Getting frustrating day by day

9 replies, Page 1

itssutapa 2014-12-09 17:30:44


They all say, to keep others happy you yourself needs to happy first. but I dont know where my life is heading, i am totally clueless, blank. 
I am married for 5 yrs now with a 3 yr old son. Ours was an arranged marriage. Since the beginning, it seems I have been only one compromising on everything. It sounds so strange, in these 5 yrs he has never initiated a vacation, shopping plans, even eating out plans. I always had to do so. We have not gone for a single holiday in these 5 yrs - not even honeymoon. Like most of the girls I also had some dreams or wishes how it should be, but all went into the drains. Day by day he is becoming more indifferent. He will come from office, open his laptop & do whatever he enjoys -- share market research. He wont even bother to know if i am well, how are things going at my end. I am also working. I will have to get up at 5, to cook my son's meals, get everything ready & leave for office by 7.30. Then in the evening again come back, pick my son from day-care, arrange for dinner, feed him & put him to sleep. In all these, he hardly comes & offers for any help. Not even come & talk. I do not remember if we had any beautiful conversation between us other than household talks -- that too very very rare these days. But whenever, any of his relatives  comes to visit us -- he is a different person, so jovial, spending time with them, doing erything foor them. But when we are alone, it looks like for him I do not exist. The only person with whom I talk at home is the maid & my son. I also want to have a heart-to-heart chat with some1. being cared. Why is it always I am taken for granted? 
I thought marriage is all about sharing, caring, love, compassion. But each of these components are missing in our relationship. I do everything possible for me to do at home, still if I miss out on any single thing - I get to hear " you dont know anything", "You cant do anything".
I have no problem, i doing all the tasks alone - all i need is some caring, atleast some1 to talk to. Is it too much to ask for? I am not asking for any monetary stuff... just some time of his - which unfortunately is too much as per him. 

Kishoreto 2014-12-11 14:18:44


hi, i dont know ur name. plz dont frustrate please.everything will be in line.but need some always testing us.please i am requesting you.if dont mind, if u like i will chat with for some time to comeout from this.ok. i am sure that i will be gud friend to you.
have a nice today and  tommorrow.
dont mind please


Jesh 2015-04-23 06:55:59


Why dont you try to speak to him regarding this? make him understand. if not go for a counselling where surely you will get a sort of relief.. try this.. if possible take him as well.. tell him tht u need counselling and take u to Psychatrist. 

2459 2015-04-23 10:45:07


Hi  itssutapa,
I understand the feelings you have, even i too have the same problem.
Think once, if you are working and have son give more concentration on these.
We cannot change some people like these.
Ask your kid interact with your hubby, Like saying rhymes, dancing, singing etc.. 
Slowly he will come back to you.


 Former member 2015-12-04 14:20:39



I would like to say ... as my personal opinion based one  experience..

things mess up cause of dreams..  we have  lot of expectations from spouse..
one tries to make other talk in their language or in their ways instead of trying learn each others way of communication and living habits.
some parts male dominate.. husband dictates how family should live.. some house wife does
 that (excluding joint families, they have issues too). 

in our country  its taught that "Husband" will take care of finances, support and "Wife" will cook, raise children, should obey to husband etc etc..  this segregates responsibilities..

My way of thinking:

Both Husband and wise should give space for each others hobby, habits, friends, family.. (if they not able to participate).

I have seen most of the time "Wife" gives away time to husband, cancel meeting with friends, family, cousins.. its better both inform each other of their intended schedule and plans.

and when it comes to finances, if both are earning.. both should share and spend  also saving little money for themselves (as individual, cause from childhood we do things for parents, and then for spouse, then for kids, .. when we do things for  ourselves.. ?

but one alone cannot do this.. both need to be more like friends.. than being like bosses..


param27 2016-01-03 13:32:20


hi itssutapa

how life now and hope everythig going fine

Nikita0108 2016-02-09 23:23:02


My sincere suggestion, develop a passion towards something in life. Read books, go for aerobics, join yoga or learn driving. Start having some passion in life which would make you feel good when you think of it. more than anything it gives you confidence.
Its tough to not to think why you are not getting attention from your husband. I would suggest get so engrossed and your activities (apart from taking care of your kid) that nothing else should matter. 
I am sure you will find your right path soon. Read +ve quotes. Take Care. 


Parent69 2016-02-10 12:44:19


I agree with you. Even raising pets gives us peace of mind and compassion.


Nikita0108 2016-02-10 22:43:27


Yes it does. 

mahya 2016-03-19 23:32:12


hi ...i hope things between u and ur husband improving....u reaally should have passion or hobby such as paining...reading...something which will keep ur mind busy and make u happy....dont just give up yar......i know it is going difficult for u.....why u dont have some talk with ur husband.....disscuss all the things...why he is behaving like this..where u are going wrong and where he is going wrong....have the disscussions about all the thing.s...something wil come out from the disscussion.....


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