I have been reading discussions on this website for quite some time now, and have always liked your responses. I am sure many parents would be benefitted by your advice, thanks for that.
I too decided to put a question for you since I am worried for my son. My son is 2 years 8 months old. He is a very active and playful child and likes company of other kids. So we started playgroup for him a year back. He used to stay at home for the rest of the time with a maid who used to take care of him, with me around ( I am a working from home mother).
From this month I started a half day daycare for him, which is with the same school where he has been going for a year now. Since he was happily going to school, I did not anticipate much issue with starting daycare since it is extension by only 2 hours. He took around a week to adjust, initially he didn't want to go to daycare, but now he is happy to leave for daycare in the morning.
The issue is that for last few days, he has become more violent, he hits and pushes children while playing in playground, and he will repeat this multiple times, also he will scream and shout at my maid when she tries to just talk to him. He will also shout at some other children in playground. He used to listen to me previously, but now when I ask him to stop, he doesn't care a bit and continues to do the same thing. Even the caretaker at daycare told me that he has the habit for pushing, I do not think he is picking this from someone at daycare, I also watch the link to web camera put at daycare, and do not see kids fighting there.
When he is alone with me, he tries to communicate to me that he hit the other child, and fought with him/her. I tell him calmly that it is not good, he listens at that time. But its again the same when he comes in contact with another child to play.
I am not sure how as parents we should handle this situation and help him adjust to the change.
Could you please advise, I will wait for your suggestions.
before telling the child that he shouldnt hit others, it is important to find out if he is being bullied or hit. being a good boy is not that important when others are not being good to him. there can be many reasons behind his aggression:
- he is not liking something at home (some change etc)
- he is being ignored at school
- he is hit/shouted at by teachers/kids
- someone is bullying him (note that what may not appear as bullying to you may be stressful to the kid)
- he has worms in his little tummy (worms cause aggression many times)
- he is not eating well (his brain needs iron, folic acid, zinc and many other nutrients to feel calm and active)
do some digging and let me know :)
Thanks a lot for your response!
I have been noticing him closely for last few days, I think there are two reasons for his hitting and pushing other kids.
One is that he has developed a sense of insecurity after he has started going to daycare: he pushes any kid who tries to come near to something with which he is playing or who comes in his way while he is moving towards a play object. I think this feeling could have developed since there are limited resources in daycare, and no one is available to give one to one attention, unlike home.
Another reason, I think, could be that his speech development is not very good yet, so he is not able to express his feeling or anger towards other kids in words, and he uses his hands. We have started to talk to him more these days in order to help him talk.
Perhaps, we will have to wait until he learns to live in environment outside home, and I hope this temporary phase passes soon.
Please let me know if you have any other suggestions that we could apply.
Hmmm..Poor speech does lead to behavioral issues. Help him talk as much as possible. Use proper tone, volume, pauses while talking, so that he understands you well.
yes, I will continue giving stress on this part.. Thanks Aanchal! :)