Please engage him in some sports, or music or dance or some regular activities, karate class etc....so that daily morning and evening he should be busy and no time to think about anything...So that he will not get depressed. He will be relaxing and also spend the night time with him and ask him daily b4 sleep about his joy or any worries, but don't ask him as like an investigation....at any moment he should not think like that. T.care

I dont know whether he is angry with me since i'm away from his father..........

In fact we are not divorced- due to his behaviour I request his father to meet him once in a month......... but still i find no difference.

im unable to understand how to correct myself or get a change in him

Yes there will be some behavioural change in single mom kids and this is common too. You havent mentioned the age of your kid but by your talk i think he is entering into teenage where this problem is bit more than younger one. As you are working n dont have much time to spend with him this is one kind of communication gap for both of you.

Specialy boys are not expressive and sharing. so we have to give them more time and be a friend. this applies to small kids also nowadays they dont like to be ordered they like friends and behave likewise to him. give a start to know his attitude , observe him  keen n carefully what he likes n dislikes . then you can follow him and make him free towards you.

As a teenage boy's mom this is what i can say.

Is there any behavioural change in single mom kids. As I'm working I do get time only in weekends  - i spend time with him but I always find he prefers to be alone then being with me. Is this because he is used to being alone from morning to evening. ..............

How should I over come this........, will this lead him into any depression.

Regards,

Kavitha

Nice to know that your daughter has her grandparents to look after her... elders in the family help in teaching them values and patience, which we as parents so often run out of(... the patience bit)

So, are you from Delhi? Which part of Mumbai do you visit?

Regards

poonam

nice to see your reply. yes its my parents without whom it wouldnt have been possible that i cld raise my kid. which part of mumbai u from. i do go to mumbai for work occasionally. would be nice to talk to u sometime. life is very hectic and on top of that our lives are a  bit different  and that makes things more difficult.  do be in touch

regards

 yogi

I am from Mumbai. So, how do you manage with your daughter? family support?

do keep in touch

poonam

like yogesh said.. don't worry... all of us are going throgh the same rut. What you said is true... we share very little in common socially with other families. But eventually you will find support in your family and friends.

Which part of the country are yo tpositive. i can truly understand your plight as i have a 12 year old daughter. But i have also learnt that they cope much better than us.

Look at the positive aspect.... you are out of an abusive relationship.

regards 

poonam

dont u worry we r al in the same boat . so cheer up and live ur life . be brave its a passing phase andvthings will set ryt. whr r u from...?

I am a single mother for the past 2 years, although I was a single mother before also just that I was with my ex. It was a disaster from the beginning. I married him as he cut a sorry figure and then stuck by him because my parents refused to talk to me also. But he never fulfilled his responsibilities so I was the breadwinner of the house, faced abuse from him and his family too. Anyways, my relationship with my parents is ok now and I had the courage to finally walk out when one day he beat my daughter badly (she was 2 at that time). I have 2 kids older is 10 and younger is now 5. They dont say anything but I know that in school they face situations where they see other kids with fathers and they feel the pinch. He is not involved in theri life at all and I have no intention of finding another step dad for the kids. I just want to give them a stable life and help them settle in life. I feel like it is a lonely battle because socially we dont have anything in common with other families and they are hesitant to socialize with us. that is a big problem and I would love to find at least virtual peaceby finding groups like this.

hope u r doing good . no its okay yeh i am a single dad of a 6 yr old girl. where r u from ?. i am from delhi. thanks for writing a long message . i was encouraging to hear from ur side. yes i guess i am not a rare species. so do write in a little about yourself..... would be nice to hear from u and interact more...

regards yogesh

You are one of those unique species single DAD! sorry bad joke but sounds unrealistic. I am not cynical ... just plain curious.

this place is for all of us...why would dads be unwelcome. You guys face the same challenges, sometimes even more difficult ones on the emotional front.

how old is your kid. Thanks for the compliment... i don't see myself a brave lady... I think facing challenges just makes you believe in yours strengths... again am not trying to be humble... no one wants to be  stuck in a situation... each one of us tries our best to resolve our conflicts and situations.

i guess that was a long sermon... and that too in lieu of a simple statement :)

Take care

regards

poonam

                  actuaaly its a gud idea,but ur selection should be such that he is vry broad minded to accept u with ur kid...................gud luck

as per my prior experiences single dads are usually not entertained. till then happy parenting

How was it? 

You have not posted for couple of days.  Is everything okay at your end? I am waiting for your reply. Believe me,  this  phase will also pass, nothing remains permanently.  I know it is more easy to say  than done .........I am with you Poonam ..........

And do come to parentree whenever possible or email me whenever you feel like. 

Take care ...............bye for now,

singleparentpune

pl check you email id have posted a mail. kindly confirm if you have recd it. take care and do keep in touch :) always a pleasure hearing from you

 Whenever I surf nowadays, I wish if there is reply from you. 

I do understand when you say your child writes great poems; sometimes children are far well ; beyond our concepts. Also this situational merry-go-round makes them more sensitive and matured.

I donno how to get connceted on this site.

Is email exchange allowed on this site? Mine is singleparentgrouppune@gmail.com

I handle a trading business which is a GIFT ? ?  from my hubby. He used to handle this and when outstandings went around 10 lacs; I was asked to keep FINANCIAL DISCIPLINE. hahaha...................... However, its now 10 years I have been handling this and I make ok amount of earning out of this. Additionally I take tutions at home ( I was previously  lecturer ) and keeping expenses less is the master key to all problems. 

Things are okay if one sees from outside but I know how r things for me and my kids. Actually I stay next to my mom ; so I have her great support for children.

