disciplining kids... - Page 1

hi all,

Iam a working mom and i have a 3.7 yr old daughter.. she is very brilliant and that is my problem now... she understands everything, analyses everything and asks questions for everything.. she will do the things only if she feels that it is right.. she has excellent memory and the things what i know at 30 yrs.. she knows at  yrs..

i dont know how to discipline her because most of the times she is not following what iam saying.. rather she does only if it is correct.. if i ask her to wear any dress of my choice, and itf she dont like it , she says amma why cant i wear a dress of my choice!!!she selects all her dresses in the shop..

if i raise my voice or raise my hands( very rarely) in order to discipline her, she becomes very dull and makes me feel that as if i created some sins...

the main problem is she does everything of her own choice and doesnt folloe our words..

1. Is this good or bad?

2. Should i be happy that she is more brilliant than her age or should worry she is not following my words..

3 .this nature will spoil her?

4. if i leave her like this and pamper her, she will become more stubborn in the future?

how to tackle this problem.. Moms pls help me..

hi, u sound real worried. ur lil girl seems to be real nice and has a mind of her own. i have a 3.3 yr old daughter. i cannot really advise u as am parenting for the first time. can only suggest that you check with a qualified person like a montessori trained teacher, pediatrician, child psychologist as to how u can develop her talents without adversely affecting her enthusiasm or curbing her inquisitive nature. its good to direct her energies fruitfully. will be satisfying for her as well as u. if you are in hyd, do let me know if i can suggest some of the above. love to ur lil one.

all good qualities and skills have side effects too and that goes for logical thinking + decision taking skills too. a child with high cognitions will not take things lying down, for sure. but what you explained in your post is not only a reflection of intelligence in the child, but of conflict with parental figure too.

check this out www.facebook.com/pages/Confident-Living/327291643979695

read this book, "how to talk so kids listen and listen so kids talk" by faber and mazlish.

thanks payaswini.. but iam not in hyderabad.. iam in chennai..

@ aanchal: thanks and i will try to read this book..

My 2 cents ! From what I learnt from raising a kid of my own, she doesnt listen to what we say but she does what we do. The little ones always watches us and observers things that we do and they imitate that. So If you want your kid to do anything, do not tell her what to do, show her what to do. That way he / she will start picking up from seeing us. Also we need to be careful in doing things infront of them. we have the risk of kids picking some bad things from us too. Again it takes a lot of effort in raising the kids. As they grow they learn lot of things that are not told but what they see. This I think is the basic thought behind montessori mode of education. Thanks

 superb ramkumar this is so correct i see my positives as well as my negatives in my growing daughter she is 3.9mnths old and vanitha we both r surprisingly in the same situation it makes me smile that d situation is so alike my girl is super intelligent logical n Observant  she hs taken the better of my good skills n imitated my bad ways too my only way hs been in d last two yrs is improving my behavior in front of her n this surely works i cn see that i hv to say her father has been an active participant in grooming her children do respond to diff styles of parenting maybe yr spouce makes a difference