Why is life so difficult for a single parent ?????????

15 replies, Page 1

Naushu 2012-03-01 22:32:33

 

Hi friends, I am Naushad from Bangalore.. I am a single mother of a 7y kid.. I find every step really difficult still after a long journey of 4 years.. when we go out some where, my son looks at the dads playing with their children.. I try my best to be a mother and father.. but still am not a father ?..how much ever I try..suggest something.. 


ibti 2012-03-01 23:53:01

 

Hi Naushad, yes its so true no matter how much you try to fill in the gaps, children will still miss the gracing hands be it father or mother, I advise you to get indulged with him in outdoor sports and try to make him feel stronger and make him realize what a single mom has gone throught and bringing him up, its usually easy to divert kids and brain wash their sensen, hope you understand what i meant.

Ibti

 

RobinAdhikari 2012-03-02 06:47:04

 

If  father is available around and willing, please dont deprive the child his father's love whatever may be the difference is between yourselves. Children should be kept out of all disputes. Shared Parenting is always in the best interest of the child.

If father is no more or not available with the child, then the almighty is the best father to look after the child. Leave the child with him.

 

Naushu 2012-03-02 09:06:49

 

 

Thanks Ibti,

I try to do that but you know what? after handling household activities, office stress etc.. I hardly have some energy left to take care of his studies.. but still I play football and cricket with him and when I play cricket with him, he comes to know that I dont know ABC about it... He is more concious about what people will think? why they are staring at us?.. Why always we are ignored by others?, Why the children in our locality does not play with him.. (mothers ask their children not to play with my son).. and seriously I dont have any answer to his nonstop innocent questions..

 


Naushu 2012-03-02 09:19:12

 

Thank you RobinAdhikari,

Even I feel the same way. I took my son to Mumbai in Aug11 to let him meet his father, when I called his father before reaching Mumbai to inform about our arrival.. he straight away said "dont come at my place", still I went to Mumbai, stayed at friends place and one evening I took my son to his house, he sent his brother-in-law outside to inform us that he is not at home, guess what he says " Your husband said he is not at home"... My son was so excited to see him after a long time of 2y. In this 2 years he visited Bangalore number of times but never bothered to see how my son is? He told me he will claim my son once he is grown up, after all he is my blood it seems.., I have surendered myself and my son to God almighty., he is the only one who is and will give strength and willpower to fight with this world.

 

shriyaK 2012-03-02 10:14:02

 

Hi Naushu,

Let the Almighty give all the strength and courage for u and the little one, to lead a happy life.

God will bless u both dear.

 

 

nani02 2012-03-02 12:05:45

 

Hi Naushu,

Please don't ever think abt the person who not even wants to meet you...who doesn't care about his son. Seems to be he has no emptional feelings abt son.

Everyone's life is different from others. I know so many families where fights happens regularly, which spoils childs future. Atlease your kid is not seeing these arguments.

Don't ever discuss with others about the problems or con's of being single mother infront of our kid. If anybody asks abt his father tell straight  taht you are not living with him confidently, so that kid won't think that as some thing -ve.

When you can't play cricket, its ok..I know somany fathers who can't play cricket, though they know, they feel bore to play with kids.

Even my husband never plays with my kid, instead he wathces TV. Generally I take her to park and I play with her. Where as my kids friend's fathers comes to park and play with them. Intially I was also worrying, but later I stopped. Though my kid asks me, I says like you friend mothers don't know how to play  thats why father is comming. She feels proud that her mother knows something more than others.

I don't know how old your kid is, you can show some cartoon programs like chota bheem. In that for few of the characters only mother is there. The father character is not there. You can take this as example.

 

 

sachpreet 2012-03-03 10:59:38

 

I have read a very good self help book " The Law of Attraction " by Esther and Jerry Hicks.So Pls. read if you want to make your life positive.

 


 Former member 2012-03-03 11:04:43

 

 I agree life is difficult for single mothers specially while handing a boy!!!My son loves to ride bikes....I feel so disturbed...whatever I might do,sumthings like this are always left...I just wanted to know...If u r divorced or not??? Havn't u ever thought of getting married again??????

