please help - 6 yr old won't listen

2 replies, Page 1

PoojaRS 2011-10-31 12:17:05


my son is going to be 6 year old... and my concern is he has to be told to do things many times... i mean if it's about going to potty... brushing.... studying .... etc... and most of the times... i find him distracted midway and maybe playing with toys or fibling with something and not doing what was asked...... i have tried making a timetable for him... but that has not helped.... i have tried explaining to him with love with scold.... that he needs to do things on his own...  am i being a little too much for a 6 yr old... pls share your experiences..... he day dreams a lot and can sit with the food for a long time and have to be told several times to finish it....... and if i speak loudly at him he gets scared and then whatever has to be done... is done in no time... but i really feel very bad/guilty after doing so... otherwise he is a very intelligent and nice boy. but off late he has just started to ignore whatever is said/asked  in a polite way and only when we loose our patience will he listen.

pls pls pls help . i just don't like being harsh with kids.... pls share what can we do  in this situation. 

reshu18 2011-11-01 20:51:40


may be he has a low attention span..try taking some professional help in terms of some psychological evaluation.

genrally the assesment is done through parents, they are asked a set of questions.. this way the child will not come to know about anything and the concerns could eb settled.


RoshMom 2011-11-02 06:38:28


Hi Pooja,

You are not alone. My little one just turned 6 and he started reacting that way since last year. Lost in his own world and he has to be told many times. I think it's just the age. They have their own thoughts and perspectives and they are becoming independent. So they start to do what they like / want to do and whenever they want to do. My son doesn't  listen sometimes when he is too busy with his toys or books. So what i do is instead of calling from far. I go near him and tell him what he needs to do and i give him a 5 min time to finish off whatever he is doing after which he has to come to the table or do whatever he is supposed to do. when he doesn't listen i give him a timeout or take out some privelege.  But not always. While brushing or potty I used to give him a watch and give him certain time within which he has to finish his work. But halfway inbetween i remind him to finish it faster. Sometimes he feels so bored and he will be lost in his own thoughts. When i find him day dreaming I try to accompany him while brushing or eating and we keep talking about any of his favorites. It's really frustrating to keep repeating the same thing. So I use a gesture (tap with my finger on the table) to remind him to conitnue eating.  We have a star reward notebook where i keep adding stars for every good thing he does like helping me, setting up the table, practice his music lessons and even listening to me when he was told for the first time. For every 10 stars, he gets 1 hr TV time or he exchanges the stars for his favorite books or to do his favorite things.  It has really been working for me. Sometimes he does things on his own like cleaning up the room even before i tell him and he reminds me that he deserves a star.  So instead of scolding him or telling him softly, look out for good things he does and praise and reward him. He might start listening. All the best. 



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