gfcf diet - Page 1

 Hi all, 

My daughter who has just turned two, has been diagnosed with autistic traits, she also has separation anxiety so assessment was difficult.  I wish to know more about the gfcf diet.  She drinks a lot of milk and likes sooji, chapathi, most prefers wheat items.  At times she is fine and at times she is not.  Wish to know what to give a two year old who heavily into milk  and chapatis. She also loves fruits, apples, bananas, custard apples, pomegranates. Can anyone help me with this diet..

I have a son in the spectrum as well. We are into GF diet, CF no since son loves milk. GFCF are not for every child there is no medical reports to prove it works, though many parents have shown large improvement in gut issues. Child with autism has hyperactivity, also problem with digestions, brain and stomach are closely connected. You can also solve the gut issues with homeopathy or ayurveda, if you are going to try the diet go full bloom approach no half here half there. There are other threads in this forum have members have shared gfcf receipes. Sorry you hear that you are child in spectrum, do start with rigourous early intervention as well.

 thanks for your support.  I have started giving her jowar rotis (sorghum) and my daughter too loves milk, so as of now I am giving her lactogen.  Will try coconut milk with honey or jaggery later on..I will refer my daughter's case to a homeopath as her auto immune system is quite weak. As far as early intervention is concerned I have started Occupational therapy everyday for 6 days a week (one hour) and most of the time she howls and tries to run away from the therapist towards the door.. lets see how it goes.  Thanks once again.

Hi Jyothi,

please make sure that you r present when the OT is going on. generally the kids enjoy it  a lot. if she is running away, then look behind the reason. also you may cut down on few days.

the results in OT are very quick as compared to other therapies.

I have a 8 yr old on the spectrum.

How do u detect autism in a 2 yr old .can you pl specify

one would need to visit a child psychologist and get an assessment there.

they will ask the parent  a series of questions, based on the answers a score card is preapared. this card will tell whether the child is in the autism spectrum or not and also the severity of the disorder.

in hyderabad niloufeur hospital is a decent option. it is a govt setup, but the doctors are more experienced and the diagnoses are correct.

jyothi-

Maintain a food diary. Does she also have digestive issues like colics, frequent night wakings, frequent loose stools, recurrent chest congestion/running nose? Many children dont tolerate many other foods and not just gluten and casein. Many also cannot tolerate soy, egg, corn and other high phenolic foods like apples, citric fruits, chocolate and bananas, sometimes nuts as well. Start by cutting off milk first. If it works, you would see an improvement in attention like response to name calling, beginning to follow instructions by the 4th day. Gluten would take 2 to 4 months to see results. Eliminate high phenolic fruits(including bananas and nuts) and high phenolic veggies, citric fruits, chocolate for 4 months and add them back in one by one introducing a new food 3 days apart so that you can uncover any more problem foods. If she has aggression issues, you may also want to eliminate soy, egg and corn then add them back 4 months later to make sure if they are a problem. High phenolic food list-

http://www.tacanow.org/family-resources/phenols-salicylates-additives/

For anxiety - b vitamin complex with high vitamin b5 works for some. For some homeopathy has addressed anxiety issues. But all these need to be done in conjection with the diet. Whatever method one follows to try to recover a child, whether its homeopathy, biomed or ayurveda,the diet and removing the problem foods is the very important.

Another important thing to note is have a good mix of carbos, proteins, veggies and fruits. There are many cases when imbalances can be created by overconsuming rice products when going gfcf. Also keep sugar to the minimum.

I know this can all be scary and complex for a new mother starting her child on a diet. If you need some support, you can call me at 9884327112.

 Hi all,

thanks for your replies.  

To NJ,

My daughter does have respiratory and colic disorders but cannot pin point at food only as during the day she is at moms place where tuition classes are also held many of them have cold and cough  plus my elder daughter and husband have chronic cold problems and food allergies (mostly gluten and egg).  My daughter responds well to all kinds of food, does not have any bad stools nor gets colic after eating food.  However, she is a milk addict, she drinks only lactogen (we have cut down the ounces but she cries very badly if we totally cut off milk, tried but not succeeded.   No soy or corn in the house, sugar is minimum, egg 4 times in a week. Started giving her custard apple these days.  She was down with cough and fever, so her diet was mostly water and marie biscuits.   Her typical diet  now is biscuits (marie), rice kanji with dal/veg/fish or egg.  Snack time is fruits, or upma or poha, then jowar rotis with chutney (coconut) and then rice again plus milk  and water in regular intervals through out   the day and night (no junk food at all).   I have yet to experiment on other food,

