This is with regards to my 2.5 year old son...he has since the last couple of montsh developed a habit of hitting other kids, even us and especially biting his mum...this has become more frequent in the last 2-3 weeks, especially when any guests comes to our home....the other issue is that after hitting he starts laughing as if it is nothing! he also starts becoming hyper active(banging his toys, throwing toys) as soon as he sees guests...this issue became worse when we started receiving formal complaints from the day care that he is hitting kids there......we have tried to explain him in a gentle & loving way and then tried to discipline him in a more strict way, after being scolded he tells u that he will not hit next time...but unfortunately he does it again....the one major change that has happened 3 weeks back was that my parents flew back home who were spending a lot of time with him since nearly a year...we have tried to explain to him that they have returned to their hometown and will come back in the near future to spend time with him.....
the other thing he keeps saying when he sees other kids or if we mention other kids - "baby ko zor se maare"....and we ofcourse say no! but he doesnt seem to take any notice of it...aanchal - we would be very grateful if you could let us know how best to respond to him...
at 2.5 a child goes through a lot of internal conflicts. if there is any other loss, threat that happens in life at this stage, it gets quite difficult for the child to handle. i am not very clear about how things have been with him before this hitting habit started, but i will try to give some general pointers related to your concerns.
whenever there is some loss that a child faces, parents shouldnt rationalize it by giving reasons and logics. parents find it difficult to face child's sadness, so they try to cheer him up. but that makes the child feel that parents are trying to dismiss his sadness. so first thing u need to do is to empathize with the child's feelings after loss of grandparents presence. just tell him u understand how sad he must be feeling, and that he shoudlnt feel ashamed/timid to feel that way. when he finds a vent for his feelings, he will not need to act them out.
when he says in that 'unacceptable' way about other children, do not say anything. just look at him, smile and get back to what u were doing. sometimes kids say such things to irk parents and get attention.
no matter what, do not hit him to tell him to stop hitting others. i know how embarrassing it is for us when our kids hit other children. but then we cannot shout at them/ hit them and ask them to be nice to others. they get confused. they feel how it is ok for us to be not-so-nice and not ok for him for the same thing. they learn less from what we preach and more from what we do. so it is very important that we behave in the way we want our children to.
last, on-the-spot-management..when he hits and laughs, just tell him its not nice to hit anyone and divert his attention. try not to show your frustration/anger/annoyance/embarrassment, so that there is no external influence on him.
let me know if this helps
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