Can someone please help? Is this attention issue?

22 replies, Page 1

tsnap299 2020-03-07 03:33:15


Hello.. My son was 2 years old when he came to US (2017) and he just started speaking tamil. When he was about 2.5, we put him to a home school with 4-5  kids and he was there for about 10 months. When he was about 3.5, I put him to a Montessori school so that he gets more exposure with lot of kids around. Till then we had seen no differences in his behavior and things went well. The community which we live doesn't have much Indians but my wife ensure he catches up with some kids at times and I spend time with him over the weekend by taking him to parks, public places. Please note that we don't give him smartphone. He watches ryhmes and cartoons in TV.In the park, inflatables area he doesn't play roughly and we need to push him to go on slides. We felt these were all normal as he always comes and talks, disturbs me and wife when are busy with our own work.  He plays with me at home and doesn't let me stop playing. This all happened till Aug 2019. When I leave him to the Montessori school in the morning, he will be on his own and doesn't interact with other kids. When I spoke to the teacher there she said some kids take time and she said he is improving academically. Now since he became eligible to join a public school, I put him to the public school. This is where I felt, I made a big mistake.That is changing school..I think he got overwhelmed by the big atmosphere and he being an introvert kept to himself. Now we had a meeting after a month and the class teacher said he doesn't focus at class and keeps looking else where when the class is on, doesn't interact with kids (same happened in Montessori), doesn't follow the queue and in the play ground he just doesn't play with other kids. When I went to the school one day, I saw the same I was totally devastated seeing that for the 1st time. My wife too saw the same and we were not able to accept what we saw as he was not like this at home. Then even at home he started speaking to himself, sings rhymes on his own and doesn't respond immediately and didn't have interest in any school related activities. We were not able to accept this at all as all this happen immediately. He is 4.5 years old now and nowadays he speaks most of the time in English and at times tamil. After all this I took him to the pediatrician and explained her (without my son around) what we saw and what we heard from school. Then she spoke to him and when she asked questions he responded to almost all the questions and she said she doesn't see anything different. She redirected us to a neurologist and also bilingual kids sometimes has these kid of issues. I again explained the same to the neurologist and he too spoke to my son and said he doesn't see anything different and based on what I said he said my son might be missing the scholastic skills and he might have a mild symptom but going by the discussion with my son he said he doesn't see anything. He suggested to take an appointment with a psychologist and get him evaluated. By that time I had to renew my visa and traveled back to India and we decided to have my son in India after all this as I don't have plans to stay in US for a long time. Myself and my wife decided to go back to India as we felt my son will have my parents around, my wife mother and other kids around to play with. US being a quiet place I felt India is the best place for him and I put him to a CBSE school. Meanwhile I told my parents about all this and my parents said they don't see anything different but still suggested to evaluate. Again when I evaluated with a person in India, he said my son seems to be reactive and don't see anything big. Now we are totally confused and everyday is a nightmare nowadays. This is what happens at school in India. My son doesn't stand in one place during the prayer i.e he doesn't stand still in one place and when the teacher addresses the whole class he doesn't listen and looks elsewhere. If the teacher is 2 feet near to him and asks him to do something he does but the moment the teacher leaves he goes back to his own world. Ultimately he forgets where he is and keeps doing things on his own. When we pick him from school in the evening he will be absolutely normal and speak to us normally.
Now I have come back to US alone and my wife, son are my parents home. We spoke to the HM at school and said we consulted the psychologist and said there is nothing. She too said, we need to increase his attention and ensure he focuses in a better way.
We are currently not taking any kind of therapy but ensuring he is always busy at home, goes to park, goes out all the time and we ensure he is always busy.

Can someone please let me know if my son has any attention issues and how to overcome this? If he doesn't know how to conduct himself in a public place when everyone are around how will he improve? Please suggest. worried parent here.

tsnap299 2020-03-08 04:52:03


Can someone please provide your suggestions on what we should do next?