Other issues are walking on toes, very hyperactive, getting up in the night abt 3 to 4 times, asking for milk again .  Current diagonsis is global development delay with autistic traits, which level I do not know. She has definitely regressed, stopped telling mamma, dada and a whole lot of words which she knew...also showing signs of echolalia. Her eye contact is ok, she looks at all members in the house and responds to them at times.  Since two years has never pointed out at things.  Otherwise,age appropriate behaviour is not there at a;;. today she ran after a german shephard, she was quite attracted by the dog's fur.

 As she suffers from huge separation anxiety and cannot adjust well with different people, she just clings to me, so going to too many doctors does not have much success.  I have been asked to wait bfore I take a mri/hearing test.  OT, PT is a failure bcos, she runs out of the room towards me and once I am out of the centre she is very happy.  Still I take her everyday,

 Always her exercises are taken  without me, I sit at the reception and can hear her howling.  I am quite surprised bcos most kids on the spectrum  at the centre love OT..my daughter doesn't.   Its a month now with all the therapy but still crying.  I got an appointment with the secretary of ABA India, but could not do behavioural analysis therapy as again she was howling..

Give me some time I will call u and discuss abt her diet. thanks a lot once again

 Hello reshu

Separation anxiety  and hyper sensitivity was the reason which was told to me.  I do not know how long she will continue as she gets scared of toys and balls now.  Have not gone to the therapist for week bcos of cold and fever,.  Will again start next week.   Lets see, I will try reducing therapy to 4 times a week instead of 6.  thanks,, keeping fingers crossed.

Whatever it is , dont take an MRI scan and expose the child to radiation. Hearing test like BERA is fine as its electromagnetic impulses only.

I'm wondering why the paras did not appear. I swear that I typed in paras, and now it all looks so bunched up.

Dear Nj,

Thanks for info.  I think I way behind and have a lot to learn,  I googled almond milk receipes on the net and found some without milk, will try them.  The issue is here that she keeps on asking for milk and starts crying very badly when I do not give her milk even in the night (she gets up often).  She refuses to give up the bottle, its milk from the bottle all the time (which is also the cause of cold/stomach infections). However she is absolutely adamant, so we give up.  She drinks at 20 to 24 ounces of milk. I will try (home made)  almond milk in the day. 

I have no idea of enzymes or bio med except the tonics which my pediatric has given me. ie immuneace (a combination of minerals and vitamins including b6 and b12) and extraimmune which is a ayurvedic tonic from charak india. Plus calcimax which has zinc and magnesuim.  The quantity prescribed is 5 ml,  I will google biomed and see how it goes as most of the treatments and drug companies are based out of india, it will be difficult to get its equivalent here in mumbai and you are right, the right type of combination has to be given which shld treat the cause or rather the root.  I have no knowledge abt it,have to research, take help from my pediatric and do it.  I also give bifilac a  probiotic in powder, which she adjusts to, i tried giving her dahi with probitoics but she gets cold so i have stopped it.  Homeopathy has helped my husband with his allergies, so start of it with I will atleast try to get autoimmune system with homeopathy and ayurvedic medicines.

Thanks for sensory info, I will buy toys and take her to the beach, the beach is half an hour from my place so will do it, already taking her to the park an added advantage is the local mla is giving our housing society a garden free of charge, so will taking her there too. 

How is coconut milk with sugarcane jaggery or jaggery made from toddy.  In mangalore where I hail from often they boil raw coconut milk then add jaggery made from toddy sometimes, bannas are also mixed rather blended, its a good energy drink.

I swear by ginger/gree tea, my daughter drinks two or three teaspoons of tea but qty is limited.

I have no control over the tv as family members are not at all co-operative, mother in law has started blaming me for the autistic traits and my elder daughter and husband do not care much, no level of co-operative in the house lot of stress..I just get money for therapy or any other thing which I wish to try but no co-operation.  Atmosphere in house is very stressful, so parents are currently looking after my child, I am there at my parents for 10 to 12 hrs.  thereafter, I come home.  Will try to to educate people at home, what else I can do, if they do not understand autism. will try my best.

