Learning problem - Because of stubborn attitude

3 replies, Page 1

DishaChennai 2015-12-19 23:02:02



This is about my daughter who is 7 years old. In the following few lines I have tried my best to tell about her. Please share your thoughts on how I can go about.

She wants to do everything in her own way. If she knows that we want to do a thing in particular way, she will want to completely avoid that, unless our way is extremely interesting. She is a child, and does not know several things. When it comes to situation where she has to listen to us, it does not work. She will reject the situation and will start to wonder about on how to avoid the scene. Its applicable to eating as well. She sees eating as a very bad experience. In hotels, it would be a difficult job to make her eat. She wont drink a drop of water in her school.

She keeps on saying the same few things that she knows. Even if she knows answers for few obvious questions, she will ask it again and again.

She does not want to mingle with other kids. In fact, she does not play with other kids at all. Despite several attempts, it did not work. If she is taken to childrens park, she will play for 1 hr and then will want to go back home. But when in home, she will want to go to park.

Her pronounciation of certain sounds are not right. For 'ka' she will say 'tha'. No problem in hearing. No tongue tie. Her tooth arrangement is also well.

All these put together makes her communication to remain under-developed. And that condition again sustains all the conditions mentioned above. Despite this, she is a happy and lovable child.

Any thoughts?


VRA9 2016-02-19 22:19:23


 You should see a child Psychiatrist.

RoshMom 2016-04-21 07:42:00


Hi Disha, 
Rest assured that there is nothing wrong with your child. She is just being her age. 

She he wants to exercise her freedom and wants to tell you that she is big enough to take decisions for herself. I agree that she is only a child that she may not know what is wrong or right. But unless and until there is something that would physically hurt her, you allow her to do things her own way. She wants to be creative and try her way. When she struggles and when she can't finish the work, offer help. Ask if you may help her. Let her try her own way. If she makes mistakes, she will learn from her mistakes. At least be happy she wants to stand by what she believes in. That's the reason she doesn't want to change the way she wants to do things. It might look stubborn. But trust me, it would help her in longer run to stand for herself. She will definitely grow up to be a confident child. So don't think she is intentionally trying to irritate you or insult you. 

When in restaurant, allow her to choose what she wants to eat and how much she wants to eat. Don't force her to finish everything. Or if you can feed her at home before you go to the restaurant, do that, to avoid frustration. 

In school, children are so much involved with activities and friends they don't want to miss out on anything and sometimes they forget.to eat or drink water. Probably you can tell her to finish at least half a bottle of water (to start with). In school. Or leave a note or reminder in her lunch box or snack box to drink water.. 
The reason she wants to talk about the same thing again and again is that she feels that you don't listen to her much and she feels ignored. Get her involved in your daily conversations. She wants to be included in your conversation and the only way she can be part of it for a longer time is to talk about the things she knows very well.  Show your affection more explicitly. Give a lot of physical affection by hugging her, making her sit on your lap, look in her eye while she is talking. Let her feel she is special.
If she has friends in school or someone who she might be a little close with or if she would feel comfortable around someone, call home that friend for a play date for only a couple of hours so she can focus and spend the whole time with just one friend. If she has problem in playing or talking to that friend, help them to get involved in a planned activity at home like baking together or painting together. She might take some time but eventually she will start playing with her friend. Try to do it more often. Playing for an hour in a park is perfectly fine and it's more than enough. So don't worry.
The only thing I see as an issue is her pronunciation which you mentioned. You may want to talk to her paediatrician to see how you can help her. Good luck Disha.

 Former member 2016-05-09 11:48:52


hi Disha,

   My son is 6 yr old with delayed developments .He wants to do whatever he likes always .For example ,in opening a car door , when we open left side door and ask him to get in ,he will go the other side and get in .when we press one left , he might not like to come in that .And few therapist told that hes having ODD disorder where he gets angry and will not be able to accept what we tell and does things the way he likes and hence he has issues making friends in school .But I don't tell that your daughter is having that issue . u can check some child psychologist always if you have any doubts about your kid .


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