Dealing with stubborn and sensitive kid

12 replies, Page 1

priyankarosy 2009-12-25 20:59:39



My 3&1/2 yr old son is extremely fidgity and sensitive. It seems impossible for me to make him do colouring. He knows many things verbally but doesn't want to sit and write or do anything sensible.

I feel completely lost. Please guide me.

becky 2010-01-05 12:06:32


The same problem even i am facing.  When i enquired they say that some children are very sensitive and playfyul.  They say that they will get better around the age of 5-6.  Let's see......The only problem with the parents is that we give too much attention and buys everything when they ask. 


imalempati 2010-02-12 17:31:00



my son belongs to same age group generally boys of tht age group doesnt like coloring better give him blocks ar other puzzles to play and if we compell them to sit and write they will loose the intrest  jus leave him few days frm coloring books and make him involve in som other things like play cards which sets alphabets and numbers i did it with my son now he is enjoying it



moksha 2010-02-16 17:02:28


Same problem here. the solution i got from others was he needed a sibbling


NJ 2010-02-16 17:22:28



Did you get this advice from the doctor or from your parents,grandparents. :-)


moksha 2010-02-17 12:37:48


Well from the Doc as well as parents....put it this way from everyone.

I actually see myself in my son. Very sensitive and remote but i had a brother...i am trying to recollect if it made a difference...hmmmm


NJ 2010-02-17 13:55:29


Ok, I asked this because usually parents and grandparents try to find reasons to give, for us to have more than 1 child. My mom started reminding me about having my second even when my son was only 12 months old by lecturing about all the disadvantages she thinks of my son growing up as a single child.

Anyway, if the doc especially if he or she is specialized in child psychology as well also gives this advice it may be true. In my opinion I do not feel that the sensitiveness is due to being a single child. However there are other advantages in having a sibling. Like learning to share, sense of responsibility(for older siblings) etc.


NJ 2010-02-17 13:57:20


Thinking about it, I myself was a very sensitive kid, used to burst into tears very easily and was very reserved. I had a younger brother who was a year younger to me, was thick skinned and very outgoing.


moksha 2010-02-17 16:05:39


Yes it looks like personility has nothing to do with siblings. For a working mom like its a big decison on either giving the best to  the only child or comprimising for both children...its really confusing. My heart says to go for another child but my head thinks otherwise.....


Bella 2010-02-17 16:57:19


you could try making greeting cards (by hand) for his friends and family members .. keep the message in the card short and make him write it ... the colorful card and the thought of giving a handmade gift to someone will motivate him.

it worked for my son.


MeeraG 2010-02-17 16:58:22


Hi all,

Wanted to add my two-bits to this discussion. Fristly please, please don't force your child to sit down and color / write abc just because all the schools / playschools are doing it. If he is doing it in school / playschool let it be. At home try and find out what interests him and expose him to stuff, but don't expect anything from him / her. Just let him be, give him free time/ Research says that formal education starts only at 6-7 years, so it's really cruel to expect a child to sit down and pay attention as in a classroom setting.  It's so sad that schools here start so early. But at home, just let them be. Follow them, don't ask them to follow you.

About the sibling bit. I too wanted to stop at 1 child and go on with my career for personal and monetary reasons. And then the second happened. And in retrospect it was a blessing. Right now i've quit my job, so i can spend time with the kids. I know that i can get back once both are in school / playschool for a few hours, but i'll take up only part-time stuff / freelance work. Yes, the monetary bit is an issue, but then Ive realised that when the money's needed god will somehow send it., because i've given it up for a good cause - being there for my kids. 

It's difficult, but fantastic to have two kids, specially in their interest. I've seen a huge difference in my elder one's tantrums (she doesn't have them any more) and each time the younger one is having his tantrum, she chips in to help him calm down. Yes, fights are there, but they love each other so much! It's wonderful to see that. And they'll keep each other entertained, so you can have some precious moments to yourself.

So for all of you out there thinking about a second one, i woudl advise you to go for it. Your job / money will not look after you when you grow old, your kids will. :-)

And Moksha, whenever you are in doubt and dilema, go with what the "heart" says because it is purer than the mind. The mind can be swayed left and then right, it has no morals really. But the heart is true. Always go with the heart.


sathya 2010-02-17 22:11:12



Some children find it very difficult to sit in one place and do things. I have a child who is like that too. I would not worry too much.

Try the multiple intelligence profiler. It can give you an idea of ways to help your child learn.




Ratnam 2010-02-19 00:21:33


Hi Friends 

I would like to add something more from my personnel experiance. At the same time last yr Iwas in the same position of ur 's. Even u can go thru my threads . Now my son is 4yrs n 2months . In Jr.KG (ICSE Stream). Till this oct '09 evaluation they had he was not ready to write n teacher told me she don't think he will be able to write curssive letters next academic yr . Also he is too small for Jr.Kg . But i said no he will do it.

I was 100% confident bcos he was able to give me shortcuts for each n every alphabets / ( both Capital n Small )  , Numbers verbally from his pre-school (whn he was 2yrs ) . Only problem was he was not ready to write n sit at one place. During Diwali Holidays we started doing activites for MOtor development like making numbers n alphabets with Clay  , preparing list for provisions , his schedules etc , lot of scribling, His own imagiunary scenaries , colouring with background etc ..

You won't blv aftr reopening 2nd week of Nov thy had evaluation , he got full marks as well as from repoening onwards his all work books are with stars . Apart from activies mentioned abv we tried Thumb Paiting finger painting , vegetable painting , cutiing n pasting .. ( these all ideas I got from our friends , books etc ) .

But still roamimg arround in th class is a problem , so i suggested her last week to gv him some responsibilities like distruibuting books to all n collecting them back . So that he can roam a bit as well as he will feel Iam doing something responsible so i hv to be a responsible student . Everything won't some in one day . We hv to gv them some time . 

Iam really greatful to Palls, UMAS World , Aanchal , satya n all other friends for  gvng some ides thru Parenttree. So far Iam very happy n enjoying activities with my son though I can spend hardly 2 lively hrs with him ( IAm a working parent n my working hrs are 11am -8pm . )










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