I really have a lot of pressure off my shoulders after joining parentree, I have a lot to do, but atleast I have some idea where and how I shld go.  thanks for d support.

Jyothi,

I am feeling very sad on reading your in laws attitude to you.. But one respite you have is that you get to go to your parents place everyday and unwind. At this time what you need is a lot of support and encouragement as anyone at this state would have lost a lot of confidence in life.

The causes for autism vary, and more and more children are diagnosed with these traits every year, environmental and external causes being thought of as the main reason. I read a quote sometime back" genes load the gun, environment pulls the trigger". This is the same case especially for children on the spectrum, though I have seen perfectly normal kids nowadays also exhibiting a lot of behavior issues. Some childrens bodies are predisposed to develop such conditions as they cannot eliminate toxins at the same rate that healthy children does. A generation ago who have heard of such pollution levels in water/ air, too many vaccinations containing a high dose of heavy metal preservative enough to cause heavy metal poisoning, lead in toys/drinking water/soil, genentically modified crops, pesticide usage on all time high. So food allergies are all too common now.

Homeopathy helps with phenol intolerance. Finding a good doctor that can help with this is going to be tricky. But hearing that your hub has got over his allergies through homeopathy is very encouraging and you can try the same doctor for your daughter also.

Dont give too much jaggery, since this is sugar and can cause hyperactivity. Coconut milk is consumed by many on the gfcf diet, but my son got a lot of bloating even with just 20 ml of coconut milk. If it does not cause digestion problem for your kid then its great. It is rich in Essential fatty acid and is a natural anti viral. Many in the west consider this a superfood.

You will get a lot of information as your read along. Initially you will find it all overwhelming. But over a period of time, you will be able to filter out information which would be applicable to you and that which will not be applicable to you.

I have not heard of the other 2 supplements you mentioned, but Calcimax increased the hyperactivity and impulsiveness for my son.

Some supplements, foods can cause behavior issues and not just digestive issues. Thats one thing to keep in mind while trying to figure out a suiting diet and supplements. Since you are already soy and corn free, eliminate anything with artificial color and flavoring, eggs, milk and milk products, phenolic fruits and veggies, citric fruits, including the current supplements for a month and add them back in one by one keeping a gap of 3 days apart while introducing any new food. The gap of 3 days is because intolerance to foods can show upto 3rd day. Keep a record of what you were giving that day and if there was any issues regarding behavior, sleep, aggression, meltdowns, hyperactivity and other issues.

I wish that your daughter recovers from this and that you can get some of your life back.. For most of the children the problem fades away as they grow older-- so there is hope for you. I wouldnt fully trust pediatricians as they do not know how to handle such conditions as they should be handled on case by case basis. Do a lot of reading on your own on

sensory integration therapy-- you would get lot of excercises from the net. Get the child to feel as much different textures as possible

Biomedical intervention - Read www.danasview.net and http://www.recoveredfromautism.com/

This contains a lot of success stories and different interventions. Dana has 3 children on the spectrum one being on the severe end of the spectrum. She recovered every single one of them. 

So I would always say "Why think of sky as the limit when there are footprints on the moon"..

Good luck!
 

Hi, Does anybody know about this Gluten free wheat products available in India (specifically chennai). Just came across this website. It is chandigar based http://saifoodproducts.com/about.html

I guess we can order it online also . Has anyone tried this or some other similar to the pls share

came across other sites too. Anybody having any info if these are genuine pls share the details

http://www.sunirafoods.com/products1.html

http://www.healthkart.com/product/zero-g-rite-atta/NUT578

http://bewellindia.en.ec21.com

 Hello VL,

All three of these companies are based in haryana.  I have a friend who is based there,  I am going to ask her to bring some of the products. It will take time but will let u know how the products.  Also, since i am based in mumbai, I would ask her to bring some of the products and personally try them.. as of now do not whether they are genuine or not.  As we grind jowar grains and make rotis, these guys have jowar suji, flakes, ready mix etc

 Hi NJ,

thanks for all your support, i am going to read dana's view point and work on my daughter's diet, will contact you again for support.

thanks a lot

cheers !!

thanks Jyothi.. will wait for your feedback.

I also came across another one..http://www.anmolpreetfood.com which is based out of Ludhiana. I have sent an online query to them.

