Hello Aanchal

4 replies, Page 1

firsttimemommy 2012-03-09 19:13:36


Hi Aanchal, my daughter has been gng to daycare for the apst 6 months. She ahs adjsuted to that environment very well. And she wants to go there everyday. But for the past 3 days, it seems she has been crying intermittently at daycare. At home she is fine.  She is toilet trained during daytime for the past 1 yr. but all of a sudden, she started peeing her pants at daycare. her caretakers are also concerned abt her new behaviour.

I have been trying to ask her but she says she is fine. Probably she is unable to express her feelings. while gng to daycare in the mrng, she seems to be quite happy but I dont seem to understand whts happening to ehr after gng there.

It seems few new caretakers and new kids have joined in her nursery.

Will that be a reason for her crankiness and peeing? How should I console her? how would I come to know the reason? She hates to pee in her pants when she is awake. Even during nights, she dislikes wearing diaper but for the past few days, she is insisting in wearing diapers. I am concerned about her new behaviour. Can you pls advice?

aanchal 2012-03-09 20:33:40


see, sudden change in behavior at school has generally to do with some new experience in the life of the child. like you said there are few new teachers and few new kids. may be the presence of new people has thretened her idea of familiarity. may be some new kid is peeing in her pants a lot because of which teachers give her more attention than to rest of the kids (which unconsciously  has been picked up by your daughter as a tool to get attention by the teachers). may be some new kid is bullying her. may be the class-strength has reached beyond her level of comfort because of new joinees.

there could be many more reasons. the best way to deal with the situation is to gently acknowledge and accept her anxieties, without probing a lot into her day spent at home. dont bombard her with questions like do u like the school? u used to like the school so much, whats wrong now? is someone bothering you? do u like the new kids? how is the new teacher with you? do u participate in the activities? why do u wet the pants there? and so on and on. you may simply tell her this way, " there is something about the school that you are not very comfortable with these days. and it seems you dont know clearly either as to what is bothering you. its like one part of you wants to go to school, while one part is not very happy there. its ok to feel this way. i just want to tell you that i love you and i am sure we can work it out together" (dont mention anything about causes and effects here)

said in a slow, gentle, sympathetic way, this form of communication is not bound by age for comprehension. during crisis,  all that a small child wants from her parents is an intention to hear, be there and reassure.

i am sure its a passing phase and with your gentle approach, she will sail through.


firsttimemommy 2012-03-09 21:29:53


Thanks Aanchal for your advice. I'll act as per your suggestions. Hope to see some improvements in her soon.


jl 2012-06-15 11:23:07


Hi Aanchal,

I having typical problem with my son of 9 yrs .

He wont get up early in the morning. I me and my H says anything  he shouts at us very loudly and he talks also loud. If we ask him to say slow he say u both are talking loud then why should i ? But infact  i tals with low voice his father increases his tone when he wont respond properly.  sometimes he behaves like so obedient and very nice , but sometimes he wont cares us .By seeing him my daughter 2.5 yrs also started like that only . i am totally confused wat to do regarding his behaviour.




aanchal 2012-06-15 20:17:42


JL, seems like some internal conflict your child has. please check this www.parentree.in/groupdiscussion-2784/stress-in-children-and-how-to-overcome-it.html



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