Help to take decision

6 replies, Page 1

chaitali5 2014-01-17 13:04:33

 

hi,

 i m MBA holdar, working as asst mgr-sales, married since 7yrs, blessed with wonderful 5 yr.old son... i m missing his company.he goes to day care..from last few months i m dragging myself everyday to office thinking i m adding much needed finance for our so called bright future n rush like anything to home in eve.Same time I am feeling guilty entire day.THIS IS MY DAILY ROUTINE...Feel guilty everyday
That guiltyness increased so much that now i decided to leave my job & be with my son full day against my family,in laws,husband...
Including my boss everybody thinks i m becoming over possessive abt him, it will affect very badly on our family income
 I know financially will have to manage, i might get bore at home & so many advices came from around.
Don't u all think my son will be my topmost priority??? doesn't he need me in this age??
I hv confidence that i will definately earn money by sitting at home...offcourse not immediately..may it will take some yrs...

I need your advice on this...


cmala 2014-01-19 10:50:15

 

Hai Chaitali5

I understand ur feeling for ur son.  If you had taken this decision when ur kid was below 4yrs, then it is worth doing. Becoz  quantity of time matters for parents to stay with their kid below 4 . They will be at home most of the time, the school timing will be hardly 3/4 hrs per day. If the kid is only one year, you can enjoying watching his crawling, prawling, enjoy feeding, breast feeding to the maximum, walking, talking blah blah blah, two to four year- enjoy the way he tries to communicate to you , how he plays , his naughtiness, speech, etc. Kid will not do all these things as soon as you come back from office. Time diffenitely matters for parent of kids below 4. (Don't know u enjoyed or missed all these things??????????)

Now ur kid is already 5. I believe from now on he wil spend 6 hrs in school(8/9-2/3). After coming back from school, rest for atleast 2 hrs (4-5), evening play with friends,(6) then do daily homework and read(7) and then sleep(9/10). From now on any kids shcedule for the day will be like this till they finish their college. At this stage what is the point in taking break. Your son spend hardly two hours with you in a day. Now the quality of time matters. Even if it is one hour, it is fine.

In my opinion, try getting into 6 or 7 hrs jobs rather than quitting. You will not get bored as well as can take good care of your son. Take your time, think again and decide. All the very best.
 

chaitali5 2014-01-20 11:26:44

 

thx for ur reply cmala..
it's gr8 u acknowledged me.....
Just some clarification...i was at home only till his 1st yr. den my MIL came to take of him as i opted for job..that time i had to joined back as w booked new flat as well as car..now things r stable..n also my MIL went back to hometown 8 mnths before, so i approached day care.but i m nt comfortable to keep him der anymore.. i m planning to do something work from home or will try my hand in some low investment business or try to run some franchises etc...

I know i missed some precious yrs..but u know in dat  situation  i had to step out ..i hope u understood..

Second reason is i want him to explore with some extra curricular ..as i want him to do his career in sports..dont u think dis is right time to explore him into???
 

Rubu 2014-01-21 11:08:52

 

Dear

Keep your chin up high in optimism lady. You can do everything. I am Cmla words of wisdom.

I am personally a working mother of 3 small children. And I am not going to take any break till next 10 years more or so. I need the finances and I enjoy the independence. My kids were 4, 3 and 18 months respectively when I started working. Now the lil one is 4 years old.

And time flew so fast. I focus only on quality time. My kid goes to a full day school , takes a nap and goes to play and by evening I am there to spend quality time. And what more if you are in IT you would get sat and Sunday off.. Thats a whole lot of time....

Many people can get trapped into believing that staying at home they can do more.. Quite the contrary unless you are soo dedicated house wife material, you would fail. Cause with all respect to women who take care of family and stay at home, they work 10 times more hard all day with no break. I had personally taken a long break after marriage and that's when I realized how hard it is.

You would get no break...... And quantity of time might increase, quality I still doubt. It might deteriorate as you might not be able to spend in the same way.

Do not quit your job. If there is some other frustrations, deal with that. Like not enjoying that job, change it...

Rubu
 


chaitali5 2014-01-21 15:35:26

 

hi ruby,
tnx for ur reply dear....after reading both replies i will definitely gonna think abt it..i think u r right sitting at home might be more stressful. as a sales person i hv 6 working days :( & i actually get little time with my kid... i shud try to change my job which gives me more time with my kid .

hey ruby hats off to u after huge gap & 3 angels  u dared to step out home

Thx u both ..u definitely given me different angle to my solution... 
 

Rubu 2014-01-22 16:00:59

 

Hi Chaitali,

I am happy to know that you can see what I see. Honestly hang in there. A very wise woman told me once, when you work, please take your day one day at a time.. That way you wouldn't feel overwhelmed.

We panic when we think excessively in multiple direction, while refusing to address the key things which is causing us stress. Your main thing is you need to overcome Guilt and change your job.

It took immense courage to step out. I remember having so much fear and then I knew I had it in me to overcome it. I always believe no matter how tough your situation is " there is always a way out". Always....I am not scared of hard work. And i know that if I continue to work hard, I will be rewarded in some way or the other.


Rubu
 

chaitali5 2014-01-24 11:41:08

 

Gr8 said ruby..u showed lot of daring..sometime talking to stranger gives right way to approach our problems..bcoz it is genuine advice as no connection between them..
Thanks once again ..i ll keep keep coming for seeking advice in future :)
 

 

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