Will also try grinding Jowar for rotis. Do you grind them as fine powder like atta? How is the taste as these kids are so used to taste that they are used to. I havent used them so far..

I have a 3.6 yr kid who also exhibits autistic traits.. She is undergoing OT and Speech Therapy. OT for last 9 months and ST for last 2 months.

She is hyper active at home and she cannot stay calm when we take her outside for shops/malls etc. she would stay with us only for couple of mins after we enter and then run around to explore stuff around. She also had habit of putting all her toy objects in a bag/cover and keep it in hand and take it wherever she goes. (she does play with it also) Even she will want to have her stuff in hand when she goes to school or going to bed. This has increased much oflate. We make it a point forecefully keep it in the cupboard when she leaves to school or Bed, she will whine for few mins but sometimes will forget once she boards the bus or goes to bed however as soon as she gets up or comes back from school the first thing  she will remember what she left behind and want to have it

But in school i dont think she exhibits adamancy / stubbornness or major behaviour issue. She goes to a regular school. She is coping OK but there are few feedback from her teacher in terms of her distraction nature (more of visual attaction to colourful things), sustaining eye contact for longer time, she mingles with kids by running around with them but she perhaps doesnt have a interaction kind of approach still. This might be due to lack of language not on par with other kids.

She keeps asking repeated questions (what/where type)and when she starts to ask something new she will keep asking that very frequently

Not sure how much of above is a major problem but in long run i want to make sure these dont intervene in her development and academics.

Till now i had not done any diet restriction so wanted to do to see if any improvement will be seen to reduce hyperactivity and improve in maintaining sustained eye contact

NJ, can you give the names and company/lab which is deliver natural products. I am looking for Calcium supplement and good multi vitamin. Any other suggestion from you will also help.

Being vegetarian, i cant include anything else. Still i give her egg may be 2-3 times a week.

Till now, as i havent noticed any kind of food allergy, in the sense that she had not had any episodes of stomach upset/diaheria / vomitting/ rashes etc. Is there any other way to identify non-acceptance of any food without allergy test

She does get fever/cold/cough both seasonal and otherwise also

hi vl,

jowar grains have to ground just like  wheat very fine.  But the dough is very soft just like rice, so for rotis they have to be patted with hand.  If you watch Etv (marathi version) they have good cookery shows where such rotis are made plus th ey have rotis of water chesnut  (shingdana) or tapioca flour,  these can be rolled on a rolling pin.  You can try and google for receipes of  rice or jowar rotis, they bot h are made in the same way.  that is make a round ball of dough and they patting it slowly to make a roti.  You can add ghee to to rotis and eat it with coriander or tomato chutney.  For me two rotis are more than enough.

Your daughter traits are just like one's of my mom's student who was diagonsed with adhd and not autism.  But the doctors and you as parents are the best judges. My mom's student was suggested behavrioural therapy.. I do not know how he has progressed but mom says he is much better. As far as food and allergies are concerned, I too am at loss, going to try the suggestions and links ewhich NJ gave me.   Don't stress yourself.

VL,

By being hyperactive at home, what is it that she does that is hyperactive?

Putting toys in a bag and carrying it wherever she goes is a trait for many 2 year old normal children also. But this should recede by 3 years. But we all know that children who have traits on the spectrum have developmental age which does not keep up with their chronological age. This could also be a sign of ocd- also one of the trait by some on the spectrum.

is she asking the same question repeatedly. Then it is perhaps because of her limited speech. She wants to know more about the item in question, but she is only aware of how to ask it in one way only. You can expand on that by asking a different question on that item and then telling the answer for that question if she does not know the answer to that. For instance, if she sees a cycle and asks what is it? You can first say it is a cycle. Then you ask her, how many wheels does it have, if she doesnt answer then say the answer else move on to the next question like - do you know whose cycle is this? you also have a similar cycle like this isnt it?, what color cycle do you like? and so on.

Do you have children in your neighbourhood that she can interact with on a daily basis? You can teach her social skills while shadowing her when she plays with them.

