Can Marriage councilor really save a marriage?

7 replies, Page 1

MauMom 2011-01-10 12:10:45

 

Hi,

I was wondering if Marriage councilors are really of any help. I mean after all he/she is a third person who knows nothing about you and you partner. How much can you explain to a third person the nitty-gritty of your married life? There are so many small things in day to day life that keep building up over a period of time. How would a councilor possibly be able to do justice to these in 2 hours of meeting?

Does anyone have a good experience of a councilor, first hand or some close friend? Does anyone know any good marriage councilor in / around Mulund?

Regards,

Sonali

 



sugarmommy 2011-01-10 13:08:59

 

There are lot of people i know who consulted and were able to save there marriage. depends on how much troubled is the relationship. Recent experience with me i talked over with someone who has not even met me(we communicated on email) and still it helped, sometimes you just need to talk it over. Communicate. It does not matter if you know that person or not. Talk about it to someone who  is experienced and professional.  it might help.

take care

 

 Former member 2011-01-10 13:40:28

 

NO & Only NO.

Its you and only you; who can save or break the marriage. If you have decided to break, no councellor can convince you to save, but only will be acting as catalyst with unwanted hedache and negative results.

Rather, take some time out, think yourself and consult to best of your friends and well wishers.

 

 

AMP 2011-01-10 15:46:54

 

 I agree with Sheetal. In our hearts we all know where and what is wrong. No one can put new ideas inside us, but someone can flash a light into those corners which either you couldn't see or did not want to see. 

I feel the best marriage counsellors are spouses themselves. We have to discuss what is hurting our marriage and how important it is to make it work. Every thing else is blah and blah.

A counsellor might make you look at different angles, and make you realise things which you knew anyways.

 


MauMom 2011-01-11 11:02:23

 

Thanks everyone for the responses. True, we just need to talk it out......

 

sugarmommy 2011-01-11 21:24:37

 

Hey MauMom thats right, if you have a problem talk about it to your friends and family. it will be even best if you speak to your husbnd about it, communicate dont keep it bottled up.


take care
best of luck

 

aanchal 2011-01-11 21:58:48

 

sheetal and AMP: you just did what a good counselor would do, i.e. provide support and encouragement to reach out to husband positively !

a counselor is not someone whose job is to either save or complicate a marriage. rather he/she should be able to help the person take a pause, introspect, think and take a decision. AMP is absolutely right that a spouse is the best marital counselor in any marriage. but unfortunately, this doesnt work in all marriages. sometimes, a spouse can get so thick, biased or tuned out, that it becomes difficult to reach him/her. under such circumstances a third party intervention often helps.

 

AMP 2011-01-12 13:15:36

 

 One of my friend was aghast at the way her marriage had deteriorated and when she confided in me, I asked her to talk it out with him. She had a problem doing that because they both were working and sometimes she wouldn't even have the mood to make up. Sometimes she would get jittery seeing his behaviour. So she devised a plan of her own. She wrote a nice letter to him expressing her feelings, stating how important the marriage was for her, how much she loved him and if they tried hard they could have a blissful life together. She did not complain or accuse in that letter. I am happy to say that it worked.They are again together body and soul.

The reason spouses find it difficult to talk it out is because they start accusing each other and end up ruining any reconciliation. We need not apologise for their mistakes but there is no wrong in apologising for ours. As a well meaning friend, I suggest you to take any help you get and from whoever you need.

This of course works only if both want it to work.

 

 

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