u r in a rough sea, saki..having a 2 year old hyperactive kid can be the most frustrating job on hand..this age brings lot of dilemnas in a child, thus making him very aggressive. he strives for independence, but fears it at the same time..its called rapproachment..the ambivalence the child feels is reflected in his behavior as well.. he will want a toffee, and then not want it..then he will cry for something else and reject it yet again..he will cry and not know why..nothing pacifies him..and that frustrates the mother beyond limits.
there are many things here, that are important..i will try to frame them in points:
1) be consistent..if u dont give chocolates the first thing in the morning, then do not give, no matter how much the child cries. by crying for something that is a no-no, the child tests the mother's limits and her ability to stick to her guns. though he cries, but seeing her not budging gives him lot of relief also, that she can be trusted upon, that she does what she says..inconsistent behavior from your side can confuse and frustrate yr child a lot
2)use distractions..when a child is crying for that 6.00 a.m. chocolate, he is not in a mood to listen to adult logic of tooth-decay, intestinal worms and so on. its safer and better to distract him than to repeatedly say NO. if its very frustrating for u, just leave the child for a couple of minutes, regain yr composure and try again to distract.
3) hug, kiss, touch and talk..more often than not, children cry unreasonably coz they want attention. get down on yr knees, make eye contact, stroke him, kiss him, hug him and tell him 'i love u' 10 times..then tell him naughtily and with some drama that u feel dizzy and cant hear a thing when he whines in that nasal pitch..that u would be able to listen better and comply more if he talks without whining (it has worked for my 2year old!)
4) give outlet..have pillow fights with yr kids, run with them in a park, have a screaming contest, dance together..believe me, it will do more wonders to u than to yr kids..tire them out so that they r too pooped to whine ;)
5) deworm..very often the intestinal worms make a child hyper, cranky, unreasonable and irritable..deworm him regularly.
if u have a support system to take care of kids for a while during the day, join something..anything u like..yoga, aerobics, swimming, guitar, kitty-party, art-craft..dont pay attention to remarks like 'act yr age'