Is inclusive environment with intervention necessary for a child with special needs? - Page 1

My 9 year old son who is studying in class 4th ( I.C.S.E ) has PDD Needs.Just for info.  For  4th class , I.C.S.E,   nowadays sometimes the teacher dictates notes and sometimes she writes on the board.Even the instructions given is not clear and specific  which of course is the demand of the syllabus and the grade  but my son with special needs is finding it difficult to follow the instructions of the teacher.His new class teacher has started a rotation system of sitting wherein everyday she changes the place of students but  with same neighbouring friends . Only their place changes and not friends.Yesterday the class teacher made him sit in the last bench and he had tough time completing his class work. He could not see the Black board properly , and understanding  instructions of the teachers by reading between the lines also was difficult and he could not complete his c.w and it was a mess. When he told his teacher that he could not see the board the teacher said that he needs to manage it for a day , since again his place of sitting is  going to change tommorrow.  Prior to this above incidence  I spoke to his class teacher just to know his new class teacher and to make her aware of  my son's needs. She said that I should not be analytical , nor judgemental, and forget about his problem and stop over- protecting him.  I told her  treating a child like any other child is good but it is necessary to adopt to his problems . You cannot neglect his problems and expect the child to perform like any other  NT child in his class.Her reaction has created lot of queries in my mind and  I request all including professionals to pitch in and give their valuable views and comments so that we know What is right. and it benefits all the parents and children with special needs.  I am writing this with a open mind and  I don't want to prove that I am right  but I definately want to know what is right. Also I am sharing this to let other  parents of special needs know that we are also having our own share of problems.  Can a mental barrier in a child get overcomed just by keeping him in a normal or inclusive environment without intervention. As per the teachers school of thought they  are giving him opportunities to grow like any other child by overlooking his special needs and making him do things outside his comfort zone and as per them I as a mother needs to be blamed for being over worried, analytical and over protective about him.I feel as a mother I am being critical or analytical about my child only to improve him further and not to put him down. I am his mother and I love him very  much.How on earth would I not want my child to progress in life ? and as  a mother I don't  love my son blindly and I have always being unbaised and not pampered him too much though he is my only child.I have been a strict mother to him also whenever it is required .I told the class teacher that I explain him each and everything that is taught in class only after ensuring that he has really not understood the chapter.I only substitute whatever is missing.The teacher felt that I was analytical and judging the child. I felt that her conclusions  are based on the fact that academically the child is performing very well but her mother is a nagging type who complains about the child simply.My son is performing very well in academics for the last four years because of the hard efforts taken by his mother at home giving him full  attention but in school teacher can't give so much of personal attention to a single child amidst 41 children in a class. In a competitive world nowadays his  school friends also give us excuses for not wanting to share their notes or help us. With great difficulty we are managing. One school of  thought says that a child with mental deficits need to be kept in a inclusive environment without intrevention and made to do things like any other child so that we can break the mental barrier or make him come out of his comfort zone and do things like any other NT child. The other school of thought which is my thought too says that definately a child should be in an inclusive environment but he needs to be given the required help or his problems need to be adapted in order to boost his self - confidence and slowly and steadily  make him come out of his comfort zone   in a balanced way  without taxing him mentally too much. Friends Which school of thought do you agree and why ?  Kindly reply  as soon as possible.  RegardsTanuja  

Hi Tanuja,

U r aware of the issues Iam dealing..as we have been writing to each other...I perfectly understand ur emotions as a mother as Iam sailing in the same boat...These queries arise in my mind v v often and Iam  convincing myself that I have done the best for my child....

My child goes to a CBSE school .He is Std 1..Earlier the school was only half day..but now its full day school..Initially I was v v worried abt the events of the day...I had even written to u abt my feelings.....Till I realised that U cant do much apart frm worrying....I believe if the child is in mainstream there are more opportunities for the child to learn frm other children...Of course,they need help..I had made myself v v clear to the teacher on the v first day...I had told her that he is a speech delayed kid..he will require indivisual attention...Teacher patiently heard wat I had to say,and the first 15 days went off smoothly....Now she says he is restless,not concentrating,needs help to write..and the list goes on....