Tintin2013 2020-03-10 16:36:08


I am sharing my experience, which has some similarities to your sons case. My son also never mingled with other kids, disconnected in class, doesn't stand in queue and so on. He understands and 'chooses' to respond when someone talks to him. Till some stage we were treating him like small boy, so didn't understand the difference. Only when he was 4, i started observing his behavior vs other normal kids. Finally at 5, we diagnosed him with ADHD and mild features of ASD, which doctor said he will overcome as he grows. He is 6 years old now, and his major issue is attention deficiency, which is now impacting his academics. Also, sensory problem which affects his eating habits. Till KG school was saying similar to what you have mentioned, and now in 1st, they say he is not at the class level. My suggestion is if you and your wife find he is different in many aspects in relation with other kids of his age, its better to carryout thorough assessment for him and go for OT or remedy, if needed. We were also confused initially, but few symptoms woul be mild and shall get prominent as the child grows. Early intervention is always better. You may be able to bring him back by 1st, if he has minor issues

tsnap299 2020-03-11 00:34:42


Thanks Tintin2013 for your suggestion and inputs.
In all 3 places (1 pediatrician in US, 1 neurologist in US and 1 psychologist in India)  where we took suggestion they said they don't see anything and he will outgrow.
But going by what we hear regarding attention from the class teachers we feel it's better to have him go through some therapy.

Now here is where we are stuck:
Currently my wife, son are at hometown which is 500+ km from Chennai. It's a tier 2 city in Tamilnadu. But we feel it's not good for evaluation, therapy as we already saw a place suggested by our Pediatrician. Can't move to Chennai (facilities will be better in Chennai compared to my hometown) as my wife, son cannot stay alone. I am currently in US and decided not to bring wife, son to US.
One more reason for putting my son in hometown is because he will always be engaged with grandparents, relatives and other kids around and we feel my son is getting settled in this school. He will turn 5 this July and he will be in UKG.
Now we need to decide which place is good for therapy. 
Can you please clarify on the sensory problems that affected your son eating habits? Have you put your son to therapy and do you see any improvements with his attention?


123bhavi 2020-03-11 07:16:54


Give a try by inviting the neighbors kids of the same age/ or take him to park where he can mingle with kids of same age..and see if it makes should be more of playing ..only play makes kids happy..

Tintin2013 2020-03-11 12:40:32


Regarding his sensory issues, I used to feed him mashed food, from his 8th month including rice, chappati, vegetables etc. He swallows and doesn't chew. This i am not able to change till now. He chews and eats some crispy items on his own. I am having hard time now to make him touch food and eat on his own. Spoon/fork also are of no use. Secondly, he used to close his ears for loud noises like ambulance sound or loud horn. Any sudden noises distracts him and takes off his attention easily. He seems to improve on this for sometime now.. I always assure him its normal noise and he also understands it. Third issue, he only wears some typical dresses and wont wear partywear, full-hand shirts which i try to change gradually. You can see for these cues in your son, does he touch crayons and sits for 3-5 minutes to color with focus? Does he play in sand with hands? hide a coin or something in a bowl full of grains like ragi and see if he is ready to put his hands to find it? Does he look at your face when you talk? Does he wear different textures/types of cloths? does he often smells non-edible items e.g crayons. In general OT seems to work for these, and since i started recently only still keeping my fingers crossed... O T helps in improving attention, but it really happens very gradually. Again if i had started when he was 3 or 4, i feel by now he would have been much better. That's why i thought of sharing my experience with you.

123bhavi 2020-03-11 12:46:24


Tintin2013 did you complete detoxification of heavy metals from your kid...I read somewhere one of the parent used Advanced TRS detox spray..for about 6 months and all the sensory issues are gone.. You have to get it from US..if you wanted to use

tsnap299 2020-03-12 09:02:48


Thanks Tintin2013 for the clarifications. My son doesn't have issues eating and he does eat by himself. And he doesn't close his ears for loud noises and has not been choosy about the clothes he wears. I have taken him to beach and park and he does play with sand using his hands. I have not seen him smelling crayons. Regarding coloring, initially he was doing fine. But after I put him to the public school things got reversed and he was not interested in any of the activities. Recently he has been doing this coloring thing on his own. May be 1 page at a time but doesn't sit much. Regarding hiding coin in Ragi, we have not tried.

My son will turn 5 in 5 month from now, hopefully he improves.
We are also giving omega-3 fish oil gummies as suggested by the neurologist in US.

One more question please. Is your son taking OT in a major city? Chennai?Can you please share details of the center?

tsnap299 2020-03-12 09:04:06


Thanks 123bhavi for the suggestion.
Yes, we do take him to parks and ensure he is with other kids. Currently since he is at home town we are ensuring he is happy with lot of people around.

tsnap299 2020-03-12 09:05:47


123bhavi,Can you please share details on what you mean by 'Advanced TRS detox spray'? Can you share some useful internet links? Is this suggested by any doctor for attention issues?


