Multitasking..is it worthwhile - Page 1

 Hi all,

I am a new joinee in this community and see that there are many similar moms.

i am a working mom for a 1 year old sweet little darling.Initially, i had the supportsystem of my MIL(ofcourse she is also old and was not able to manage him).But my hub does not allow me to quit as he wants financial security.I am a kind of a person who does not like interference and likes to do all the work on my own.This made my hubby think that i can  do all my own and he never supported me in doing household chores(Infact we both work in the same comapny and right now he is enjoying his playtime as i am sitting waiting for him to leave)One more thing is , he is a typical Indian traditional guy who thinks that its wife's duty to do all the chores.Infact, he wants everything of me perfect- a perfect wife, a perfect mother, a perfect daughter-in-law,etc...

Eventhough i am working i never had financial control on my salary, leave alone his.I had to ask him for every single penny.He says whatever i ask for is waste of money.Belive me its long since i got a new dress, leave alone gram of gold.In fact i have been fighting with him for a pair of ear rings :-(.But his parents will get whaterver they want -They are not earning and we are their supporters.All our finances are in FIL's contro whom i hate the most in ths whole world because of his crooked nature.

So advise me frenz, is it worthwhile for me to work and do multitasking when you are not getting in turn?Infact all my hard earned money is going into wrong hands which i dont know how to stop ...

Atleast you should have control over your salary. Give him salary at the end of the month not on the start of the month. After all of the expenses give the remaining salary to him. Join in  a chit group/Some kind of savings for your future.

You make clear to him that you are getting tired , b'cos of this you are not able to concentrate on work, which might effect the job/promotion/hike. Tell him that you need a full time maid at home, . He might reject your proposal, don't expect +ve response from him immediately.  But you try to convience him, by saying that if you give better performance at office will give better pay (or some other way which indirectly gets him some benifit). 

Dear

Don't do this to yourself. Stop right here. & its not only coz u r not getting a pair of earrings or a new dress. I am saying this becoz a healthy & fit mother is the best gift to any child. not a tired & often falling sick mother. So gift your darling a healthy mom.

& then ofcourse it is for your hard earned money. You must be earning this for your child. invest something in his name, like on monthly basis.

& yes most important thing you do is TALK to your husband. Tell him straight that you get tired & that's no deal. Multitasking is ok but not at the cost of your health - physical & emotional.

If you let this carry on you will get day to day frustrations which in turn will show up in relationships. So please take a stand on the salary hand over & the amount of multitasking.

All the best!!!

Darshana (Eshaan's Mom)

Hi

Imagine a situation, u are at home, u fight to be at home cause u feel it aint worthwhile. Then the nagging starts that you are doing nth all day.. u don't earn anything so asking for money would become even more painful from ur husband. Whatever he is giving, he wud give you even less and expect you to runt he house miraculously. can your eally manage the stress that would come with it?

Can you manage the nagging that comes with quitting ur job..? Believe me, I m a working mother of 3 kids and I 'hv to do all the house chores, each and every thing, including grocery, school books,  fee deposit, their Parent teachers meetings etc etc all alone. My husband cribs endlessly that I m inefficient and I m good for nth.

But I know inside my heart that I do a lot for my family and I m in a position that God forbid if he leaves me I can raise all of them alone. I hv sworn, I would never ever stay at home the rest of my life. I do go crazy running for each and every house work alone but then GOd is watching me. And no action of mine would go unpaid. And for all those husbands who do not help their wives, again the almighty is watching them, expecting them to be more kind and patient to their wife. Your rewards are with your lord, ur kindness, ur cooking is not waste, ur efforts for the family wud help u raise a child who is sympathetic to ur need and in future of his/her family.

That being said, you need to make it very clear that you earn, u keep the money and run the house, what is left you would save in the name of ur son. Create a ppf account in ur name or ur sons name and make urself and ur husband as the nominee.

dressing up well is a part of ur identity. so do not sacrifice to that extent. Buy clothes, which are affordable and wearable on a day to day basis. I wudn't worry much abt ear rings, there are a lot of designer wear imitation jewellry in the markett hat you can wear and not be afraid of losing it.

My schedule has no time for tv - but really don't care abt idiot box anyway, some good quality time with kids when we are on our own, and a great friend circle back at office.

think wisely, fight for the right cause. do not threaten of quitting job and most importantly do not bring in laws names also in a fight, you would lose all battle. use ur words wisely.

Rubu.