how to control your anger - Page 1

hi allll,i have a 4 yr old kid...i m lil short temper by nature...so i get angry  easily...everyday i think  today i ll control my tempo bt again i end up with beating her...i need all ur suggestion..how to control anger whn ur child irritates u..thanx

Meditation helps, if you can discipline yourself to get up early in the morning everyday and spend an hour in meditation there is nothing like it. Meditation need not be like sitting in yoga posture, it can just be a long early morning walk and talking with God. Regular fasting also helps to calm down the body.

 Hi lira,

It is normal for most people to lose their temper once in a while. However, if you lose it everyday, there are steps you can take to work on being a calm person. I have a few suggestions. See what works for you.

1. First of all, work on your belief that you are a short tempered person. Often, when we strongly believe something about ourselves, we tend to exhibit the same behaviour that we want to get rid of. You can maintain a diary, in which you can write positive statements everyday about you being a calm and cool person. 

2. Also, take a few moments to visualise you being calm and cool. You can do this when you wake up in the morning, before going to bed and also at any other time you like.If you like music, you can  play soothing music while visualising being calm. This exercise of writing in your diary and visualisation should help you acquire a new belief about you being a calm person also and give you a positive feeling about yourself. Do this activity every day and see that there are no distractions while doing this. You just need ten minutes for this activity. 

3. Despite doing all this, there may be times when you feel your temper rising, Especially in the beginning. Don't give up or think you are not making progress.Progress takes time.  When you feel your temper rising, take a deep breath and count to ten. Drink some water if you feel like. You shoud feel better and be abe to manage your temper this way.

4. Finally, keep in mind that beating your child will not help in the long run. Neither will it help her nor will it help you. So, train yourself to be an effective parent. You CAN do it !

Parenting involves a lot of learning and preparation. So, keep reading the blogs and tips offered by members on Parentree.You can also read my blog http://haripriya-wondersofearlychildhood.blogspot.com/  for tips. So, keep trying your best and as I said, you CAN do it!. All the best to you 

we all get angry at our kids some time or the other..that doesnt make one a mother bad..however, what needs to be taken care of are: the frequency and intensity of your anger episodes and the reparative measures you take after your anger cools down..if these 3 factors are under control, then no need to worry much.

also check this link out www.parentree.in/groupdiscussion-4116/Beating-Kids---Really-need-help--.html

@Lira : I almost felt as if I was writing this post a week back !

Thats when I was at my wits end on how to deal with the 4 yr old dennis the menace at home :) there was a stretch of 1-2 weeks when yellings had become common and I literally spanked him one day and horror of all horros - I cringe to even write this , one morning I actually sent him to school without giving him a smile :(  I think I will carry this guilt till my dying day.

Then I told myself I have to get a grip , this is not getting us anywhere. I started with a very simple thing- when I am angry or my son is angry - yes unfortunately he is inheriting his mom's temper . Its not so much as inheriting, but the kid is learning what he is seeing. Coming back to the point , when either of us are getting angry - I say - Take a deep breathe . Half of the times he may not obey me but just saying this soothes him because he hears your cool voice. I also tell to say Om or chant Ram Ram .  It helps us and it helps them .

So if my son sees me getting angry he says Mamma "Ram Ram bolo!"

And I know where you are coming from because I have been through this, but trust me its not difficult. Just keep reinforcing the fact that you have to stay calm both your own self and for the well being of your child.

And - do remember once in a while its alright to get angry , but not as long as it happens often because then it loses its effectiveness.

 hi all thanx for all ur suggestions..i ll try to make it...

 hi everybody,i was also short temper before i started by diverting my mind to some other side whenever i am angry or the best way is start counting from 1 to 100 slowly coming till 80 u will automatically calm, down try this it will surely work... good luck...

Hi everyone! I have two daughters elder is 51/2 and the younger one is 2 yrs..By nature i have always been short tempered but recently i seem to be shuting at my babes (not w/o) good reason sometimes i spank them...

my elder daughter has taken after me and now she shouts her needs at the top of her vocie..How do i teach her that to manage her anger when i  am unable to manage my own..i don't want my child to have a short fuse like me

my younger one...throws lots of tantrums ...pinches all over when denied whatever she wants ...i try to control her...speak to her calmly but the minute i let her free she comes back to pinch me ....and believ me it burns and hurts for 2-3 days...In the ned i find myself slapping her/....

whta do i do? my family keeps telling me to tone it down but i do't know hwow to

please help

 hi everyone i knw i m a short tempered bt over d yrs after marriage n kids it has mellowed dwn by constant efforts  wen evr the bubble comes i clear my mindspace n remind myself of hw controlling at this point can do much gud to my kids second i wnt feel guilty n be in a more wise mother mode within moments flashes of their smiles goes thru my mind by the time i m just manipulating my mind m less angrier its also reminding hw v small their demands r little sumthings make them happy i simply give once i cn logic out n usually they too wait coz they i guess hv understood me in some little way of theirs :)