Hi there. I was married 6 years ago and has 2 kids. Starting from scratch, I was happy only for first 3 months. Later hassles started between me and MIL. There was many many fights and separation between me and hubby. But we continued keeping our kids future in mind. But now a days I'm totally frustrated about my husband. He is totally a mummy's boy. He supports my kids financially and he thinks that is his duty. He never plays to kids but he watches serials along with his mom and goes to bed. He insults me in front of his relatives and friends and shows off that he is keeping me under his control. He never ever cares about my feelings. He uses me for his pleasure. He joins with his mom and always shows his face to me. I don't know what to do. He talks to me only when he wishes. He is practical and I am emotional. Somebody pls advice me how to behave to him. h
I appreciate your decision of bearing with all these for your kids' sake. A separation will definitely have a serious impact on your kids. Nevertheless they will be able to sense the environment in the house now also. I know it is difficult to put up with all these. But if you are able to continue till your kids grow to the age where they can understand your situation, it will be better. You are really strong enough to have carried out your life upto this and I would be happy if you stay strong as always. There is always an end to our sorrows.
Many thanks for your reply Jethra. I will be definitely strong for my kids.
Hi Kalpana13, its really difficult to plan and go accordingly, specially when you have kids. You are strong lady. May be you could talk to your MIL, maintain a balance between hubby and MIL. Make your hubby understand that you also deserve respect.
like many of your frds have rightly said that ur a brave lady who is keeping the marriage for the good future of your kids.Dont worry or get frustrated on the behaviour of ur husband or MIL,always be positive,like,when somebody is making faces or insults u in front of others that means they are afraid of ur calibre ,they that u may steal the show,or those people must be weak people who don't want to show their weakness in front of u so they r dominating u.Dont be emotional too u start ur side of practical thing in a smooth way,just like ur entering a needle in a banana.
If ur educated kindly start to earn from home when money starts flowing in people change,if ur already working than start doing for children,tell them what ur doing for them the plus and minus of it,bring them to ur confidence,spend time with them,seeing all these ur husband too will change,fear factor-human psychology .
Last not but the list,start a courtship as lover with ur husband,than see the change,as u know nobody will like dhal subzi daily their should be some spice in life.mommy boy will turn into Kalpana13's boy. Best of luck,great future is a ahead of u.
Being a child & adults advisor I'm giving u tips.
Hi friends. Thanks a lot for all your wonderful replies. I'm sure I'll follow them.
Hi friends. As I'm surely insulted whenever my husband speaks, I'm not talking to him at all. I look after my kids and since I'm a house wife, I am lil accompanied with house hold work. My husband is OK even if I don't talk with him. My MIL is very much happy if we are not talking. Now she is taking advantage of this and she acts as though she is the one who is best to take care of him. I feel always tensed and it seems as though my heart weighs so heavy.
Indeed a difficult situation. We all are talking situation but I think, Kalpana need solution.
In such situation, we seen solutions 3rd common friend to take initiative
or playing tricks to attract husband form his mommy erra..
many tricks.. but need to discuss back ground deeply first.
@kalpana its very hard to hear like this i dont knw why still all hubbys like that..be calm kalplana..u have to be libe for your childrens
@ kalpana Are you a working lady or housewife.
hey kalpana and satbabu,
dont worry these all things are temporary all these MIL are in-secured coz they have done something wrong in their life so now they are worried if this bounce back..... my situation is similar. i am working i told my MIL tht will keep maid for baby care and household things as after c-section delivery i bcame little weak and now this sales job. bt tht time infront of my hubby she said she will take care baby and everything after i resume office she showed her true colors. she keep on complaing abt my 6 month old baby tht she does potty 4 time a day and she dont allow her to go to kitchen etc etc and they she tried to to back bitching and as my hubby is very emotional wid mom he started taking her side. one day i told him tht i cant stay here anymore so let these ppl stay here(these ppl means MIL, FIL and BIL) will stay separate though this house is owned by my hubby i said i m ready to pay rent and all. my SIL who always put her nose in our matters didnt allow my hubby to do so.
but now i stay separate. i keep my baby at my mom's place. and earlier my hubby never use to meet us bt now he realize slowly.
so dnt wry ladies
everything will b alrite
also stop thinking abt them dnt give so much imp to them think abt ur hubby and kids. do some meditation and ha... work and earn money.
My name is Emmanuel and i used to be exactly like your husband , I never trusted my Wife and trusted my Mother , but sooner I figured out who was at fault and have made my Mother realise but she seldom regrets what she did and still is at bay with my Wife , I dont tolerate anything ill she talks about my Wife , Your situation is Pitiable , But being a Mother u need to put ur kids first and secondly there is only a certain Extent to which u can take this !!!! If its beyond toleration I suggest u look financially first , ur parents cannot support u and if ur kids are school going , Take up a Job and try to be Independent , Once u start doing that , Ur Inlaws will think that she is working and any Problems crop up , she wont hesitate to Leave , So start being financially Independent !!!! All the best !!!!
I think she is a home maker , If she's working , I bet atleast half her Problems will be Solved !!!!
I got one answer for u , it may or may not work , you have mentioned that he uses you for his Pleasure , Deny him when he wants Private time with you , tell him in a very Polished Manner that you are not Interested any more !!!! What is ur Qualification , try and get a Job , thats my personal Request , U earn and then he will have to respect you , He cant continue being like this all his Life !!!!
Secure your finances first and then give him the treatment he's giving you !!!!
What do u mean when u say he's Practical , being a Mummy's boy is fine till u are Single , being a Mummy's boy after Marraige is bull shit !!!! why the heck u wanna marry and heap Misery on a Woman when u wanna be a Damn Mummy's boy !!!! I know he's ur husband but ur Situation irks me to a great Extent !!!! Sorry if my words cause u any grief !!!!! but this is not the Sign of a mature or practical person , Sorry to be curt but ur husband isnt practical , hes being stupid and ignorant to ur feelings !!!!!