 

 

Naushu 2012-03-03 11:27:37

 

 Thank you all my friends, 

My son is 7, I never make him feel that we are missing something in our family, I tell him we are lucky, we dont have anyone who will keep on asking and ordering.. we are independent to take decisions and enjoy life.. he knows on other moms even if they are house wifes dont spend time with their kids as I do.. Actual when I was suffering from viral fever, my som told me " Mama y dont you get married?" I was surprised and he said  "I want some one to take care of you as you take care of me.." I answere God is always with us ans supporting us in all good and bad times,, y do we need a human being to trouble us..and I started laughing..to divert his mind.. Yes I am facing a challange when it cames to teaching Cycling.. I know it but the physical support required to teach is a problem..n I stoped taking his cycle out since 1 year.. planning to take it out this vacation and try to teach him..

Thankd again every one.. will catch you later..

 

 

ibti 2012-03-07 02:35:22

 

Awwhh.. that’s no good, I wonder why people do this, anyways not to agonize we have to deal with the spiteful world with hypocrites around us. Yes I can understand what it takes for a working mom to manage home and work, at times life can take such turns that nothing can be done, fight or just give up. Well good to observe that you are a fighter

 

sunny2012 2012-05-01 13:05:32

 

Hi friends, i read all discusion of how much difficulties facing for single parents,

my son is now come in 5th standard he is too much smart & sweet, i look after him from last 5years, my wife left out us before 2 years , she just retuned hom in jan 2012, but she still not have interest to do parenting, still i look after my son, i give my all love to my son but how can i give love as like any mother, he miss her too much, 

i try all of my best to give him all love.

 


choudhary19 2014-01-04 10:23:09

 

Hey guys,

Forget about filling in for the other parent. That's quite impossible.

Instead, start living your life for him. Stop worrying about he/she not having his mother/father. You are still there for your kid. Understand that he is lucky to have someone love him the way we love our kids.

Live your life, you only have one chance....Make sure your kid understands what's life all about. Make sure he becomes independent and responsible.

Live your life with them for them....

 

preethi1 2014-02-04 23:59:50

 

Hi folks, 
choudary is right nobody can fill the other parent role ..don't Ty to be one .. When the child sees you filling that place thane whinge realizes the emptiness .. Being single parents don't feel pity abut urslve u r the happy ones than most of the Parents. I'm coming fro USA worked as teacher  I  had soomay student who had singeparents but they are happy .. Kids n parents....,teach a child n to.urselvs to be happy wit. WHat u have andnt oh thin bat what u dnthave .. That's  when we live happily ..children who miss their father let them meet their grand father , uncles or sirs very often it illdefietlb workout. The same thing with children go misss ther mothers or fnd Male /female to interact .
hopethis encourages  you.
preethi1
 

Raajeysh 2014-02-15 17:51:24

 

Naushad, 

I am sure no parent can really be both rolled into one, your child needs more attention something like a father figure, you could get some very good friends to help you out. In case you are working, you could get some colleagues to help you out, well I know there could be animals preying, but that for a lady is not too difficult to work out, so give him the company he needs from males and he will understand that he gets the attention and the masculine company he needs in his sports and adventures, who knows sometimes there may be something that you might like too and then in that case there is an acceptable face for both to include, but don't for heaven's sake be suspicious of every one, not everyone is out to gallivant, just saying this in case that seems to be a fear or reason, don't let that cost him his growth, after all chances are to be taken with some due diligence and a watchful eye, for chance it was that led you to being a single parent in the first place. 

Wish you the best.

kind regards,
Raj
 

vivekdutt 2014-09-09 11:07:34

 

hi, im vivek from bangalore, whitefeild area, gone through many posts and blogs os single parenting, felt upset from inside and want to do something which could help somebody. my current job gives me lot of spare time hence want to do baby sitting activity who requires it. i love to spend time with kids and take care of them. if anybody wants my sincere help, kindly let me know. take care. vivek
 

 

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