Autism : Return to India Vs stay in the USA

thepinkdad 2014-03-07 02:19:59

We stay in the US currently. My daughter is 4 yrs old. She was 2 when we got the Autism diagnosis, if it were not for the mandatory screening we wouldn't have realized that she had autism at all at that age. She acted fine except that she didnt speak, but the screening team looked at very subtle signs and figure out she as autistic. We are glad we found out so early, because over the past 2 yrs we have been able to educate ourselves, understand about her and arrange for all possible therapies here. She has made great progress but has her shortcoming still. We are proud of all the progress she has made till now.

Now I am contemplating return to India. My wife wants to stay here. With our daughters condition, we have crossed the point where we have a preference of being in the US or being in India. We are ok wherever we are and how much ever we earn , but we just want that place to be the best for our daughter.

I would like to put forth the pros and con of being in the US vs moving to US.

Staying in the US:
Pros -
1) Daughter already used to way of life here.
2) Excellent public school that understand and support individualized curriculum for autism.(Biggest pro)
3) Support from Medical insurance for Behavioral Therapy, OT, ST (she gets 12 hrs/ week now)
4) We hope we will not need it, but worst case, if we need support over long term, the social services in this country is good.

Cons:
1) No family crowd around. We dont have any relatives. My daughter doesn't have any friends. Its difficult for her to make friends with her condition as well.
2) Our parents are extremely loving of our children but they are growing old too and can only visit us.
3) Overall society here is calm and extremely composed (which I think is bad for autistic kids , because there is too much routine and very less simulation, unless we seek it by doing activities. In India, something/someone is making noise or interacting with us, constantly , which is good)

Moving to India
Pros -
1) We have a good family circle and there are kids she can interact with. (But we also had our second daughter who is 3 months now , so my daughters are not really alone now)
2) Stay with grand parents
3) noisy, simulating society (good)

Cons
1) Sidelined into special schools.
2) I am not sure about the quality/time of therapy available in India (since I heard of the word autism) only after my daughter.
3) Least important - I am not a very rich guy, so I am totally dependent upon a job for money. In India IT jobs are time consuming leaving for little time with family. Here in the US I work 9-5 , spending 100% of the rest of the time spending with family.

I am so sorry for the long post. But if anyone did read through it, pls let me know your thoughts.

Thanks,
ThePinkDad

abhihoney 2014-03-07 14:11:49

hi I am parent of 23 month old AUTISTIC child. by going through your post i will strongly recommend that u should stay at US only.In india u will have to struggle for everything . though some of the facilities r good here but the facilities u get in US is unmatched.so my advice to u is better be in US.

thepinkdad 2014-03-09 09:35:57

abihoney, thanks for your thought. We are also thinking the same.

Also, someone private messaged me saying they will give a detailed experience of theirs, I couldnt figure how to reply to them, but just wanted to say thank you and I will be looking forward to your mail. It will be very helpful for my family.

Thanks,
thepinkdad

26marks 2014-03-09 13:41:53

Hi pink dad,

I have a three year old autistic son. I live in India, and I strongly recommend that you stay put in the US. The pro outweigh the cons anyway. And trust me the simulation in with all the noise and overcrowded places can be overwhelming for children who are accustomed to living in the States. Moreover you can provide your child with the best simulation and therapy at home. You don't need to around 10000 relatives who give out advice as if they know it all. There is hardly any autism awareness in India.
i urge you to check out the son-rise program in the US, and also find out more about a nutrionist Kelly Dorfman. These have helped me immensely. I hope they help you too. If you have any questions mail me at amritabimbrahw@gmail.com

Regards,
Amrita

raunak24 2014-03-10 12:21:00

Hi pink dad,

I would suggest you to stay in the US because in India except family every other thing is a struggle. Therapist medication,integrated school the list is looong. Very few dr are there who know all about Autism. My sincere request is to stay back.

rkrishna 2014-03-10 15:09:02

Hi Pinkdad,

Your pros for staying in US alone is enough to stay back in US. One biggest plus point for India would be the socialization i.e. friends, relatives (apart from grandparents for the kid) and of course the weather and if you can explain the condition, you will have good support from your parents and relatives as well if and when you feel depressed feeling like fighting this battle all alone and also life isn't very monotonous in India (even if your job is), because of socialization and festival celebrations.

I returned to India (Hyderabad) from UK two years back and for me I feel it was a good decision. My son was two and half years old when we returned and my son was diagnosed with autism here in India just after we returned and it was a big shock for us and took some time for us to digest the fact. That's the first time we came to know that something like this can happen to children and since then we met various doctors and searched internet and started the treatment. I think the autism awareness is not too bad here, though not as much as in US or UK. I could find some therapists and doctors who understand and treat autism and most importantly, we are getting support and valuable advice from parents and relatives here and the weather is also good here. In UK, weather is too cold at least for six months in an year and makes it difficult to take the kids outside to play in park etc. My son used to get frequent colds when he was in UK and he is feeling better here. Regarding the job workload in India, it depends on your role. I think it should be possible to find a role that's very demanding.

Despite these plus points, the advantages you mentioned in your post, seem to outweigh the benefits of staying in India

Rama

thepinkdad 2014-03-12 21:44:11

Hi Amrita, Thank you for your thoughts. Yes I am planning to attend the son-rise program next month that's happening in our area. Once again, thanks for your thoughts.

