*** Role of husbands after kids are born

8 replies, Page 1

DelishaMumma 2012-08-21 11:21:21

 

Dear All,

This is one topic which is bogging me since i became a mother. I see a tremendous change in my husband nature after our daughter is born. He has beame so distant..

Where does the problem lies. Does anybody else goes through this phase. what are your experiences? we both are working and that too in the same company...but distances have gone four times...

Are our three year old daughter the reason. im damn upset...sad bcz of these changes.

 

Deepti


srini1246 2012-08-22 12:18:06

 

Best thing would be to sit and discuss and get to know the root cause and work on it.

-Srini

 

DelishaMumma 2012-08-22 13:31:08

 

u wont believe but we are discussing this issue for many times. earlier it started with every day discussions, than it went twice a week than weekly than monthly..than quarterly..than biannually...

now i have stop trying.i have quitted.

earlier i was having this philosophy that i will try till end but now after 3 years i feel its the end.

now i have accepted the things as they are. but everyday whenever i close my eyes i feel a pain in my heart ..i feel lonelines,.... bcz i love my husband from deep within my heart.

becaus eof my 3 year old even he feel so much exhausted and tired that he doesnt want to talk.Life has given us so much difficulties. both my husband ad daughter are ill most of the time. The atmosphere of home is stale.

i feel like quitting from everything.

Deepti

 

shenu 2012-08-22 14:27:12

 

 

Hi Delishamumma 

first i would say relax ..

Parenting is not a cake walk, its very important and tough task ,indeed..! becoz for kids we our the role model. their world is first we parents and next comes the rest .

coming to your main concern, see life is not and will not be the same before and after kids arrival .so couple  should understand this and accept whatsoever the circumstance may be.when kids see u like this wat u have mentioned  even they will get disturbed .

may be you and your husband  can spend some time together once in a week or once in two weeks leaving the kid with your mother or ur mother in law ,by going out to your favorite places even half an hour time spent will create great impact. and make sure when u spend time together that u dont discuss things which will end up in arguement.Nobody is perfect , everybody are prone to make mistakes ..so forget and forgive .and this policy applies to ur spouse also !

Life is to be lived only once so why to make it as a burden when u are already gifted with all that you need.

enjoy life,

stay tuned.

Shenu

 

 

 

 


srini1246 2012-08-22 17:42:44

 

I 2nd Shenu

 

Rubu 2012-10-01 11:01:49

 

Ditto.

meanwhile i m sure husbands would be having similar complain from their wives.

remember, dosa in everybodys house has holes.. u are not alone..\

I hv 3 kids and a lot more responsibility... but then instead of thinking why he doesnt talk, i just enjoy my kids more and spend time reading etc.

so take a chill pill... enjoy your life, spend some time with friends... n eveoffn i feel some pain every now and then but then i brush it

Rubu.

 

praxy 2012-11-30 17:14:40

 

i don knw how cum i dint rd dis post...

u r nt alone deishmamma..

rding yr post,i feel i only ve wrote this..my kid gonna b 4..

d day i entered in home frm my mom's home taking my 3 months old baby, my husband n married life both changed frm top to bottom...he changed..he loves children n so our son..his entire attention s captured by our baby..he was excellent father than...and forgot tat he s husband too..though he was grt husband n lover in 4 years of married life b4 kid..

i discussed many times bt no use..now at 4 yrs he s nt even so crazy 4 kid but keep on seeking time 4 his own but he dsnt get n so he remains unsatisfied wid life n so cant njoi d same..i cant convince him tried .

i crave 4 his love n time...

as u said i too ve pain in my heart every night since all last 4 years...

but now as evry1 said, i strtd enjoing wid my son n stopped expacting from him but its very painful to remember old memories of time n love v shared b4 kid..

dont understand y man changes...

 

 

 

praxy 2012-11-30 17:34:59

 

it s said tat child brings parents closer but it proved cmpltly rvrse in my case..v both thrown so far frm each other...and i dont want to consider child reason 4 d same..he s so sweet n lovely child.. i ve seen couples same being romantic n clubbed together even after child..

 


ArathiRasquinha 2012-11-30 17:48:49

 

 Hi All,

I kind of disagree with you guys.

i have been married for the last 8 yrs and have a 3.5 yrs child and personally prefer my life post marriage.

Both of us are working full time and have very little time for family life.

Around the delivery time i had serious issues with my in-laws that almost made me want to divorce my husband.

For my good fortune my parents made me reconcile with my husband.

Post that whatever we do, we do it together.

I keep the kid away from him when he is stressed and he does the same for me when i am stressed.

He has his alone time whenever he wants it and so do I.

We had a lot of freedom before the child, post children we haven't been able to do those activities, but have found new activities that work for us.

I feel its upto us as a couple to make things bright for us and those depended on us.

We have to treat marriage as a partnership and thats when it works best.

Hope this helps.

Regards,

Arathi

 

 

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