I m going to complete 2 years of my marriage. But I m not happy becz my husband n his family are too much selfish n self centerd. They live in dere own world dont think about the people. Dont have good relations with relatives. My husband is also alcoholic. I have 1 year child.i m so frustrated what can I do
Hi Hugs to you ! You should start thinking selfishly too :) Have your own circle of friends and have some avagation . It need not be full time job but start doing something . If your husband is against to it, you need to be strong enought to talk about it and why it is important for you . The minute you loose yourself and make your husband your world then the whole issues come up . Try to explain and say how do you feel if they dont respond ignore and build your own life .
Thanks a lot . actually I tried lots of things to overcome from dis situation friends family .but the situation comes dat shown me, he had d problem wid these also.n if I do things in my way or ignore him den he get more n more addicted to alcohol and then it bothers me about his health. His nature is like he doesn't care too much about the surrounding but he thinks he care a lot.
Ya I m ready to get separated. I m educated i can stand for myself n my baby.but my family(my mom dad) r nt ready to support my decision. Dey think dat all will be fine as time passes.bt I dnt thnk so becz nature will nt chng.i have to do compramises throught life for sake of my parents. after marriage I got all physical stablity means nt have to do household work at all mades are der bt mentally I m facing torcher
Hi.. Try to move another home near by with your husband.. Plan a trip alone with your husband and explain him to all your expectations. Because in your case' the main reason for all problem is your husband don't know about your expectations' , And now he know very well about your parents are supporting him.
If he is not ready to hear your expectations , Just move immediately another area or city for few months. Then only you get lot of time to think about your future . your child also needs a break from your husband's family .Sometimes it will give best results.
Just plan the work & work the plan
All the best , we all are expect your next post with full of Happy. Thank you
Before you make a decision to separate from your husband, it is very important that you establish yourself financially independent living in the same house. Then even your parents might support you putting aside their fears of your future. I understand their fear in a non-earning woman moving out of the house with a one year old baby.
Working in an office gives you much more than just money, it gives you friends, a space away from home, a diversion from the 24x7 troubles, satisfaction and self-pride. Seeing you work and being independent, your husband and in-laws might mend their ways as it is going to instill a fear in them that you might pick up the baby and move out any time.
Take parents or siblings or friends support in looking after the baby when you are at work. These days there are many good day care centers too. DON"T leave the child with ur husband or in-laws when you go to work, it will straight away put you at their mercy.
rk82, Culture is used as reason / excuse / blackmail , to keep one tied, where is culture ?
( @Amuu6 ! In such family situations, what made you have kids ! ?, may be due to parents force, or people said when kid is there , situation will be better ! ?? , in such case use own brains , )
below I am trying to express based on my experience
1. Give some time.. !?? How much time, when things are worst now. what makes it will be better later, its just one starts to "accept", and goes through it. what about kid, why kid has to suffer , and kid will be influenced and his/her character, thinking, living style will be influenced my surroundings.
2. Live own Separate: Before going this route, one should be prepared mentally, physically, and financially. Relatives, people around may be friendly, or friends in disguise, or ready to attack position ! If taking this step, prepare then start living own, then once with stable mind, plan own and kids future.
@Ammu6, Think about your future, peaceful life, and about your kid. .. if you have understanding friends, makes life easier. (Understanding does not mean friends who depend, or look for benefit),