Problems with my inlaws..

9 replies, Page 1

sindhured 2018-05-01 12:26:35


I got married two years back.For the first 6 months me and my husband were very happy.. After that my husband used to discuss all our fights with their parents..from that time onwards they got to know the weakness of our fights.. They never say good words to our husband becoz they have lot of insecurity problem that my husband will change.. In the beginning I used to be very friendly with them but one day becoz as husband nd FIL always talks about my job that when she will join like that.. I got angry and asked them every time y u want job you never asks  r we fine whether we had food or not..? And we had some words like this., From that time onwards they kept grudge on me., Whenever my husbands fights with me  and calls them they never say that we should be happy.. They always change my husband mind complaining more on me.After few months inlaws visited our home and they stayed for 3 months .. Again some small small issues happen and every time my husband supports their parents and always scold me on front of them.. My inlaws used to a lot of acting with my husband as if they r not saying anything to me.. when my husband is not in home they used to curse me for small small things..After 3 months they went back to their home, aAfter 1 month I visited my mother hometown which was same my inlaws hometown.. when I went to my inlaws house for small thing they made a big issue and complained to my husband about me a lot.. I stayed there for 2 days.They scolded me a lot when I was returning from their home and husbands knows they scolded me a lot and they changed my husband mind in such a way that they don't have any mistake.. o didn't express anything to my husband..My husband never gives me a chance to explain the situation .. I am very scared to discuss with my husband.. so I am only adjusting myself.:After that I returned to my home and did not talk about inlaws topic and we were happily living.. My inlaws were expecting a call from us that we should fight each other but I am very calm with my husband and adjusting in so many things to avoid fights..So My inlaws r not getting chance to complain on me..After 2 months my brother in law got married and it is love marriage..After their marriage my co sister is staying with inlaws only.. so daily my inlaws were calling to my husband and telling,they r praising my co sister that she is a nice girl she respects a lot so nd so..blah blah.. Now  I am 4 months pregnant they r not even talking to me how is my health..I am not bothering that all but they r changing my husband mind in such a way that my wife is not only not maintaining Gud relations like that ,he is felling like that and suddenly he frustrates on me though I am pregnant.. My Brother in law marriage happen only 2 months back..should I be patience and calm for one year..? How to deal with my husband..? 

RishiHyd 2018-05-02 13:42:51


I can feel your pain, As you are pregnant now please be calm and patience orelse you will get more health issues. Everything will be set right after you conceive, Try to insist your husband to take you out, try to talk about your baby birth also discuss where you get your delivery.
The issues what you have said is very common and happened everywhere. Once upon a time no one used to  come out but now a days, it became more worse. Stay happy, be happy.

sindhured 2018-05-05 09:21:24


Hii Rishi, 

I am working and not dependent on them.. I am always calm whatever my husband says even though it is wrong... I am very patience now but if I think how many days I should be patience like this.. Daily my inlaws call to my husband and continuously 2,3 hours they will talk and they will praise my co-sister and their family indirectly saying about me nd my family bad... Listening all these words my husband mind also changes and he never shows effection on me even though I am pregnant.. How to deal this situation please help me guys..? I am suffering a lot..I can stay patience but will be there a good result for me... when my husband will get to know..? My husband is spoiling our life and making fights by listening their words.. we r not staying with inlaws even though fights becoz of them...How my husband will understand he is fighting for unnecessary things and not enjoying the present life moments.

Nav48 2018-05-08 09:56:48


Hi sindhu.. First of all accept my congratulations. Second things will set right once u deliver your baby.till that time be patient.since you are a working woman i think you know very well how to handle this issue.dont speak anything bad about you inlaws with your hubby.instead you praise your inlaws and see the changes.

RishiHyd 2018-05-08 13:58:20


I agree with @Nav48 words as well. As you are staying separate with your inlaws, they ball is in your court always. Dont think much and most of the women have negative thinking problem kindly avoid that, as i told you before just be calm and accept what your hubby says. You are you in a motherhood stage now. Let you complete your delivery, i will try to give better suggestions. Leave me a personal message, I will try to give you the best suggestions.

Sathya79 2018-06-04 09:39:49


Sindhu first u forget about ur in laws and it co sister fights everything just think of ur baby it is not yet born u have to keep urself happy and healthy for ur baby once u become mother automatically ur husband will know how important u and baby and he is take care of u and baby well be positive

sindhured 2018-06-05 05:56:20


Hii Sathya, 

i am trying to live calmly without any disturbances and depression but my inlaws are always making me depressed. I am very calm and not talking anything about my inlaws with my husband but still for every month fight will happen.. In daily calls, they will mould my husband mind saying something about me that she is not talking or else about my family and then they will change my husband mind...I stopped talking to my mother in law as I don't want to talk to her as she is creating disturbances between me nd my husband.. My husband now also he is not thinking about baby and he is fighting with me by listening his parents words.. I am loosing my hope will he really change after having a baby or he will be like that only.. every time he will fight for husband parents.. every time he will say my my family he never thinks I will come under his family..he always scolds about me with his brother, brother in law and his parents.. they all took this as lineance and they will play dual role characters, with my husband they will talk nice and with me they will not talk properly...we both live in US.. My inlaws stay in India still fights will come.. Their parents always think that his son will change and whether he will give money or not and they will create disburtances in between us..I don't know how to change my husband , I am scared to talk to my husband he is very short tempered...I lost all my hopes and decided if he is not going to change after having baby I will live my life alone with my baby...I am not dependent on husband always praise his brother wife by believing his parents words , he never thinks that he is blaming husband wife only.. His brother recently married just 3 months back.. within 3 months how they will decide she is Gud...for every girl mother in law is anti only.. for my co-sister also it will take some time.. guys plz suggest my to be calm and pleasant for my baby during my pregnancy..

Sathya79 2018-06-05 09:12:01


U be calm only at this time, because kid will really bring changes on ur husband, u keep urself calm and cool, and take care of ur health, if u worried or tensed that will affect ur baby so please dont do that keep urself calm dont think ur alone god is there, just pray

khnaveen 2018-06-05 14:41:22


hi..sindu.. try to be patient and don't discuss anything about ur in laws at this point of juncture.concentrate more on ur delivery and listen to good carnatic music which gives u peace of mind.iam a psychiatrist andvif u still feel insecure or tensed ping me..

param27 2020-07-03 09:27:44


Sindhu...hope everything settled down now


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