We've been married for three years and I have a 9 month old son. My husband till now working in gulf and comes once in a year for vacation. Initial 6 month of marriage, all was well. I worked on shifts, stayed with his mother who is a single mother having a daughter (husband's sister - college goer). The past year, everything gone upside down. My husband avoided me completely and at times when I was pregnant he used to shout at me in loudspeaker before his mother and sister. They will speak with him in phone for hours and I will be cornered. Lots of complaints about me to and fro. I firmly believed that my husband is neutral. But at one point, after knowing that he wantedly not taken with him as his dependent just for my money (paying emi to the house which they are staying) I got angry and got out of the house. Now that he keeps saying to everyone that he resigned his job because of me. He is not giving back my jewels (once asked to sell and do part payment to finish off home loans) and demanding to give him the money he spent for our marriage! Also, requested them to vacate the house, as I need to rent it and do some savings. They are opposing strongly. He says his sister and mother are dependent on him and need money for sister's marriage. But he forgot that I and my son are even dependent on him and never supports financially and emotionally. Now again he go backs to abroad. I am staying with my parents. My property is with them although I pay loans. My jewels are with them. I am getting multiple advises. So much confused. I need an outside viewpoint. How long can I keep earning and pay off loans for the house which even I am not there. It's pure breach of trust, or call it. Betrayal. I don't know.. My future, a huge question mark.
Hi .. 1st your main problem in your husband is not understanding your situation ..
Plan A So plan a trip alone with him and explain your expectations. If it is not possible
Plan B : Stop to pay home loan emi (then they will come to speak with you about all (including u) future. if not paying emi for 3 months bank will send a notice to your Loan home address. (don't worry , they will pass strong action after 6 months only , They will recover house after 1 year if u not pay the emi) .
Plan c: Stop to contact him & his family , if any urgent you may speak through your parents .if he will try to speak to u , you may think to live with him . If not , then you will go separate , recover your home & Jewels through file a complaint and plan your future.
All others are have big problems compare with you.. So ..Don't worry .. i know advice is easy , But think solutions for all your problems. Don't create or make problems . ITs simple PLAN THE WORK , WORK THE PLAN
All the best
Stop getting confused pa, take advise from anyone but you should finally decide what to do,u come to a decision and convey to him strongly,in whose name the house is registered???,be bold, take advise from a good family counseling person, think about your son's future,, your husband is so mean and selfish, from ur narratives about ur husband he is unreliable
Talk with him and try to spend more time with him .. ul surely b able to figure out the root cause ..
I was similar situation, now I am free, happy alone :) ,
what I think from my experience.. Glass and relationship once broken, or with crack better to be discarded !
You are independent lady, make your living, dont waste you time, life for some one now worthy of, and about what they say.. does not matter, if you call Tree as Electric pole, it will not change, will remain tree..
just be little selfish till you come out of this situation, live for yourself, and your kid..
Hi Aruna hope everything setlled down now or still same