.

Hope this helps,

Sathya

 

Niks 2009-02-27 02:02:33

 

Thanks Sathya,

I have been trying out calling them and talking to them. My son is 5 and half years old and my daughter is 1 yr 9 months. During the call they do respond. But then the response is temporary. They again start (mis) behaving, if I may say so. I understand that they display their displeasure on my absence by their behaviour. But I am still wondering if there is a better way to handle it.

Nikhilesh

 

annu 2009-02-27 15:37:46

 

Hi Nikhilesh,

First of all do not think of their behaviour as misbehaviour....because if you do you will tend to respond to it in a disciplinarian way. It is really that the child is missing you and therefore displays his/her displeasure in the only manner that the child knows....

Once they are older and no longer want you around , you will long for the time when they got upset because you weren't around....so count your blesings.

I haven't really understood what you mean by their behaviour....does it change towards their mother while you are away or does it change towards you when you get back. If it changes towards their mother, then it may well be an authority issue....it could also be that the activities you generally do when you are around get affected and the children have too much unspent energy, so you'll probably have to make other arrangements so that some of those activities can continue...

i'd be glad to share more of my views and experiences in this domain if you wish, lemme know..

Bottomline...be happy that your absence affects the kids, it implies your presence means so much to them :)

cheers

annu

 

 

 

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