hi Aanchal

4 replies, Page 1

debbi 2012-05-09 22:53:56


My daughter who is 3.9yrs old is very talkative, playful and understanding. The only 1 thing I have unable to train is - for each and every small thing she keeps saying "Mummy...see this...." if the maid touches her or talks to her; or sometimes when her grandmother does something different than the usual; when a guest comes with a child - she plays and shares her toys but if the child touches something else....

I feel very irritated sometimes....just don't know how to change this attitude or habit....please do help out

aanchal 2012-05-11 12:56:03


i dont see any problem here. all children have some or the other way of showing, sharing, complaining, to/with their parents.

do not show your irritation when she does this. she might get confused as to why it should annoy you. she is too young to understand the refined social manners. what you may do is see what she is showing and then deal with a 'nothing-special/wrong-about-it' attitude.

why she is doing this is more important to find out, if at all you feel it is not a small thing and needs to be dealt with urgently.


debbi 2012-05-11 22:09:01



For example the other day - a friend of ours visiting with her 1yr old kid...she shared her toys with her...when the child moved on to touch her small purse or something on the TV stand or anything else...she would start off.. "Mummy...see the baby is touching that ...taking this....".

I tried my best to explain to her that she is a baby who does not know and is exploring...then she was fine...but for each and every thing she would say...see the baby is doing this, that....

I feel she expects the same way that she does or behave - the other child or person should also follow by default. She is a well behaved child like in this case when we visit someone else home she does not go and explore other than the things she has been given if she does she asks them and goes ahead....

I feel she is not able to socialize so well with other kids when they are at our home as she has that expectation...

As you say currently follow without getting irritated...try to explain her...'nothing wrong about it....'


aanchal 2012-05-13 08:42:38


may be she feels too hesitant and inhibited at others' house. children who are too strictly disciplined on manners often become disciplinarian themselves, as they have learnt "good manners" to be the way of life.

so you need to see if you are always egging her not to touch, shout, take, ask, throw etc when you are at someone else's house with her. she will relax if you do too. you will just have to say "its ok" when she is complaining to you. i feel you are quite anxious about her social manners, and that her complaining attitude is due to this.

if i am wrong here and you are not too strict (strictness doesnt mean punitive only, too much of teaching good manners is also a part of strict parenting), then may be she has learnt it from somewhere else.


debbi 2012-05-15 16:41:45



Not strict just the basic manners, and if the host is comfortable I do not control - let her explore.

She prefers to follow the same practice or routine - as we teach her the first time or the way she learns it elsewhere.

Will follow the "Its OK"...a little more months and years...would change her



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