Making the child confident & open up

1 reply, Page 1

navyanavya 2012-07-04 18:53:16


Hi Anchal,

need your advice for my 5 year old daughter. While she is very talkative with me and my husband, she comes across as very shy in front of other including our relatives. And in true indian tradition, many of them blame it on me - I'm not very outgoing/ouspoken but neither am I an introvert. I would like my daughter to be comfortable with people, speak to them & be confident. Deep inside me Im scared she will end up like me. Would have had no problems about that but I have realised that this world puts extroverts up on a pedestal ! Even in my career ive realised that it is better to know little and speak a lot . I need to know what activities/steps I can take to make my girl face the world confidently. I stay away from my hometown so dont have any realtives/friends who I visit often..

Please advise.

Thanx in advance

aanchal 2012-07-09 23:03:59


though genes have a big role to play, children develop more than 50% of their personality by learning from parents too. sometimes they develop exactly the same persoanlity as parents, and sometimes just the opposite. this basically depends on the kind of bonding parents share with their kids and on the growing experiences of the kids.

i can understand your concerns. you are facing difficulties due to your non-extrovert nature. you know the importance of 'doing less showing more'. you are seeing in the world that those who dont speak for themselves, end up suffering. but you also have to understand that children learn behavior more by "modeling". the philosophy that works with them is "practise what you preach". you may teach her to be social and outspoken, but only to a certain extent. she will see the conflict between what you tell her and what you yourself do. there are many emotional conflicts that she will harbor because of this.

also, children learn as they grow up too..the personality that they may have at the age of 4 may not be there at the age of 7.

i will suggest you not to get very overly anxious about her shy and cautious nature. respect her individuality besides doing your bit to develop her social confidence.

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