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Hello everybody, My kids is 5.5yrs and she is very active and above average Kid. She likes to play all day and even likes colouring and painting all messy stuff. But when it comes to reading and writing she acts very stubborn and does not want to do that. She cries and keeps complaining like hungry or stomach ace or leg pain or something else. Only after crying for 15min or sometimes after spanking( can't control at all sometimes as we now it is all drama..) does she sit peacefully and reads or write. She always complains like "why should i write or read ?" . Whenever I ask any question like spelling of some word , the first answers would be "donno".Only after I tell to try and think , she reluctantly agrees and anwers correctly. ALso , she cries for no reason and back answers many times. Day by day she is becoming very stubborn , arrogant girl. To make her read or write, I have to bribe her by telling stories or choc etc..Otherwise again she starts Questioning as to "why only she reads and write and us?"...Please suggest something ways .. Thanks in advance, Sarasrl |
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your child is showing defiance here. reasons for defiance could be many. may be you are coming down too harshly on her when it comes to studies, may be her pre-academic skills are not well established, may be her study time clashes with her playtime/TV time, may be she has not understood why she should read and write, may be she never sees adults reading/writing, may be the methods used are not exciting enough, may be she is more kinesthetic types and doesnt understand verbal/visual academic instructions well, ..plenty more reasons..and now she is faking psychosomatic symptoms to get out of it. before long, she will not need to fake it as the symptoms will feel "truly there"..so you need to sort it out at the earliest..i would not be worried if there were no physical symptoms present. check out these links www.parentree.in/groupdiscussion-610/Kids-Hesitant-to-Write.html www.parentree.in/groupdiscussion-5233/learn-to-read.html www.parentree.in/groupdiscussion-2403/Writing-Skills-for-LKG.html www.parentree.in/groupdiscussion-8262/How-to-teach-alphabets-and-numbers-innovatively-to-a-uninterested-toddler.html www.parentree.in/groupdiscussion-630/Hyper-active-child.html www.parentree.in/groupdiscussion-4209/Books-to-read-to-your-child.html
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Thanks a lot..Anchal. I will go through all the links...She is very active and intelligent does not have any academic problems , Infact her teacher tolds us that she stood 2nd in her class but very very naughty..And we wont ask her study more than half an hour...but she makes all this drama and pulls it to nearly an hour. If I ask any add/sub problems in the form of games, she can play that forever...but she don't want to do boring stuff like writing Hindi , english alphabets and reading on her own. Now I have one question..When I ask my kid to write..she says she's hungry and if I say that the rice is still cooking and u need to wait , meanwhile u finish writing..Then she finishes after some pestering ofcourse and that if I ask whether she is hungry and wants to eat ...she says I'm not hungry....I don't want to eat. If I say "you said u were hungry that time" then She replies "That time I was hungry and now my hunger is gone".......you still think she is showing pshychosomatic symptoms?
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no..she is not showing PS symptoms right now..but she is consciously faking the symptoms..i am worried that she will soon learn this mechanism rigidly to get out of situations where she is forced to study..over a period of time, it may become PS. you may want to make the 'boring' stuff interesting for her. when children do not understand something, they are not interested in learning more then. the way you play games for maths, you may do the same for english and hindi too. check my Fb link for phonics www.facebook.com/pages/Confident-Living/327291643979695 BTW, which school does she go to? at 5.5, she would either be in JKG or SKG..there is ranking system in her school at KG level? this says something about pressure to perform at school. do not tag her 'naughty'..she will find it difficult to come out the tag..request the teacher too not to call her 'naughty'. positive reinforcement is all what she needs i guess.
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Thanks Anchal..she completed her UKG and wil be going to Class 1 this June. There is grading system in her school and when we asked about her performance , the teacher voluntarily told us that she stood 2nd in her class..In fact I wanted her to be put in UKG this time also as she is NOv born , but she does not like that at all...She wants to go to Class 1. I tried to convice her but failed. Also my hubby din support me on this. His argument was that she is the tallest kid i her class and looks already Class 1 kid..Other kids may tease her and she may feel demoralized..So now she will be going to class 1 to new school where hindi is 2nd language.She was not taught Hindi in UKG..so having bad time in teaching her..ALso I 'm working mom and I give her 2-3 pages for practice...but from morn till evening she will only play and never complete her HW..In evening if I want her to practice, she makes all this drama and wastes lot of time...Once she gave her book to a older kid who worte her book and told me that she has written it , but I could easily catch it and now she stopped doing that...Guess as you told I should try making her writing little more interesting..
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May be that is one reason for her tantrums ... She is studying in a class one above her age .... Kids brains develop as per their age only ... even if it is just one month difference, it will make a lot of difference in their understanding and performance ... Physical appearance shud not matter when compared to the brain development of child. Anyway since you have already joined her ... atleast make sure she is not over stressed to perform both at school and at home ... See that the school does not pressurise the child and there is more of learning by doing activity ... This generation kids dont seem to go with rote learnig ... At home, set her playful rules that 1 hr every day is for study ... and see that it is done playfully ... rather than strict study ... make sure it is a time convenient for both and you sit along with her during that time ... and assure her she can do anything she likes after the study ... You can build her vocabulary by playinf simple games like word buidling, spell builder ... it can be an everday actuity ... just to spend time with her ... you can keep doin ur work and play with her at the same time .. Some kids tend to be a little more active and nauty compared to other kids ... till the 7 yrs age ... After that they become more responsible ... If she is nauty ... let her be ... Kids have to be nauty since we elders cant be ... So as long as it doesnt hurt the other kids ... let her be herself ... When she crosses the limit ... try to tell her softly wot it is like to hurt others ... and she will surely understand ... And last of all but most imp. dont loose ur cool ... kids like to be told softly and lovingly ... the more u shout and loose ur cool ... the more stubborn they become ... All these r my experiences with my kid ... and they worked so well ... So thot wud share them ... He now has impreoved so well with his vocabulary and spelling ... and the other areas also ... So u can try them too .. .
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Thanks Priya......Wil try to follow your advice though it is going to be a challenge...
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same problem with my daughter. but slightly different. she was quite happy until her 2nd term in UKG. i never used to have any fear or worry about her . infact she used to do all her homework alone me just saying please complete this. now after in her 3 rd term she literaly dislikes to go to school. keeps crying all time right from boarding the bus and entering the class room. even during class hours also she cries i want to go home. during this 3 rd term her teacher started giving home work daily. could be one reason. i am consoling myself. another one since i am also working, i am sending her by school bus daily. bus comes by 6:55 am or @7:10 am [10 mnts difference is not a big thing] we have no other option. and my mom is at home to take care of her. though she stays with my mother @home after school i used to talk to her after my office hrs sincerely ... i will spend my time only with her. inspite of all this she is crying inconsolably. i tried getting the reason. but she is not able to tell exactly. neither her school nor her peer members had harm her. please advice on how to proceed in this. but anyway she stands @ Outstanding grade always. i even checked with her classteacher if she gets any help. she said no not at all. she is pretty good and able to well manage herself.
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dear sarasrl, have u read about waldorf/steiner schools? if not.. please google about waldorf..
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