My husband always compares me with his sister.
this is really not tolerable.
Wife(Daughter in law) role is to adjust with Sister in laws it seems, then why we are being educated there.
i.e whatever my sister in law scolds me/ throws bad words to me i need to adjust and go.
whereas i am not supposed to comment a word also.
I am not enjoying my married life.
I am not peaceful.
but i have a kid i don't know how do i manage.
i am worried about my son future.
Everyday getting words from others is like a hell.
Even if i am quite people and my hubby comments/scolds me badly.
Don't know what to do. please suggest.
Hey chill gal
Try reasoning with ur hubby...tht evryone has individuality...and nt to compare...
If he s nt understanding...thn dnt try to fight ..,as sme people learn hard way...concentrate on ur child..keep urself bsy.., if ur wrkng its gud.,or try fr flexi job...smething to keep u bsy...
Ignore such people...bt if it gets too much ..take help frm anyone frm ur fmly whom u trust and try to get it sorted... .,dnt loose hope...n have faith in god.,,time does nt remain same..it does chnge..,til thn try to b happy ..its all within us ..,hw much we wznt others to hurt us.... follow dnt care attitude..,i mean act deaf n dumb wen they hurt u...trust me it irritates them...n its gud fr u too......all d best ...
well from the male side, they are like coconuts, including me ....
harder outside , softer inside , for some it takes longer time to understand , others makeup fast.
i want u to try (hope u must have) , but once again, try you both - if
possible take him out for atlest 5 hrs - only u both, ccd place or where
u can freely patiently talk.
and when u start speak less and let him vomit all inside him, then explain him in short and sweet examples.
but speak less , hear more .....
keep this consistent for few months , see the difference then . and if it continues lets see.....
Thanks for your reply to all you.
Let me try this and see, hope it works good.
Hey... i seen some good comments on top... there is some simple way to make your huby understand your situation, speak with him to understand his problems and what he needs from you.
dont talk in middle even he sounds stupid.. listen to him and open up to him... ok even i have some concern from my end. be slow in explanation and give him time..
create a daily time between you people will help..
Is Sis In Law your husband's younger Sis or elder? Is she unmarried? or something else?
Shes married and having 2 kids,
i have 2 SIL , one is elder and other one is younger.
Elder is ok, gud . but younger ones try to attract my hubby.
she always says that, my hubby is mama to their kids, always need s to take care of them.
every month, she expects my hubby to buy to buy something. or else she will insist her kid to ask my hubby and buy things from him.
@All- i might be silly, by all times these wont work.
even i have uncles they all helped me during my childhood, but i never acted like this.
my husband wants to take care of me and as well as his sisters it seems.
else he is not willing to take care to any of us.
i dont know what logic.
i want to live my hubby and come out.
i can manage my kid.
but he is not leaving me.
be cool and think with peace of mind.
almost 99.99% of women facing these problems when their husband have sisters.
but everything will depend on you and ur hubby only to face these issues.for this no solutions.just think positively and try to solve this personally.
for example i am facing same prob between my wife & sister (diversed n staying with us about 5 months in a year).
but i am mediating them without any problems.
so please friend be cool and try to convience ur hubby
hey dont worry, talk with ur friends and try to avoid to think all these. then you will get peace of mind.k
try to get gud friend to share your feelings to get out of tensions......kkkkk
bee coolt everything will depend on you and ur hubby only to face these issues.for this no solutions.just think positively and try to solve this personally and divert your mind by chating and moving out with your friends ..and also reply what ever they ask...speak limited ly...it will solve your problem.:)
dnt wry these type of ladies doesnt have any respect in their sasural so they are searching respect here. and they have zero knowledge of any damn thing bt they have technique to find out from someone and they share with someone. mine is same case. my hubby doesnt give me her ex. bt my MIL do. u dnt believe she decides everything in our home right from which curtains to put and which vegetables to bring. she come to our house everyday bt i m nt suppose to meet my parents.
dnt worry these things happend try to act tactfully dnt even react to her non sens. and abt giving gifts to her kids. just care a damn abt it one day ur hubby will realize tht he is wasting his money. u just take care abt ur son. dnt even talk to her.
go to temple go for meditation.
i just now gone through the content which you posted above, its happening most of the houses. Leaving family is not the correct decision, it will spoil childrens future. Better u make any arrangements go outing with your hubby for 2 or 3 days, try to explain the mistakes. Even after he does the same thing , you have to change yourself, u make u busy by going some classes like Yoga, Home Made decoratives items, toy makings, it will reduce your stress. U least bother about ur hubby words, dont shout at him when he is in anger, be calm and signoff the places, he will realize one day.
Hello female friends..
It's common problem now a days mostly with the couples where both are working!!!
One should keep cool when the other one is angry!! Make him realise what he said in angry seeing the situation (when is cool and happy)!!!
Make him realize that, if you compare any male with him what will be the situation!!
If he is beyond control and cant understand, better to be busy urself, focus on kids, share good things of kids with him, ignore the un necessary things, be silent to the comments for which u don't like. I believe , Silence is the best solution for any quarrel.
Make good friends who can give a good moral support!!! NEVER share all ur problems with ur relatives. It will be worser than what u r going through!!
Hope it helps!!!! Good luck...take care!!
You have understand one things here from your husband family point of view. his sister wants her brother to close with her kids, what wrong did you see here?
do you bother that your hubby is spending money for it? why don't you think that her brother is spending for it.
i think you're complicating things here. just ignore those things, your father spends for you right, every time he meets you, he might give u something right.. think in the same way that he is spending for his sister and he knew what he is doing. if he dont like to do it. let me convey this info to her sister and let him handle this situation. i dnt understand why you have to worry on this..
think twice.. i have a point here..
Similar to my wife compare to other person becouse am a poor family...so it's common problem for every one...
don't worry if u feel share with ur friend
Did You say " harder outside , softer inside , for some it takes longer time to understand , others makeup fast."
don you realize to access softer side coconut need to be broken !!! this where things go wrong..
people need to be open and frank when expressing.. we live for ourselves and family, not others.. !
Best example animals, they express freely, so they connect well !
HI all and 2459
how going ur life