5 replies, Page 1

firsttimemommy 2012-05-29 14:39:10


Hello Aanchal, my 2.9 yr daughter stays with her grandparents when I am in office. When I am not around, she plays with them and enjoys their company. but when I am around, she doesn't even let them touch her, doesn't play with them...She always wants me. My in-laws are extremely caring towards her.  They play with her for full day (approx 10 hrs). In fact, they take more care towards her than us.

She asks them to go away from our room, doesnt let them play with her. They get upset with her behaviour but dont show it to her, never scold her.  

Even she loves them. When they are not around her, she keeps asking abt them. But why does she behave differently when I am around? She asks me to do all of her tasks like let her have bath etc. When I tell her that granny will help u in bath, she says 'No, let mamma do that work'. Basically I am getting tired with both office work and her tasks.

Is this a phase? pls advice


aanchal 2012-06-09 18:15:25


she misses you when u ar at work..its just that !! so she, from her side, is trying to compensate by making you do everything for her when she is with u. she is too small to understand that its overtaxing for u.

u need to be more careful about grandparents though. they shouldnt feel rejected by the child in your presence. they will feel less bad if they know you understand how much they are doing for the child the whole day.

tell you child u acknowledge how much she misses you and thats why she does/says this way. when feelings are discussed more, they are acted out less.


firsttimemommy 2012-06-12 10:02:31


Thanks Aanchal.
What is the general attention span of 3yr kids?
My daughter doesn't work an any activity for more than 5 or 10 mins. I
got her drawing and painting books. She paints or draws for abt say 5 mins and then she
is not interested. She asks me to do that.
Previously she used to sing rhymes for the full day. Now even if we ask her, she says
she don't remember. Even if we sing, she is not interested in listening.
It was my mistake to tell her 'Have you forgotten the rhyme?'. Now whenver I ask her, she says I don't seem to remember the songs.
But I know she has good memory. She remembers things that has happened long back and explains as if it has happened now.
The only thing she is interested now is to talk, talk and talk..and sometimes she wants to lie on the floor all the time.
is it that she is getting bored at home? or she has lack of energy? She sleeps a bit more compared to her peers.

She knows what is right, what is wrong. She keeps telling me 'I should not say no to everything right?',
'I should behave well with everyone' and then when someone comes near her, she shouts at them and says 'dont touch me'.
After they leave her, she keeps asking abt them and says, 'I should not behave like this na?'.
We keep telling her about good habits in gentle manner but it is of no use.

She can't entertain herself. She needs someone all the time and gets bored quickly.
She plays with kids of her age with whom she is acquainted with. but all her little friends are social butterflies.
They keep playing with everyone, not just my daughter. And if she sees her friends playing with someone new, she doesn't go to them
since she is not comfortable with new comers. How can I make her comfortable in such situations?
She was very very active earlier but now as age grew up, because of her shy and introvert nature,
she looks like she is very inactive. In new surroundings, she doesn't even touch any touys even if they are attractive. One way, it is gud for ehr but sometimes i feel
she is missing out on somethings like me because of shy anture. Pls guide me.


aanchal 2012-06-12 15:15:20


generally disciplined children are not social butterflies, and for good reasons. check this link www.parentree.in/groupdiscussion-8686/Soft-docile---sincere-child.html

also check, www.parentree.in/groupdiscussion-6229/How-does-your-child-react-when-hit-by-other-kids-.html

from your post, i do not see any problem in the child..dont worry :)


vijinarsi 2012-06-13 09:30:15


firstimemommy, some of the things that you had metioned about your kid matches with mine (she is 4yrs). like talking all the time, behaviour towards other ie she will go and hug them hard or try to touch their head etc. but after they go when we tell them she will also repeat that she should not do like that.

(She is also taken care by my in-laws but goes to Daycare also)

One more similarity is, she too use keep lying down on the floor often, like even after she wakes up from a good night sleep within 10 mins of waking also she will come and lay down.. she use to exhibit lethargy but on the other hand she is also a hyperactive child in the sense she will always be upto some naughtiness like climbing on something, picking something from almarah, fridge by pullling the chair (she will not even wait for us)

Just a thought.. have u checked her heamoglobin (Iron) level. Just incase they have some iron def also due to lack of energy they could be like that. My kid is bit on Hb so i thought that could be reason so trying to give her iron rich food (also i cant give her everything as she has some food restriction). I didnt notice this laying down for last few days and her school has began and she is kind of doing fine for this part.






firsttimemommy 2012-06-13 17:23:15


Thanks Aanchal and Vijinarsi. Probably once the pre-school starts, she'll be fine 



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