Is this behavior a problem ?

2 replies, Page 1

parichay 2013-06-01 08:57:00


Hi Aanchal,

   My son is as such bright, grasp everything mostly first time. His problem is he is very playful and apart from school/parents, doesn't want to learn from others( my assumption). We have never got any complaint from school and teachers mostly says he should just maintain his standard. I have noticed that when he is not in mood or if somebody is teaching something in group(like any sports), he doesn't focus and will constantsly will be doing something or else( i.e simply circling around ). I have also noticed that if he would have understood first time when somebody says something, the moment things will be repeated in group to make sure everybody in group has got it, he will start doing something. 

         His reading/writing skills are extremely good for his level. But when I narrate any story to him, he will start playing with something or else and when I will say u r not focussing, Am I wasting my efforts? he will immediately repeat whatever I last said and recap everything. But as such its pretty annoying to others when they see he is doing something parallely. Just to quote one ex., me and my neighbor mutually teach my son and her dot during vacations times.  And she also updated me about his attention span problem but also mentioned that he grasp everything very fast and once she told me "How do you  teach him ?".  When I asked my son why do u behave like this ; he says because "Mera mood nahin tha" and once he said I want to learn from you only, not from anybody else.  So, I am kind of forming this opinion that he thinks he should just learn from us or he wants 1-1 attention.   At times, I scold him and says R u ADHD (he knows what does this mean) when I am angry ? he becomes angry and says I do all this when I am not in mood and when I say u r hardly in mood, he says I am in mood in school na ? Do you get any complaint ? Most of his complaints come from all extra curricular activities. Infact, once I asked his class teacher and her reply was he is not destructive, he is distracted and don't worry he will become ok with age. Boys of his age are like this(this was when he was 5+). His first grade teacher said, he knows everything I ask in class.


    At times, I have suggested my husband to consult somebody but he always says "don't level him and its your problem. He is a bright boy and he doesn't like anybody repeating same thing again and again when he has grasped that thing in first go".   And my other family members are also of the opinion that he is beyond his age in learning but  you guys treat him like baby, hence he behaves like this. BTW, he is exactly 7 years old ( single child)and  brought up among 4 elders(my in-laws and for them also he is kind of only grandson).  

    Do you think its common for children to behave like this ? or indicates some behavioral issues ?

aanchal 2013-06-01 21:43:05


asking a child, "are you ADHD?" doesnt seem fair at all. dont do this.

there are children who listen but do not focus, and they are intelligent enough to pick up only by listening. problems they face:

  1. the teacher finds it very annoying (as you mentioned too)
  2. they do parallel activities which distracts other children
  3. the activities that require visual processes are partially/not grasped
  4. writing becomes a very difficult task, as writing cannot be done without looking.

your anger can never make him focus. on the contrary, it may repel him all the more.

you need to do visual activities to help him synthesize his cognitive-visual-motor processes.

i will PM you links to my blogs for certain ideas on activities


parichay 2013-06-01 22:45:14


I know, I am wrong when I say so to him. But when I see he has so much potential but doesn't co-operate with him then I really loose my patience. I am working and hence have very limited time and I am of a kind who doesn't want to waste that precious time doing something else.  As such he writes very good stories for his age and once he starts writing, he is totally focussed but coming to that stage is half of the time difficult.

Thanks Aanchal for your wonderful advice, will see what can I implement from those activities.



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