So basically as a mother,I feel if the teacher is willing to put in some effort frm her side...Wen I say efforts,its only on areas in which help needs to be offered...We are not demanding spoon feeding of children...All that I want to say is my child may not be independent in all issues like other same age kids...so will need support n guidance......I met the teacher recently n told her wat I had to say....How much she agrees is left to her...I personally feel children with developmental delays shud be in the mainstream..This is my indivisual opinion...They wud have to do certain things they dont like or dont believe in...But in life too not everything happens as we wish...We have to just go with the flow...

But I sincerely wish the society which includes parents, teachers,grandparents n everyone connected directly or indirectly with the child understands that support in certain issues would be welcome...Instead of saying that we mothers r unduly worried for our kids,they wud rather try to understand the core of the issue!The only problem is this is not happenning...Teachers love only obedient kids who never trouble them....No one is willing to extend that helping hand....Apart frm the parents...and wen others see this hand they name it being anxious n over worried ...If probably they were in our shoes they wud have realised how traumatic its for parents like us to decide n choose for our children.....

Lastly I wud like to mention that I can relate to each n every word u have written...I just felt like replying to this post...U may not have got a concrete answer frm me..But I have told u what I feel and what I have been experiencing.....

it is very sad to hear about teacher's apathy. to answer to your query, i agree with the second view when it comes to children with developmental/learning delays.

i often come across parents who are not willing to take the required help for their kids, as they fear the child "getting dependent on the support forever". this is not true. when there is a fracture, we need a plaster. we do not NOT use the plaster fearing our dependence on it forever. we need it to heal the wound. not a very reassuring analogy here, but in a very similar way, if my child needs help of a certain kind, i cannot shrug it off and continue to treat him like "a normal child" thinking that by treating him like a normal child, he is one of "them".

also, there is a lot of misconception about "treat him like a normal child". what does it mean? even in the case of so to say normal children, dont we put a band-aid when there is an injury? dont we put him in tuition classes when we dont have time/capability to do it ourselves? dont we keep him at home when he has a fever? in such situations and conditions, we are giving extra facilities to him. we are treating him specially. so why is there a barrier in our mind when it comes to children with certain special needs? why cant we treat them specially? why cant we provide what they need to come at par with their peers?

give what he needs..this should be followed (now of course, many may interpret this in twisted way, that what if he wants to watch 3 hours of TV, what if he wants to give up studying etc etc. ).. i think i should say, give what he really really needs(and not what he desires). if he has dysgraphia and needs a writer in his exams, give him, as you want to see how much he knows, and not how much he can write..if he has poor concentration and needs 1-1 attention, give him, as you want to see how much he can learn in 1:1 and not how much he gets distracted in a 1:12 ratio

our systems have a long way to go..to sentisitize the teachers, to educate the parents, to teach the children.

Dear Neethi and Aanchal,

Thanks a lot for your excellent inputs.

Neethi thanks for writing what you felt because we all sail in the same boat and only  by sharing what  we as parents are going through we can help and support each other emotionally.

Regards

Tanuja

Hi,

I am new to this blog and also to ASD .

I strongly support if any child (either with special need or NT) need any kind of support in school must be provided by the teacher/staff/collegues.There are many normal kids also who are not good in studies teachers help them then y they are doing this behaviour to our kids, it's just becoz they are labelled.

In fact other children in class should also be encouraged to help kids who need them.Life is very long to make them fully independent, not supporting a child in 4th class by saying mother is extremely worried in my opinion is not correct.

I feel you must talk to the teacher again and keep your view point, otherwise what I feel is if our kids wont like the class /teacher, they will not able to cope up further and that lagging can increase further.

Right now they need all positive support and lots of encouragement to learn .

All the best.

Dear  mylilson,

Thanks for your inputs and I totally agree with u.

Regards

Tanuja

Dear All,

Thanks for all those excellent suggestions that gave me insight into what is right.

