I am feeling very sad on reading your in laws attitude to you.. But one respite you have is that you get to go to your parents place everyday and unwind. At this time what you need is a lot of support and encouragement as anyone at this state would have lost a lot of confidence in life.
The causes for autism vary, and more and more children are diagnosed with these traits every year, environmental and external causes being thought of as the main reason. I read a quote sometime back" genes load the gun, environment pulls the trigger". This is the same case especially for children on the spectrum, though I have seen perfectly normal kids nowadays also exhibiting a lot of behavior issues. Some childrens bodies are predisposed to develop such conditions as they cannot eliminate toxins at the same rate that healthy children does. A generation ago who have heard of such pollution levels in water/ air, too many vaccinations containing a high dose of heavy metal preservative enough to cause heavy metal poisoning, lead in toys/drinking water/soil, genentically modified crops, pesticide usage on all time high. So food allergies are all too common now.
Homeopathy helps with phenol intolerance. Finding a good doctor that can help with this is going to be tricky. But hearing that your hub has got over his allergies through homeopathy is very encouraging and you can try the same doctor for your daughter also.
Dont give too much jaggery, since this is sugar and can cause hyperactivity. Coconut milk is consumed by many on the gfcf diet, but my son got a lot of bloating even with just 20 ml of coconut milk. If it does not cause digestion problem for your kid then its great. It is rich in Essential fatty acid and is a natural anti viral. Many in the west consider this a superfood.
You will get a lot of information as your read along. Initially you will find it all overwhelming. But over a period of time, you will be able to filter out information which would be applicable to you and that which will not be applicable to you.
I have not heard of the other 2 supplements you mentioned, but Calcimax increased the hyperactivity and impulsiveness for my son.
Some supplements, foods can cause behavior issues and not just digestive issues. Thats one thing to keep in mind while trying to figure out a suiting diet and supplements. Since you are already soy and corn free, eliminate anything with artificial color and flavoring, eggs, milk and milk products, phenolic fruits and veggies, citric fruits, including the current supplements for a month and add them back in one by one keeping a gap of 3 days apart while introducing any new food. The gap of 3 days is because intolerance to foods can show upto 3rd day. Keep a record of what you were giving that day and if there was any issues regarding behavior, sleep, aggression, meltdowns, hyperactivity and other issues.
I wish that your daughter recovers from this and that you can get some of your life back.. For most of the children the problem fades away as they grow older-- so there is hope for you. I wouldnt fully trust pediatricians as they do not know how to handle such conditions as they should be handled on case by case basis. Do a lot of reading on your own on
sensory integration therapy-- you would get lot of excercises from the net. Get the child to feel as much different textures as possible
Biomedical intervention - Read www.danasview.net and http://www.recoveredfromautism.com/
This contains a lot of success stories and different interventions. Dana has 3 children on the spectrum one being on the severe end of the spectrum. She recovered every single one of them.
So I would always say "Why think of sky as the limit when there are footprints on the moon"..