Looking forward to hear from you.,

tc, have a best day ahead.

singleparentpune

thanks for your good wishes and prayers. My daughter is in grde 7 and is very fond of reading and writes poems too. sometimes the depth of her poems surprises me.

i am a teacher, what about you? is it possible to connect through mail? or i will send you an invite through parentree. all the best fo your son. with such a hardworking and strong mom, am sure he would do his best.

so how do you manage with the kids?

i totally agree with you, sometimes its just important to have someone who understands and not necessarily has solutions. I am still caught in a very dual facade, i am not embarrased about my current situation but am very concerned of my child's future.

anyway, what do you enjoy doing, besides working and being a full time mom?

honestly, its really nice interacting with you . you do take care. lemme know when you are in mumbai next time. 

do take care and love to the kids

Very nice to read from you. You and your child will always be in my daily prayers hereafter. I understand  you are  a very brave lady. 

I visit Mumbai sometimes for business meets or at NSE Goregaon for exhibitions. 

My  princess,  Prajakta,  is in 4 th standard. She likes to play chess and swimming. We all three love music of all kinds, marathi, hindi, south, western , vocal and instrumental also. 

My eldor son is in 10 th. So till March, the only  topic  is  ' mission Board  Exam ' .

Do tell me about yourself. What do you do for living? What are your hobbies? And what your kiddo likes most? Let us try to  be there when we need a person, just  to listen to us ....................... not to give solution to our problems .............. but to wait with us till we overcome that emotional crest and  get along with our life; once again with new energy.   

bye, tc, gn

signleparentpune.

i totally agree with you. my daughter is 12 and we have been separated for almost 6 years. i am also a cancer survivor, so all put together it has been difficult for my kid. i was also looking for a platform where kids can interact so that our children do not feel that they are the only ones to face these kind of situations.

do let me know if you visit mumbai. i have a friend in pune, but i don't visit the city often. 

take care and thanks for the prompt reply. it  fills the heart with hope :)

I recently found  this website and group also and I thought of joining.

The main point is , children have similar probs, situations to handle with ; whomever parent they live with. 

My daughter is 9 years old. She is not attached to her father as he left home when she was one year old. Now , it is really difficult to give her that  father figure; who will care for her, who will love her for whatever she is.  As Mr. Yogesh Raj has pointed out; it is really dificult to approach any new person and talk on such emotional issues. 

Hence I always feel that a platform is needed where single parents and their children also, can talk to each other. Sometimes I also feel that relatives , brothers or sisters are not able to understand our  true problems and also emotional up downs and that loneliness which one has to face. Even after being 8 years on my own; I still feel lonely at times.

Just wanted to know ; any members from Pune here? 

bye and tc.

singleparentpune

I'm a single mother of 4.5 yr old Boy, put up in Bangalore. I find my son extremely shy while talking to other Kids or grown ups. He doesn't mingle with any kids in my apartment nor he makes friends.......

 He's very enthusiatic, energetic & talkative(only with me). But with other kids he's unable to mingle or may be doesn't know how to make friends....

Even when I help him out to mingle with other kids he's unconfortable with them & within minutes comes back home. 

In his playschool too, he mingles with only some 2-3 kids....

I want to help him out, but I don't know how??? Can anyone please suggest some tips/Ways by which I can help my son make friends..........

Thanks in advance

Raji

As for my son,he tries to be best father venever he meets him..gets him a lots of gifts or vatever he likes...takes him to fun malls..to enjoy. Bt otherwise he nvr calls up to ask if he is doing fine..Recently he even refused to help me with school admission of the child.I am very confused abt how to handle the things..I can't continue with him in d way I had been since last three years ..nor can get divorced(he is nt vlng 4 mutual consent n going thrugh blame games is nt easy). I am afraid that he vl keep on meeting my son(even if on occassions),will always try 2 b BEST FATHER in front of him.n slowly my son will drift away from me...Can anybody suggest vat shud I do???

Naturally tendency for people is to have companionship. this is since  early times when we were in jungles. human beings are social animals and we need people around us.

After marriage normally people tend to take the other partner for granted but it doesn't come out that way and people go deep and deep into depression. I am one of the same kind but i learnt lately that we need to cheris ourselves first and the world is afterall a wonderful place to be in.

We need to look for friends instead of partners. Often you can see your friends and try to do everything for him/her without prejudice which never happens in marraige.

Most of the successfull couples I have seen works on the same principle. the minute one takes other for granted or tries to control the other partner, that's the end of a friendly relationship.

Let me know what you think about it.

raj

I am single working woman in delhi...who just came 2 know bout her pregnancy ... i want this child mpre than anything in d world ...i cant marry the father of the child and he wants me to get rid of it ...infact he is all set to leave the town.

I dont know what to do ...cos going ahead with the prgnancy will mean ...complete boycott from my extended family ...nonethless i want to keep it ...i havent yet disclosed it to my mother ...n am sure its going to break her heart ....but i cant give up on my unborn

Dunno y i joined this website ...may b  for a vent ...may b i am looking for support ...for sm1 ro tell me it will b alright ...come across sm1 wd a simmilar situation

hoping a few replies ...please share your thoughts ...its like a catch 22 situation ...n i feel brain dead

I am 27 year old women from pune, a single mother to a 10 months old baby boy.

being a single mom is very difficult task in india, we have to work, earn, look after the kid, help him grow as a good human being and much more.....

i would like to know if there are any genuiene groups of single mom / single dad in pune so that we can make friends and share our expireneces and probably could live better life.

anyone who  agree with my thoughts can revert back.

only condition is the people joining the group should be genuiene ( no fake and dating profiles plz.)

Best Regards,

P.A.

regards