26marks 2014-03-13 18:25:19

Pinkdad, I'm happy I could help out. :)

thepinkdad 2014-03-13 22:10:23

Thank you for your thoughts Raunak24.. I appreciate it.

shriankur 2014-05-02 15:13:12

Hi Rkrishna, my situation is exactly similar to you. My son was 2 years 9 month when he got diagnosed with Autism in India recentlt.
I have decided to come back to India from UK after lot of thought and discussion
Yes weather is one of a major factor here + the lack of social and family environment
Hope that decision proves to be correct

shriankur 2014-05-06 11:17:56

Hi Rkrishna, Can I get your no. so that I can further get your guidance?
Thank you.

rkrishna 2014-05-07 14:08:37

Hi Shriankur,

I sent my contact number you. Please check your inbox.

Rama

abhisheksy 2014-05-07 14:47:26

@the pink dad......what have u decided ?

thepinkdad 2014-05-08 01:51:16

@abhusheksy I have decided to stay in the US atleast I get my green card. There is no doubt the social situation is better India, but the school situation , therapy and medical support here is unmatched. I would like to have a backup (green card) before I try to come to India and see if it helps my daughter. Moreover the weather in California is fit for outside play all year, so I dont have the issues that other members in UK complain about. I will miss Indian social life nevertheless and will always be wondering if I am making my daughter miss that. But I am doing it with the best intention, hope it turns out fine.

raunak24 2014-05-09 12:40:24

thepink dad

try n get in ctc with neeti singhal she is a therapist right now working in LIFE STEPS FOUNDATION. She did wonders for my son. Hope it helps u too.

All the best

thepinkdad 2014-05-13 09:27:57

Thanks @raunak24 for the recommendation. I will try to reach out to her. Are you in the bay area too?

SpecialMom 2014-05-15 23:14:56

Dear All,
My son was diagnosed with PDD NOS at his age of 16 months.From then he is on intensive programs and therapies.Now with major improvementshe is able to communicate his needs,toilet and potty trained,goes to normal school,interacts with others and children almostnormally,no behaviour issues,good at academics,can ride his Bicycle,familier with the things going around.
But he is facing couple of issues,like communication is not upto the mark, and Writing skills are not proper.
We are planning to move ST.LOUIS in coming months and would like to know about normal schoolintegration and supportive therapies for my son in ST.LOUIS area.
Appreciate your help on this. Thanks.

mizzs 2014-05-16 07:51:39

Specialmom,
are you already residing in the US or are you moving there from a different country? How old is your son?

SpecialMom 2014-05-16 14:29:23

mizzs,

Now we are in India,we will be moving in couple of months,and my son is 4.5 years old.

mizzs 2014-05-18 07:45:06

When you get to St. Louis find out which school district has good programs for children in the spectrum. Based on that and your husband's work place location find a residence in that school district. Take your son's assessment and other reports (speech and language eval, OT and other reports) and contact the school district to enroll your kid in the most appropriate program. Since you are new to this contact the local office of one of the advocacy groups and take them with you for the meeting. The parent advocate will help you with the process. One thing to remember is that if you say your child has 'mild' needs they will not give you the services he needs. The key is to ask for as much as you can get as private therapy is very expensive. Private therapy is very expensive.

The more services your child gets at a young age the better for him. similarly, insurance pays for some services...find out what they will cover BEFORE you get to St. Louis.

raunak24 2014-05-19 12:49:02

thepinkdad ,

I stay in india Hyderabad, neeti was in hyd before now from past 2 years she is in US.

Former member 2014-05-25 20:58:51

@thepinkdad--
you have taken right decision o stay in us.
but plz rethink about ur decision to join son rise programme, dont waste ur time, money and ur child's crucial year in a programme which does not validate itself.
Find a good ABA programme and a good therapist, u won't regret it.

qass 2014-05-26 03:46:39

Thanks rh for the encouragement, yes I will surely consider son-rise. We are planning to move soon, will be planning for the program as we settle down in the new place.

Former member 2014-05-26 08:39:57

@qass-- i am not promoting son rise, infact it is just vice versa dear

qass 2014-05-26 10:55:15

just realized i misread. Our ABA programme has been good so far. I agree that the ABA team and program is the primary intervenion for kids on the spectrum. But nothin g is really enough for our kids right? .. I hear of hyper baric therapy and chelation and things like that that sound scary and promise results. I dont want to do such things at all.

But Son-rise is just what a behavior oriented program and sounded harmless.. I was goiing to attend their half day program in Santa clara about what their program is and then decide. Do you have any specific experience with the program that might be useful to others? Because too many people have recommended this program already.

UdayVee 2014-06-12 11:12:33

Hello ThePinkDad,
I glad you have decided to stay back in US,we are also in same situation as yours, till struggling between US and India, I have a 5 year old son, who is receiving speech, OT, ABA here, I am not sure how can we cope up in India. This forum your post is been very useful.

UdayVee 2014-06-14 00:44:54

Thanks Raji, I've heard therapy cost is cheaper but how good is the quality of therapy , just concerned about it :(. Also, school is the biggest problem , do you think he will get adjusted to the school ? Are there any good schools for children with special needs?

ashu07 2014-06-14 13:09:37

hi Udayvee
Of course school is a big problem.. but now some of the schools taking special kids deens academy, euro school etc.. you can get quality therapies too

UdayVee 2014-06-14 16:28:55

Good to know, Thanks ashu07!!

indiapk007 2015-01-13 11:30:43

Hello Thepinkdad , Did you finally decide to stay in the USA , we have a daughter 3 year 6 months, we are also thinking to relocate from India - could you give your contact details so we can share some experience

Thanks

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