Friction in Relationships.. Analyze

 Former member 2018-01-28 14:48:09

 

Hi,

We all are here , going through similar phases in life/relationship.
I have had my share.. at age of 41, Learning to live  :)

As one tries to get out of unhappy, cracked relationship, many things comes to mind, relatives, friends, family members  give various ideas, some of then are like blackmail, some ways to compromise, some about status, society , culture..
Question is do they come before yourself, its your life.. you come first.
 
Other side of it, some see possible you as possible "Victim" or chance to "get you", as you are vulnerable, some feel sorry but cannot help due to limitations, some feel you may become liability, dependency.  some time situation can be compared like one drowning person trying to support other.

we all see mistakes on other side, but do we analyze, look at ourselves to see why such friction happening..  if we do look, will find that both are reason for this.

This is what I understood.. when I looked at myself.. and other side..
before we get into relationship.. both looks for partners with come checklist, basically we shortlist our partners ,  one will say yes , I need social station, need financially stable spouse, good family background, handsome/beautiful, these are basics, then come living style, hobbies, interests, food, etc etc..
and  we "dream" of perfect life like we see in movies, tele serials, or some one we know.. , and we dont reveal expectations .. thinking once married will adjust ! 
Likewise even parents and family members will have expectations, then comes competition..  Relationship sometimes becomes like "Corporate tie up" , when these expectations does not realize like bounced cheque, this leads to frustrations, disappointments, blaming, such situation created negativity blocking thinking and analyzing abilities.

What happened cannot be undone..   Just take some time.. be yourself, clear negativity , then think about yourself, blame yourself analyze what expectations you had, remove them,  then become independent , make suitable friends (but do not depend, expect from them), live like cat, over time dark could will go away, then think of restarting over again, but if you can live independent go for it. :), 
Dont bother about Culture / "What people will say" ,"What they will think", ideas from others (including this) , I am just writing whats in my mind, what I did or doing.

Just Analyze and take steps, life is not easy, but not so bad, Just take control of yourself.. stop trying to controls others.. 

I am done with my Bhashan / Lecture / Speech !!

Thank you..