Advise for my child

  Hi Jayaji,

More than  the change of school or tuitions, you need to look into the root cause of his negative  behaviour as to ' Why is he behaving this way?' .

• Doesn't he like his school, teachers or friends ?
•  Is he feeling left out or inferior ?
• Is he unable to cope up  or understand in school for which he  is telling  lies.
• Are u able to spend enough time with him at home ?
   There can be many reasons and It is definitely a cause of concern. 

This is a very tender age and you also need to take a counselor's advice and guidance who can help you out.  I think Aanchal will be able to give you a detailed insight and help u out  by giving tips for mending his behaviour.  I will put a word to her in the inbox . May be she could help  u out.

Before suggesting any school, pl let me know :

In which school is he studying currently ?

How many students are there in his section ?

How was he performing academically before?

Did you talk to his teachers ? What do they say ? If teachers are not showing any concern, then you surely need to look into this. 

What is he good at ? Does he have any other interest like Sports, Arts , Music , Dance ?

Regards,
mickey

jayaji,

mickey forwarded me your query..i guess she has already written some important points for you to look at.

lack of interest in studies has to be analysed in order to be remediated. may be he feels a lot of pressure to show his work (which he has not done) and this has taught him to lie here and there to escape. first thing first, i would suggest you to stop scolding and beating him. he may not need as much academic coaching as someone to listen to him empathetically.

reasons behind this lack of interest in studies could be plenty:

• learning difficulties in terms of spellings, handwriting, writing, memory, concentration, phonetics
• poor grasping skills due to which concepts are not getting clear
• teachers' teaching methods are not suiting his way of learning
• he doesnt understand ''why'' he sould learn all that is given in the syllabus
• defiance against authority (parents or teachers or both)
• some physiological difficulty (poor eyesight, headaches after studying for 10 minutes, wrist pain while writing etc-- most children do not understand the location of the pain and feel irritated instead)
• too many students in the class and he feels lost while the teacher is teaching
• bad peer group
• pre-adolescence symtpoms
• feeling of being different from his classmates (in terms of looks, age, height, voice, economic status etc)
• addiction of something more interesting (TV, video games, boys' magazines, internet surfing, own body- this is typically there in pre-adolescent kids- so you need to watch out for these)

there could be something else behind your son's problem..i have tried to write down some common reasons that are generally seen in children typically 10-13 years old.

first try to find out the root problem..then may be we can together think of a solution

dont worry..since you are an involved and concerned parent, things will get better with your help to your son..just calm down and think without stressing yourself :)

Jayaji

1. How much time daily you are spending with your kid for last 3 years, after coming from the schoo.