If you are starting the diet, you need to remove all the foods for a while which are creating problems for her. Else it will fail. So you have to remove the common allergens(gluten,soy,corn, dairy products, eggs, citric fruits, apples, bananas, chocolate,aritificial flavors or colors) for a month and add them back in one at a time. Reduce sugar intake greatly(so you may want to avoid sweets that you get from anandabavan etc). During this period avoid any junk food. They contain MSG(ajinomoto), artificial color/flavor, and also mainly corn and soya are hidden in them. Corn comes as many different names in the labels like high fructose corn syrup, maize starch, etc. So always read and reread the labels.

I am using Thorne's childrens basic nutrients as multivitamin.

Calcium glycinate with vit D3 and magnesium glycinate from kirkmans labs.

If she falls sick repeatedly, that is also a sign that she is not absorbing nutrients from food probably. Behavior issues like hyperactivity are also a sign of food intolerance. Reactions to high phenol foods , high sugar intake can present themselves as hyperactivity, attention deficit or aggression. Also if the gut is too permeable, foods like dairy and gluten can create an opiod effect, disconnect from the world. Other behavior issues to look out for is visual and vocal stimming, ocds. So these are the things that you also need to look out for when introducing the foods back and while taking out the foods for a month, is she improving to a great extent in these areas also.

I used to use Suniras foods before for their biscuits. But they changed their formula to include corn in their foods. Also their biscuits have soya oil and some of it have artificial colors and flavors. I also heard that their chapattis made from sorghum flour does not come out well even after applying the method they suggested.

Also medicines like cough syrup, paracetamol syrups etc have artificial flavors or colors or both. This can make the gut more permeable and thereby make the body unable to absorb nutrients from foods. So these are also somethings you need to check while trying out the elimination diet. Try out some natural remedies like homeopathy for fever or cold or other home remedies

Stimming can also be caused due to viral infections. So during flu period, you may notice an increase in echolalia, visual or vocal stimmings.

NJ, Tks for ur reply.

Is not Jowar (soghrum)  Cholam in tamil. Which is Corn or is it only Makka cholam which is Corn and Jowar is something else. What is Jowar  called in tamil

I need little more details on the food substitutes i will write in shortly here

Hello NJ,

Started almond milk with dates.  Also giving my daughter Nestum rice.   Will see her reaction for 3 to 7 days.

NJ, my husband's family has got lot  of food allergies from coriander to garam masala,egg, gluten etc etc. My husband even had the herpes virsus where in candida is present.   Bcos, my  husband can be a carrier and I have given a hell lot of vaccinations to my  child even the optional ones,I have been told to go to Hinduja hospital for a complete evaluation and diet programme, trying to get through them.

As of now, her  traits have approached the autistic spectrum.  Now she closes her ears when she hears the lift noise. Toe walking, hand flapping when excited, signs of echolalia, hyperactivity,  extreme sensitivity to touch, no two way communication,no understanding of instructions, throwing toys, trying to spin wheels ( at times), no attention span, no imminent sign of danger, getting up in the night frequently.  All are present.  Have to work a lot on her.

I have been through dana view and more impressed with recoveredfromautism.com. They have used a combination of homeopathy and biomed interventions.

In your earlier msg to VL, you mentnioned kirkmans labs, do you get these medicines directly from there via fedex, dhl or u have someone in the US who sends you the medicines.  I found Akhilhealthfoods.com a division of Akhil Autism foundation supplying DMG and other kirkmans products, are they good ?? I also found they sell keifer, which is good for natural fermentation of coconut milk, water, my grandparents used ferment coconut milk and water 40 yrs ago and they used to eat a lot of natural fermented food.  Unfortunately my mom and dad never bothered to ask..

Have you seen a DAN doctor, who is based in India.  How are you giving biomed to your son.  What abt dosage and the combinattion of medicines.  It should be appropriate to his age and weight right ?? plus the right type of food should be given for these medicines to work w ell. My knowledge is limited but  I am not able to find a DAN doctor in mumbai.  You are right biomed, in conjuction with the right food can help a lot  much more faster that homeopathy.. Each has own way.  My classmate in states uses a lot of biomed but her child has no atypical disorder. It works perfectly for his immunity levels.  Here there is no sort of organized structure for developmental disorders like OT, PT, medical interventions etc.  However, I have tried to book an appointment with a quite good Homeopath (MD) next  week.  Waiting for their call.  Lets see how it goes. Thanks

Jyothi,

I had got Kirkmans products through Akhil health foundations. But I found that they were non responsive many times and their shipping rates were expensive at that time(about 40USD per shipment irrespective of the weight). You can check with them however what are their present rates. I have now switched to iherb since they have a wide array of products to choose from. iherb also sells some of the kirkmans products.

