Not sure how to start..i am feeling so lostâ€¦.there are so many aspect of me feeling so.. I will start one by one:-
To start with I am working as a Asst. Manage in one of the Big Four companies, I stay with my husband & 2.2 yr old son. Working is important for me since we have a loan to repay & considering the rising cost â€" I cant afford to leave it. But I miss my sonâ€™s growing up daysâ€¦these days are not going to come back again. I leave home at 7.30 am & its 7 when reach home in the evening. Hardly get 2-3 hrs per day to spend with him.
Secondly, for some days I am not feeling good about my job --- itâ€™s not that I hate my job â€¦some how there is a mismatch of wavelength with my colleagues. But I love the company, love the profile & love my boss â€"she is my role model. Along with job I also like to do something which I enjoy..like I have a fascination to learn Deutsche , but due to lack of time & lack of facilities near my home I am missing those.
I miss my hometown a lot. Miss those carefree days where I used to go out with my friends â€"endless chit chat, movies, eating out, shopping & what notâ€¦. Here I do not have a single friend â€¦ if I have to go out, have to go with my husband only. My husband is nice person - some of the cases very supporting, caring. But at the same time too much diplomatic. If I like something I say that openly & if I donâ€™t like some thing I let that also known. But its hard to have any conversation with him â€" he will always be at his diplomatic best. I tried to have a conversation with hime about how I feel â€" but as per him giving good, costly gifts is enough to show your love & affection. I donâ€™t remember when was the last time we had gone for a movie, gone eating out. Even if we go out some time, its me who have to book the tickets, book table etcâ€¦it feels like I am dragging him without his interest. In our 4 yrs of marriage, we have not taken any vacation together â€"with just only us. According to him, if itâ€™s a holiday â€"it should be an entire big group. Donâ€™t know how do I make him understand that spending some alone time â€"with only both if us, is important.
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