My son spoke for himself after scripting him for the same and now He is sitting in the first bench.I am happy that the teacher finally accommodated him and we have crossed one small hurdle without the need to approach the principal.He told her that she should not rotate his place and she agreed.

Regards
Tanuja
 

hi everyone .. i am new to parentree and i found the discussion very encouraging. i have a 5 yr old son on the spectrum and my husband has recently been transferred to hyderabad.. right now we r in delhi.. and his ot and sp. ed. are going on. can anyone suggest if i should shift to hyderabad? how are the facilities there?.. in delhi the distances are mindboggling and the schools are very competitive...many of them refuse pointblank citing reasons like lack of facilities and some who agree want the child to be kept separately from the regular kids although he has no behavioural issues except hand flapping. the therapists are also money minded and sincerity and dedication is surely lacking though they are knowledgeable and well informed. i have been to hyderabad and i liked the weather and simplicity of the people there.. what should i do? is hyderabad a good option? please advise somebody!!!!!!!!!!

panna,

Hyderabad has many ngos. It definitely seems to be a good option. But I am really sad on hearing about your situation in delhi-- Are these special schools/integrated schools??. I have a friend who is in hyderabad now who has a special kid. If you are interested I can ask her which school she is sending her kid to.

hi NJ

I am so grateful for your reply. Presently my son is going to the special wing of Billabong High Noida. It is called sanchetna. they have small groups of six attended by a special educator. However they do not make any attempt to mix these kids with the regular school kids in the main building.. sometime s i wonder that probably i do not understand what integration means. does it mean that the child is kept separately and only when he becomes academically equal to the regular kids that he can be put in a regular class of 24 as is done in this school (although he isnt violent nor does he have any dirty habits and almost no tantrums)? 

some therapists say that he should be put in a regular classroom with kids of his age irrespectve of his academic level and he will learn and improve faster.. but the schools strongly disagree? they feel that if the child needs help in studies then he should be put in a small classroom with other kids who have learning problems, mr or auistic.  i am so confused.. should i wait for my son to improve or should i put my foot down and force the authorities to put him in regular class? he is going to be 6 next month and i wonder where we all are going.

NJ please ask your friend which school her child is attending and is the child academically at par with his/ her peers?

thank u so much for your concern

regards

Hi Panna,

I can understand what u r going thru..Its v tough as a parent...Y dont u look for a school with less strength..a school which is willing to accomadate ur child in the regular classroom...a school which is sensitive to his needs as u mention that he  isnt having any tantrums.....

panna,

Is your son able to sit in a place. Cos this is what schools mainly notice first and is the next behavior which they least tolerate next to aggression. Even if the child does not mingle with other kids its fine as long as the child can sit in a place. You can always make up for the academics(if the child could not concentrate much in class), by giving a lot of extra coaching at home.

I would suggest you to look for a new regular school , coz this school already knows about your child, and so their judgement on him will always be biased. Often many schools dont have clear guidelines on when and how they will integrate a child into the mainstream. Once a child is labeled it is so hard to get out of that reputation. Due to my son, I observe many many children very closely and I have found some idiosyncratic behaviors in all of them. Now and then all children behave out-of-sync, but once the child's diagnosis is known, its human tendency to attribute anything that the child does to his diagnosis, while many other normal children do them as well sometimes. So I would suggest to look for a new regular school, dont disclose to the new school anything about his past, and then wait for their feedback if they observe anything out of the ordinary then only you decide to do anything further. Probably you could look for international boards which have lesser academics(if that is an issue). Or you could give a lot of extra coaching at home so that the child is on par with his peers on the academic front. I have a friend whose child has hand flapping sometimes, but has not disclosed to his school the problem. She gives a lot of extra coaching at home and he is doing well on academics and in school . 

I had called up my friend a couple of times, but she has not picked up the calls. Once I get the information from her, i'll update it here.  

Tanuja ravi,

I read your first post in this thread. This is what I feel.

