Hitting and attention seeking behaviour

2 replies, Page 1

new2mumbai 2013-04-15 15:24:56

 

 Hi,

 

I have a 2 and a half year old son. He is pretty outgoing and loves sports. My worry is that he gets violent at times and resolves to hitting as fun or when angry or even to gain attention. Me and my husband have tried to control it to a great deal and it has reduced to a level. But he still hits. Being our first born he wants attention all the time and does'nt allow us to do anything on our own, be it cooking, watching tv, reading a book or anything. He simply does'nt allow us to do any task and demands attention all the time. This has started taking a toll on our life and relationship. Is all this normal. How can i encourage him to play on his own for sometime and make him accept that mommy and daddy have other things to do apart from being around and playing with him. And also reduce his hitting habit.

thanks



aanchal 2013-04-19 10:13:08

 

2 year old ones are not called pint sized teenagers for nothing!!

psychologically, this is the anal phase of development. they go through many changes. they are neither fully dependent babies not developed children. they struggle between dependence vs independence. there is a tug of war that they feel all the time. it's a very delicate phase, which needs to be handled gently and patiently. any scar developed in this phase may affect the next step (going to preschool.)

i understand about needing time and space for yourself. couple of suggestions:

  • give him a 'cooking chore' in kitchen, while you are cooking or ask him to hand out clothes from the bucket when you are drying clothes
  • basic idea is to engage him in your work, so that he doesnt feel left out (children do not know that you are 'working', they feel you are playing with those dishes, vegetables or washing machine. and they dont want you to have all the fun)
  • dont try to finish your household chores when he is sleeping
  • use his nap time for your hobbies, social calls etc
  • request your hubby to take him to a park while you can relax

he is too small to understand that his mommy and daddy have other things that are very impotant (he will feel others are more important to you than him). at this age, you are his world. he cannot digest the idea that he is not your world. (you know he is your world but he cannot understand this at the idea level). that's why he cannot bear being left out.

in fact, his hitting will increase if he feels ignored (you may not be neglecting at all, but it's all about how he is perceiving)

check out http://learningstations.blogspot.in/2013/01/creative-activities-for-small-kids.html

 

new2mumbai 2013-04-19 17:37:32

 

 thanks a million...what you said makes a lot of sense...it helps me understand him better.

 

 

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