We moved from outside India into Gurgaon to look after our parents who needed support. That was about 2 years ago
Our 13 year old son is a sensitive soft spoken child and while we got him to a very reputed school here with low child teacher ratios, better facilities etc, he is struggling as all his class fellows in school and neighorhood kids are extremeley aggressive in their langugage and pushing/pulling/hitting each other playfully is very common which he doesnt engage in nor does he like. As a result he frequently is targeted in these places and complaints to teacher or school apparently is only making matters worse
Its now hurting his self esteem and confidence and he constantly asks us to go back which given our other obligations, we cannot do
He now avoids going out to play in the evenings and sits in class reading a book during school lunch breaks. Avoiding other children completely because he is unable to find children who behave mildly or non-physically. Given he is soft spoken, he is often ignored in group conversations and not invited in team sports. He is feeling rejected and left out completely
We are trying to find activities for him in the evening to keep him busy but i am not sure avoiding the sorroudings is an option. While we can afford to send him to boarding schools or schools like TISB in Bangalore, we are not sure the separation from us at this stage of his life is going to do him much good either
What do you suggest ?
when a child is going through this kind of bad phase, hostel shouldnt be considered. it will make him feel worse.
all good parents teach their children to be good. but sometimes i feel, we carry it too far without realizing. we teach our children not to misbehave, not to hit, not to shout, not to touch toys without asking and so on. a lot of such coaching, may make them a little timid.
i am not saying that this is the case here.
perhaps, what u need to give him is the required set of skills to survive in the world. if he is a sweet child, it's a good trait as such. but when it start affecting his social skills, and hasnt let him adjust with his peers after 2 years of time, it's not a very good trait to stick to. he needs to learn to react, if not initiate. he needs to learn to defend himself, if not offend others.
in your case, your son experienced a cultural shock. he also came into a complex family situation. he was at the threshold of puberty when all this happened. he must have experienced great difficulty then. how did u handle all this at that point of time?
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