how to take care of 10 years son

12 replies, Page 1

jl 2012-12-11 13:32:44




My son is in 4th std  his behaviour is different from other boys of his same age. always he likes to watch tv. he failed his exams in 2 subjects and not  showing interest in studies  i think so. sometimes he sits till 12'0 clock night to complete his homework and sometime wont.. He will make  lot of noise at home  while playing and that makes disturbance  to others. If we say not to do and beat him , he return beats me and his father also and shouts at us very loudly . we said him we will join him in  hostel he is ready to join there also. i am scared to join him in hostel  because he wont eat spicy and all vegetables also , he wont get up early and go to bed early. if we visit to relatives house he will search here and there and take out things and try remove the parts or to do some thing withthat. I am fed up with his behaviour and dont know what to do?????

Because of that not able to concentrate on job.




aanchal 2012-12-11 14:33:07


its quite serious and worrying.

first of all, stop beating/threatening your child. and please consult a psychotherapist or a psychiatrist ASAP.


jl 2012-12-11 14:48:19


really its serious,

can u suggest psychotherapist or a psychiatrist  in hyderabad


aanchal 2012-12-11 18:22:28


sorry, dont know personally. please ask another parentree member mickey. she will know someone in hyderabad. send her a message.


Artibt 2013-04-03 16:01:52


 Hi Aanchal

I am new to this forum and trust me all the posts are so helpful. I really appreciate your efforts.

I have a 9 year old son. He is a balanced child but a lil restless. He has started scoring less in exams, though he worked hard, revised everything 2 to 3 times. Verbally he answers everything correct even when I give him test papers at home he does it almost 100% correct. My worry is, he score less in the examination. I am not able to make out as to what is not going right. He is very active in sports very social. Sometimes he does have his mood swings but over all a jolly boy. 

I am really worried and don know what should I do. Kindly guide me.




aanchal 2013-04-03 20:43:02


Arti: this seems like performance anxiety. he is either not writing much in exams for the fear of being wrong (the written text is a proof of mistakes), or he is getting blank under the pressure of the word 'exams'.

have you tried talking to him about this? are you showing frustration after he gets his report card ("you do so well at home, what happnes in school?" etc)? have you been able to be that anchor, that he needs to sail through this problem or have you become yet another person to nag/complain?

how does he do when he has to perform on stage? how does he behave in birthday party games? how does he respond when guests/hosts ask him to sing/dance/recite something? how are other children of his class doing? do you feel that the teacher cuts lot of marks on small mistakes?

just few things i would like to know, to understand your child better.


Artibt 2013-04-04 09:11:11


 Hi Aanchan, thank you so much for your reply.

1. I may be nagging at times, but .

2. His grades are fluctuating, in last exams he got 87 %.

3. One thing I can say that he needs attention, which he is not getting from the teacher.

4. His stage performance, I have seen in the apt only. In his school there they have no stage shows etc. for his class.

5. He is a balanced child, a lil naughty but a well behaved child, very helping and very caring also.

6. About the teacher and the marks I can't say much because we donor get to see the final papers.

Thanks Arti ( would like to meet you in person, with my son, is that posiple?)



aanchal 2013-04-04 11:42:12


when marks are fluctuating, it is more indicative of an internal turmoil, rather than a cognitive/learning deficit. however, many children with very mild learning deficits may perform well in those exams where the concepts are clear to them and not in other exams.

children should be naughty (they are children, not adults). there is a fine line between naughtiness and bad behavior. many times very well behaved children take out their suppressed feelings in academic performance. (not deliberately, though. it's an unconscious phenomenon)

yes, we can meet. but i would like to meet without the child in the first meeting. i prefer not to discuss about behavior and parenting issues in front of the child. i will send you the details.


Artibt 2013-04-04 15:04:21


 thank you so much. 


mdshetty 2014-06-26 20:08:42


HI Aanchan
  I saw your message in parentree , i have a son now  he is 12 years old. he had speech delay  at  the age of 2 years . because of that there were so many complications . At  the age of 7 yrs  in  nimhans they diagnosed him  as ADHD. after starting mph medication we observed a lot of aggression , loss of appetite  , so we stopped the medication . now his improved a lot , but a lot of behavioural problem in school , he disturbs the class environment .i  feel he has some problem  because of that  he can not sit  quietly  in class room.
can you please guide us is there any  doctors or other institution  which can help to improve his ability to control his  behaviour.
  regards   Deviprasad shetty

aanchal 2014-06-27 12:50:20


Poor speech can result into many behavioral and emotional issues, as the child feels frustrated when he cannot express his thoughts/ideas well. he starts acting out his words. this may make him hyperactive, aggressive, dull, defiant, asocial thus affecting his academic performance too.
Medications for ADHD have their own side-effects and many children respond poorly to them. if the medicine is lowering the child's activity level(by making the child dull), then it may frustrate the child even further as he is now unable to express even physically.
To make the matters worse, you child is now a teenager. many hormonal/physical/psychological changes must be affecting him.
If you are in Bangalore, I can see you for a session (without the child). Let me know. You may write me a mail at


Kunapuli 2014-08-06 15:36:58


Hi Aanchal,
Greetings.. We recently moved to Blr.. I would like to get your guidance in bringing up my 10yr. old son..Some info about him for you.
1. He is intelligent and has good grasping and nothing to worry from academics.He is very emotional atleast about me.
2. but socially, he is not up to his age .. probably even for discipline for that matter.
3. I observed that he is becoming lazy , doent show in studies..also he doesnt gel well in the group ( 60% of the time comes back with complaints.)
4. He is so found of art and can play with playdough for about 1whole day.. All this is okay when he is small.. But now he has grown  and is expected to have the sense of responsibility for his own belonging, chores etc... I am trying to guide him but it is not falling in place.
5. Also he doesnt think of consequences before acting...and slowly developing adamant and negative attitude..
I have seen many of your advises which are helping out so many parents in handling kids. Request you to suggest me some tips to handle such kids... As i am in blr too... i would like to meet you and discuss in detail how i generally handle him. Let me know if it is okay if i can come and meet.
I am counting on your advise in turning him around.


aanchal 2014-08-06 17:08:57


I got your email. I will prefer to meet without the child. Let me know if weekday first half will suit you fine.


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