second child

2 replies, Page 1

sushmi 2010-01-25 20:02:53


when we are planing for a second child, How to mentally prepare our first child to accept the new baby happily ..please give your suggestions

aanchal 2010-01-27 12:47:59


dear sushmi,

preparing your first child for the sibling depends a lot on his/her age. assuming that your child is around 3-4 years old and can understand conversations fairly well here are few things you can do:

-ask him how would it be like to have another child in the house. kids usually feel in charge if adults ask them instead of telling them. it generally keeps the initial resistance and anger in control

- show him pics of new borns. if possible visit a friend or relative who has a newborn. educate him how fragile the newborns are and how much care they need. that will give him a good idea of your engagement with the coming child. also, show him his pics when he was a small baby.tell him what he and you used to do then.

- get a small baby-like doll and pretend-play. explain the routine things that the new baby demands from the mother. encourage him to 'take care' of the doll too. (be very careful of the extent to which you should pretend-play..quit before your child shows signs of frustration)

- to your child about every little thing that he feels and will feel about the new baby. sibling rivalry is a normal and natural phenomenon. ignoring it will only fuel it further. if your child displays violent thoughts, do not scold or give moral lectures on brotherly peace. he will feel that his feelings are being dismissed by you. tell him its ok to be angry, but its not ok to hit the baby.

dont go overboard in preparing your child. give him time and space to come up with his own methods too. lot of preparations and talks will make him angry.

also, prepare yourself for the regression of behavior that your child WILL display when the new child comes. he may start thumbsucking, bedwetting or demand to be fed by you. keep your cool and take these as his ways of getting your attention back. your calmness about the whole issue will keep him calm too.

all the best :)


sushmi 2010-01-28 10:43:03


Hello aanchal

Thanks  a lot.........All you said , is very very useful for me..My child is now 5 years old , I  slowly started to speak with her. At present she is also interested.. Hope it will continue..




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