Some more experiences

5 replies, Page 1

tanujaravi 2011-08-26 21:29:39

 

Dear All,

I tried to arrange play date last year with a friend of mine  whose son is of my son's age but  it never worked out  though I tried my level best to work it out. They were mean to us.

In my neighbourhood kids are not friendly to my son they think that they are the smartest and look down upon him so even my son doesn't like playing with them.

He is my only child so in the house also he has no kids to play with him which is negative point about nuclear family.I cannot give him another sibling because I am getting older and I scare to take risk on this.

Nowadays life is hectic for everybody hence my relatives are busy and I can meet them only  when they are free and moreover they are not staying close by also so that I can make my son play with my relatives kids at least.

How can I help my kid to play and enjoy his childhood?It is the most challenging part and I need professional help  who will train me on how to develolp his social skills.I am confused and worried. Hope god is listening to me and sends a  lifetime true friend for him.I just want my child to enjoy his childhood just as we did.

His play is in the form of lining  toys or spinning toys.He is crazy about toy autos.

Play fosters lot of development in children like sharing, waiting, problem solving, Language, keeps the brain active etc.hence I am worried and I want my child to play right for his benefit.

He is intelligent but being intelligent is not enough when it comes to real life you need to apply your intelligence and common sense in day to day life but  our childrens brain makes these things difficult for them.They find it difficult to make friends because they don't know how to do it but they want friends.They can't comprehend all instructions which may be twisted.They take everything that is said to be true.They don't understand jokes, sarcastic remarks, they don't understand others people emotions through their face gestures etc and the irony is inspite of all this  they have to live in a world which is  alien.

Even if  I take him to parks he will play  swing  and  slides for hours  which  he loves the most  instead of playing with others kids in the park.

He doesn't understand that he needs to make friendship  to have friends.He needs to talk to other kids to have friends. He cries sometimes that he wants friends.Even in the school he has no friends and he is the odd person in the group though he is liked by his school friends since he is very helpful and good.He  simply sits quietly and does whatever he has been asked to do by his teachers.His school friends talk only when they need him.

If  I tried bringing kids at home to play with him the kids are more interested in playing with my son's toys rather than my son , again my son is left playing on his own.

It is such a irony to know that my son who is soft, innocent, good , helpful , harmless,loving , caring has no friends who care to play with him.

Friends please help me in givng tips and ideas as to how to arrange play dates for my son in the above conditions.I  have already read articles on play dates in this forum.I really want my son to have  friends and play with them.

 

Regards
Tanuja

 


yeskumar 2011-08-31 08:00:07

 

 

 

 

 

Schools  training borderline disabilities provide enough play time in week days...they also arrange small competions every week like filling water in a bottle...doing  make-up by their own..eating a bun..so they have enough entertainment in schools..

In week-end we can take them to public places..really they enjoy outing...and having fun..they remember it and remind us next week to take them to same place...

Main aim of such Schools is to enroll kids with moderate disabilities,special educate them and refer them to normal schools..

regards..

 

 

yeskumar 2011-08-31 08:22:37

 

 

 

..you can join him in drawing, art and craft classes..he may enoy them..and spend time usefully

rgrds..

 

VL 2011-09-01 09:33:19

 

yeskumar,

  can you give the names of the such schools in chennai? do they do any special classes in  the weekends also

 


yeskumar 2011-09-01 23:54:34

 

VL,

 

 

 

I am not familiar with Special schools at Chennai...Most of  special schools are functioning as an Orphanages or day  care centers.Some Schools make a mistake by accomodating  kids from mild  to severe category   in a single class.They dont compel Mothers to accompany with kids to school.We can hardly expect progress in kids going to such schools..

Only very few Special schools  follow strict norms.Here kids will be grouped with respect to their defect and intelligence level..students will be at various ages,but nearly equal in intelligence ,in a particular class.Mothers sholud accompany their wards..daily or alternate days..or once in three days..depending upon the severity .Fathers must give a monthly report abt their expectations and achievments by their wards...Much importance will be given to field trips and extra-curricular activities...and so on...

you can consider these aspects while choosing a Special school..

 

 

tanujaravi 2011-09-02 10:50:28

 

Dear All,

Happy Ganesh Chaturthi to all of you and your families.May  Lord Ganesha shower his blessings on all of us always.

Yeshkumar,  In Bangalore I am not familiar with school  training borderline  disabilities.I don't think it is there.There are  special schools but  I have not heard of schools for moderate disabilities where they give training and held different  competitions.

Friends any of you in this forum are aware of  such schools  in Bangalore kindly give me  contact details of the same?

My son goes to a main stream school and he learns whatever is taught to the whole class.They have resource room but they don't organise competitions weekly and train special children for the same.The resource room helps only in the learning difficulties of the children.

The idea is good if it is implemented and  it will give our children an opportunity to socialise.

He is not willing and comfortable to go to any classes.He tells me to teach and I don't know how many things I am supposed to teach since I.C.S.E syllabus for class 3 itself demands a lot of study  time, and efforts from both of us.

Since he loves music I try to put put in music classes where they teach karnataka classical  but  we went  hardly  for 2 to 3  days and he was not co-operating  hence the teacher said that he is not ready for it now , maybe you can bring him after 2 years when he grows older and is ready for it. He tells that he has music class in his school and he wants his school  music teacher to teach him music and onone else should teach him music.

He fears walking on the road a lot  though we have not met with any accident for which he needs to fear.On sat and sunday we go out for shopping in our car.He is afraid of vehicles on the road.He goes by van to school. His van comes into our apartment  for pick up and drop.I leave him in the morning till the van  and in the afternoon he comes on his own from this year.

He has lot of fear like fear of vehicles, fear of teachers, fear of punishment.. We go to the parks but he only plays swing and slide as he likes it the most nor  he needs to interact with other kids.He is child with low self - esteem because of peer pressure who tell him that he is dull and he doesn't know anything.At home I try to encourage him  a lot to boost his self -esteem. He plays with us at home and  he tells us that he likes to play at home and  he doesn't like to play outside.His father tells him let us play cricket outside but he insists to play at home , so they play cricket , cycling too at home only .We try to explain him that games like cricket are outdoor games and he will enjoy more if he plays outside but he is not ready to listen.

He  gets cold and cough  frequently since his immunity to Bangalore weather is low.Even I get the same frequently.

Nowadays the climate is also very bad  there are four seasons in a day itself hence  more and more people are falling sick and the doctor's clinic is crowded.

Maintaining balance of  all the above is becoming difficult and challenging. My throat is sore most of the time because of constant talking and teaching to my kid , telling him stories  etc . My husband hardly gets time with the family so he can't do it. I am trying to manage things to the best of my ability.

Regards

Tanuja

 

 

 

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