I'm sure you will find coconut kefir recipe on the net. Now that you mentioned it, I would also like to try it for my son. All kinds of fermented foods are more easily absorbed by the body.

I am not seeing any DAN doctors. I used to consult a nutritionist earlier who had adviced me on the diet. But there were lot of loopholes and I felt she could only go so far. Firstly she did not address any imbalances that the diet would create in the long run--- and she told that I have to continue this diet till he turns about 13 years!!! and that too she did not give me any alternative nutritional support , but had asked me to avoid a long list of foods which covers almost everything that we can eat .. Plus my son also could not digest the alternatives she suggested like ragi and chickpea lentils. Also the medicines that she gave like ashta choornam for digestion and aloe vera etc actually had adverse effects on my son. When my son has an adverse effect to something, I want an answer immediately and I found that I did not have the flexibility with her. I am also tired of all the conventional doctors and therapists. So now I network with other moms, do my own research and implement things for my son. It gives me greater flexibility also to research on my own and try out things.

Some of the sites where I search and found very good information are-

in yahoo groups - gfcfkids my first and best choice, mb12valtrex - also helped sometimes, but this group is more technical and do not use all natural products.

There are also websites- www.mothering.com, www.autismwebforum.com

VL,

Yes I searched on some sites- Sorghum is cholam in tamil which in turn is corn. I will inquire and confirm. So I was actually giving my kid corn biscuits 6 months ago and didnt even know it!!!!!...

 NJ and VL,

Jowar is from the corn family  maybe from a subcategory but has more complex carbohydrates and good amount of protein too.  Corn seeds are big and golden yellow where as jowar is light brown similar to wheat. Jowar rotis are also light brown. the rotis are more heavier than wheat, it not that elastic as wheat is and is more soft when ground into powder and dough is even more softer. There basically two variety, seeds which are small and very light and seeds that are bigger but not as big and corn and heavier. These seeds give more flour and more nutrition.  .

http://www.vnexportsindia.com/jowar.html

 Hi Everyone,

My daughter has speeach delay and atension disorders. She has been adviced a gluten-free diet. Was researching online and I came across this website.

http://glutenfreebangalore.blogspot.com/

This will be helpful for mothers in Bangalore.

Mommydear

Hi NJ,

  Reg supplements, when i see iherb site, there are host of company offering very many supplements, which really left me confused on what to choose..

Also you had mentioned above that you are using Calcium and vitamin from Kirkman lab and multivitamin from Thorne's. How did you narrow down.

I mainly need for a 3-1/2 yr old a good multi vitamin (which will satify most of the minerals/vitamins in required quantity)  and Calcium supplement.

I came across this multivitamin from Kirkman, want to know if this is good.

http://www.ourkidsasd.com/products/130%7CChildren's%20Chewable%20Multi%20Vitamin%20and%20Mineral-Kirkman%20Labs

This site states this "This product is sweetened with dextrose and sucralose and flavored with a delicious natural mango/peach flavor". Also they claim that No preservative/colouring.

What is your comment on above?

When i chek for calcium in iherb, i see many dosage of calcium like 250 IU etc with other combination so want to know for the age of 3.6 and girl child which will be the best composition and from which lab. I will prefer a liquid, chewable or a powder. If it is powder, can it be mixed with water

Also, at home i dont have a very encouraging support for going in for diet implementation. Like most MILs, mine also opposes whatever i do. I am being questioned on all the authenticity. She is a person with school of thought that a child needs to be feel fed, and feel fed according to her is the kid's tummy should be filled to maximum no matter what goes in is nutritious or good for the kid. According to her a kid is healthy only if it is chubby n fat. And she is the authority at home and nobody will say a word against her. So as i am raising all these things, it is causing friction and she always thinks that the youger generation doesnt know anything  that is specifically fir DILs only.

She says first you find out all the details, give me a printout with what is the alternate food and medicines which will compensate for the diet etc.. Even if i make it very clear she will never agree and when i start implenting also she will keep on cribbing and eat up my head saying that because we stopped all these, she is loosing weight, not very healthy, dull etc etc. As i am working full time i am dependent on her for taking care of the kid.