Hi all, Please suggest how to tackle this problem

sarasrl 2012-10-10 16:58:04

Hi all,

There is this group of kids in my street with whom my kid likes to play.This group has different age kids like four 10yr olds, one 7yr and two 6.5yr kids and the youngest of all is my kids who will turn 6 in Nov.

The problem with my kid is that she sometimes does not play well probably coz of her age.Other kids are very good at the games (younger ones are not so good but better than my kid).So they always used to target my kid and make her out.Always my daughter used to chase others and in turn will be chased again.Nevertheless she enjoyed it and hence we were not worried as we knew that she will pick up later.

Let me let you about one kid who is creating problem. She 10 yr old and is very bossy.I mean, I have never seen such a kid in my life. She wants all the kids to listen to her no matter what other kids say.And, she has managed all the kids to listen her always. Even my daughter treats her like one god. She cheats most of the times. Once when my hubby told her to play fair game, she told straight on face “That’s how we play“

Now the problem is, for some reason (Probably my kid doesn’t play well), she has told my kid not to join them to play.Other kids obviously listen to her. So whenever my kid goes near them she tells her to go back. Other kids also join her and tell my kids to go back.SO my kid is feeling bad about it. My hubby is taking her to nearby park, but she has kind outgrown it so she does not enjoy.

I want her to socialize well and play with all kids. Please suggest something.

How do we tackle such bossy kids? How do we tackle my kid?

Thanks,

Saras

AryaaAndMe 2012-10-10 17:32:47

Hi Saras,

This is quite a common scene here and there now-a-days in most of the apartment.

As mothers we should also get to know our kids friends very well and be friendly with them. The next time when they are playing, YOU should take your daughter to play with them and tell them to include her.

Praise the girl who is bossy and tell her how lovely she looks and all sort of things to appreciate her. Then finally tell her that being elder, she can teach your kid the game and the srategies to play. She will definitely agree. These kids always will be flattered with recognition and will be ready to help others for recognition.Tell her that you were talking to others as to how she is helping your child to mingle and all that.

Remember for few days, till things are normal, you be with your child while she is playing in the group. This will make your child secure, Keep encouraging her, when she is running or chasing. This will also ensure that the bondage between you and your child a everlasting one. At the end of the day, when you go to sleep, tell your child how well she performed during the play time and how proud you are about it. I hope this helps you.

Also, You said your daughter's birthday is in Nov. My suugestion to you is to organise a small birthday party and invite all these kids to your place. In the party, you can include small games like musical chair, passing the ball etc and make the party a memorable one. I am sure that there will be plenty of time for you to talk to the kids and become friendly. Once you become a friend in their group, there is no way that any child will boss around your child.

All the very best. Enjoy your play time.

Happy Parenting! Good Luck!!!!

sarasrl 2012-10-11 13:13:45

Hi Aryanandme,

Thanks a lot for your suggestions. I will try to implement your suggestions. Let see..Hope things will improve over time..

Thanks Again,

Saras

sansah 2012-10-18 12:03:44

hi saras,

my kid is now 9.5 yrs old. Such situation is faced by, i think, all the parents. So first thing is just take away the thought from your mind "why this is happening with my child?".

I have heard a term "Kaccha limbu" from my kid. Basically they identify the youngest kid or group of kids as Kaccha linbu and then play all sorts of tricks with this kid or kids.

When such situation occured with my kid, i also ignored it for some time. But then one day, i straight away went to that bullying kid and talked with her infront of other kids. So the other kids also got the message. I also threatened her that if she doesnot behave properly with my kid , i will complain to her mother.

For few days they played nicely with my kid but then it started again. Then, one evening i came down and calle dher mother. I took her in the corner but assured that the bullying kid is observing us but could not hear what we are talking. I was actually just chatting with her pointing my fingers ,inbetween, toward that bullying child.

After that the frequency of bullying my kid reduced.

and now all these kids are grown up to the age ranging from 9-12yrs. you will not believe that the same bullying child is now taking utmost care for these kaccha limbu group.

So time passes, but do not ignore the bullying child. Take action. Let your child feel that he/she is special and you will not leave her alone when she needs you.

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