If the school your child goes to is a completely regular school, they are not going to make individual reservations, unless the child has a physical difficulty, like poor vision for instance, they may accomodate by giving him the first benches.This rotation of places is there in many schools , even in my sons school. 

This is what I feel - If your child is studying in a regular school, its not fair to expect them to cater to individual childs needs, Lets face it--- Almost all mothers would like their child to sit in the first few benches as some amount of concentration gap is found in all children. What would the teacher do if many parents come with this request of putting their kids in front benches. So if there is a rule in the school , we need to follow it and not ask for reservations. Since the teacher said its only for a day, I'm sure the child is not going to loose anything much. This imo is not a big issue at all, and as you have also mentioned in your post, they are accomodating him very well. 

And let me tell you a fact------ Most mothers work very hard for improving their child. If you see a seemingly bright child in class --- credits to the mother!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know this - coz when I was in school upto class V, I always used to stand among the first 3 ranks in class. This was because my mom was carefully monitoring my studies. Once she started her own business, she became very busy to check on me and my grades slipped... So I know,, Its 90% the effort the parents take that will make the child shine, the school will not and cannot do that completely.. Only 1 or 2 kids who are extremely bright on their own can make it with just the schools efforts, the rest of the kids need a lot of supervision from their parents. I have seen how parents slog with their children for competetions, scholarships etc.. So dont worry,,, you are not among the few ,,, many mothers work as hard as you......

Hi,

I completely agree with what NJ has written...If the child is able to sit,then the school tolerates..even if he/she is not mingling with other children...

Secondly,Once kids r tagged,everything the child does is attributed to the tag,whereas normal children also exihibit weird behaviour at times....I completely completely agreee with these 2 things!!

I have a teacher in my building who teaches in my kids school...She teaches the higher classes n not my child....I didnt know she was a teacher in the same school...One fine evening wen I took my child to the society park she too turned up there.....She was giving me very very negative vibes,looking at my child with weird glances...n somehow frm her weird body language ,I got an intuition that she cud be teaching in my kids school.....

My instincts motivated me to ask her n wen I asked Lo and behold she was indeed a teacher there....Even till date,she talks to everyone but not to me...Even If I meet her(unfortunately) at times,she either puts her head down or counts stars in the sky....Just bcos I have a chiild with speech delay n social issues,Iam being treated that way....She may be terrified that I will approach her some favour.......!!

If a teacher is this way....people pls tell me what can we expect frm them???This incident has no relevance in this discussion...but yet I felt the need 2 discuss it....All that I want to say here is we shouldnt be expecting anything frm anyone...No school,no teacher(unless understanding)can be of any help...We have to help our kids..even if its a lonely battle....

Dear NJ and Neethi,

My son's problem got solved long time back and he himself has solved it.

Regards

Tanuja

 Neethi

A big hug for u.Ignore such mentality people.She doesn't hav any empathy.i know u hav to face lot of such obstacles like this till ur kids grows up,but at the end of the day everything u do for ur kid shapes him as a better individual.Nurture his positive aspects,I believe god balances everything somewhere.Next time when u meet her just walk past her with ur head up coz u r a great mother.Attitude makes people what they are.She doesn't hav the right attitude.JUST IGNORE.

take care

Thats great to hear Tanuja, I'm sure your son will do well.

Neethi,

There are many kinds of people we will come across, some will ignore, some talk sweetly in front of us, but bite our backs. Its difficult to find friends in the same society we live in due to the stigma. People reach out to other parents having the same issue or get in touch with long lost classmates or friends,family, parents in school(often I find parents in school are more accomodating and less political than parents in the same flat/society), or parents in friendship groups(like the GFB group here in parentree), coworkers etc. She is just one person, there are many others who are very kind and understanding. But yeah such kind of people really ticks us off. .

Hi Aniadhvi,

Thanks so much..Ur post means a lot to me....Neethi

Hi NJ,

U r right..People differ n so do their opinions...But believe me such people r really turn off..I disrespect their apathy!!

Dear  NJ,

Thanks.

Regards

Tanuja