Tintin2013 2020-03-12 15:34:09


Then it appears you need not worry about sensory issues, which is really good :) I took my son for Sometime to vexcel at Tiruvanmiyur, chennai. But my son was extremely uncomfortable there and i find his therapist was rude. The centre is hardly transparent. So i stopped from this place now and looking out for changing. I got very good feedback about Dr.Karthik in Saidapet / thoraipakkam from couple of parents who had witnessed improvement. Planning to check there. Any suggestion from other parents will be of great help. Also can you please share omega3 gummies you mentioned. I am also planning to start in discussion with his pediatrician.

Tintin2013 2020-03-12 15:42:20


Hi 123bhavi..Looks like Something magical to me. I haven't heard about this. Can you please share any other information on this? I will also google and see.. Thank you for the lead

123bhavi 2020-03-12 21:07:03



i believe every kid is unique and my suggestion is just give a try to detoxify  and pray got it works 

there are different ways of detoxification like ACC ( andy clutter chelation  )  and   spray  ..

and if you go to any ayurvedic centre ( old doctors who does holistic approach they do some panchakarma treatments to detoxify the body ) dont try the young ones who just passed out of college

do your research and see what suits best for you and give a try ...

what i understand is that we need to keep trying different things untill it works properly 

my approach is that keep the gut healthy and reduce the inflamtion to brain cells as said in namecheck protocal

1 use Prebiotic - inulin/d-lactate free probiotic powder/any other available in market
2  reduces the inflation of brain cell  - omega 3 fish oils 
3  give supplements vitamins/minerals to the body 
4  lots and lots of love and play with kid ..
5  people say GFCFSF diet helps can give a try but it depends on kid to kid ...

i have seen some really positive changes and hope you will see as well



Tintin2013 2020-03-13 18:03:16


Thank you so much 123bhavi...Appreciate your response... I had not tried on these lines much, and its an useful parallel track for me to work on. May God bless you.

123bhavi 2020-03-13 20:20:31


check the below link 

these are parent groups and you can join and get lot of info


Tintin2013 2020-03-14 22:09:44


Sure... thanks a ton

tsnap299 2020-03-14 22:44:43


Hi Tintin2013,
First of all, I am extremely sorry for the late response. Sorry, I had to stretch for extra hours at office and reached home too late. Didn't get a chance to login. 
Please find below details of the gummies. 1:
This one I got it from a organic super market in US and gave my son at least 3 bottles. Now it's over and it's not available in India. I think it's available in Please check
Since 1 is not easily available in India we started giving this smarty pants gummies. It too has omega 3 along with other vitamins and has very good reviews. One good thing about this is that it's used by a lot of parents in India also. My wife just got it from Please check with your pediatrician / neurologist regarding omega 3 and then get. Omega 3 is good anyways. This one is a bit cheaper in US. Next time when I travel, I need to get this. Meanwhile my wife will get it from


tsnap299 2020-03-14 22:46:06


Thanks 123bhavi for the details you have shared regarding detoxify. I will have a look and understand more details on that and then share details to my wife.

Tintin2013 2020-03-17 23:23:10


No prblem tsnap299 and thank you so much for the response. One of the parent here suggested calibrain syrup which has omega3 and vitamind3. Let me consult with our peadiatrician and take it up. Thanks once again

tsnap299 2020-03-18 03:25:45


Sure Tintin2013

tsnap299 2020-03-28 22:32:31


Hi All,
My son is doing coloring, writing, tracing for max 5-10 mins but looks around while doing these activities. He doesn't concentrate on the given activity but looks around and seems disinterested.
Sometimes he does concentrate on these activities normally. But that's a rarity.

Can someone please let me know some good tips and tricks that can be tried at home to improve his concentration and attention span? Please share details so that we can try it at home.

tsnap299 2020-03-31 02:55:50


Can someone share tips and tricks to improve child attention span at Home?With Corona around, unable to even go out. 
Would like to hear some games, activities for children that will improve attention span? Basically trying to make son sit in one place with some work/activity for at least 30 mins.

tsnap299 2020-04-07 06:49:01


>>>>> Can someone please share your views?

Can someone share tips and tricks to improve child attention span at Home?With Corona around, unable to even go out. Would like to hear some games, activities for children that will improve attention span? Basically trying to make son sit in one place with some work/activity for at least 30 mins.


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