they hv grandparents that loved them always ... and I m certain they wish the best for them always.

Without doubt, my kids deserve to get grandparents love and vice versa.

Rubu

If the GPs are very old aged then they turn your kids into servants. Calling every time even for simple meaner jobs like give water, find the remote etc. TV is the another headache which is on for the full day.

But if they are more responsible then they can help you in giving a secured and caring environment to the kids when parents are working. 

But what type of in-laws we get is entirely on our LUCK !

if they r lovin n  interested in raising our kids if they take up d assingnment, they ve more patience than us to handle d kid...but nowadays elders also love their freedom n not so keen in taking responsibliieties to take care of kid 4 full day..so it all depends on paritcular family...there s no strait ans to Q pros-cons..

Univarsal truth : parents: pros are more ... in laws: cons are more :)

It depends on which side the scales tip. If your in-laws are supportive of your parenting decisions and respect you , it can be great to have them especially if you are a working parent. However if their ideas dont match yours or they are generally insupportive then it can create conflict in your children and lack of respect for both parties.

My own in-laws were the typical doting grandparents ready to deliver the stars to my only child till I was a stay at home daughter-in-law. When financial circumstances forced me to step out and pick up work after a decade......they literally vanished from our lives ....other than the occassional bday visits ! Its then I understood that as long as I was there at home to make their long visits comfortable they were more than eager to 'chip' in and help out .....but this 'desire' vanished as soon as I started working full time. Go figure !

thanks

What I would say is ask yourself or others in the house how much time they watch TV. I've observed that if we ourselves dont tune into the TV the children hardly do. Spend quality time with your children, read books, narrate stories, play indoor games, go for drives/picnics on weekends.

You will observe a drastic change.

Hope this helps,

Jayita

thanks for the suggetions, My son now 11 years old. He love to play outside with his frineds but even though, whenever he is at home he will be wating TV. There is no specific interested program for him, he likes to watch Jacky Chan in chutti TV if that is not there he will change the channel to some tamil movie commedies, He like to watch that everytime.

I have told and explianed him lot abt the cause and harm of the television, But still he wnt to watch, Am also working, after reaching home only i can contrl him

This is my problem

Teenagers needs to be handled very carefully. Better make an agreement with the child and give some insentives. Appreciate for right choices.

Explain to the child(no matter how young child is) benifits and problems of watching TV. Best is to tell stories about children who watch TV all the time- missing play fun or learning opportunities.  

If the child is older,make an agreement with the child about TV time (ex: 1 hour per day, favourite show of the child) and follow it. Dont break it because you are busy and you don't want child to disturb you.

If the child is too young , cut down TV time slowly and encourage child to play. Play with the child initially and slowly encourage the child for independent play (building blocks, art and craft, riding cycle etc)

My son (4 years old) watches only CBeebies channel for 1 hour per day( 1pm to 2pm). Earlier he used to watch other channels but I explained to him that he need to chose right programs. He, himself decided what he wants to see. They don't have advertisements and each program is for 15 min. He switches off after the 4th program. Sometimes he watches TV in the evening for 1/2 hour if his friends dont show up for play.

It will take minimum 1 month to set the habit right.

How to bring back child from the Habit of wating tV alwys

Nice Stationary set ( branded but not very costly)  Ex.Branded  Pen set

Good qualtiy School Bag

Apart from that ...they are very much interested in Games like video/psp games etc.....

Fiction stories

Keychains with diff images

My nephew is a 14 year old boy studying 9th standard. I want to give a birthday gift to him which is useful for his studies. Pls. suggest me in this regard

I would like to know which third language my child should opt for...French or German? As I do not know the difficulty level and scope of both, your advice will help me a lot. My son is going to study the third language till grade 8 only. His second language is hindi. My biggest concern is that nowadays schools do not pay attention on teaching, and parents only end up teaching their kids. So, taking help from books, internet and friends which is easier to teach?

thanks and regards,

keep smiling

Anyways In my experience the cons are many, the pros are few.

The pros are there is no dearth of affection to the kids from most grandparents. The cons are lack of discipline, lack of stimulation(this can be subjective, but most of the grands are too old to put effort to play or talk to the children), ignoring instructions and putting their own rules(especially in case of working mothers). This pretty much sums up everything I know.

I would like ot seek your valubale suggetions on the Pros and Cons with regard to the childeren growing with thier grand parents, we see many instances where in Grand parents play a vital role in the childs bringing up (I am talking of a joint family where all live toghther), the effects what I have noticed are extreme, would like ot hear form you as well, 

Do write in your experiences or suggestions,

I feel this is the most common factor that haunts all the parents in the world, especially when we are in this competitive world like todays.

I would suggest couple of things for you out of my personal experience,

1. We should first understasnd what the kid thinks and why is he reluctant on studies.

2. Is there any thing distracting him, like playing, environment in home or school,

3. Is he being afraid of not understanding the subject and trying to ignore the same.

4. Is he comparing himself to others and getting to a conclusion that he cannot do wht others are capable of doing.

5. Is he reluctant towards all the other things or only studies.

Once you have noticed and studied all the above said things, then you need to counsel the child and make him understand what are the disadvantages if we dont study and get up to the mark, we should site him examples from our daily life showing him or explaing him what happens if we dont study, who will take care of his parents if he doesnt stusy and become a good person,

We should also note that the changes will not come overnight, is he been so since beginning or is his behaviour is changing recently, since the boys grow they get attracted to different things, we should spend more time with them to understnd thier world.

Some parents resort to sending kinds for more tution hours thinking that any ways he is not studying at home so let us send him to tution atleast he can study there, I feel this is complete misconception, we should allow more and more home study hours, so that we make sure the child is not pretending to study.

TV is one of the most dangerous thing to beat, if the child is addicted to TV, then we have to make him undertand the drawbacks of the same, and ristrict his timings, 

Lastly as Chanakya said spare the rod and spoil the child, we should also make him understand that punishments are near if he is not being obidient towards studies.

i tried to send you link to a past discussion on similar topic with another mother, but couldnt find it :(

My sister's son is studying in 8th std. He seems to be always disturbed, happiness could be seen only when he is with his friends- how to resolve this.  any body speaking to him with regard to studies becomes the immediate enemy to him - pls advice how to resolve the same.

regards,

nikimom

There is a discussion thread which you can hop on to :

http://www.parentree.in/groupdiscussion-3755/Lets-Form--A-Friendship-Bond.html

I am a single mother with a 12-yr-old daughter and facing the usual probs sometimes ready to tear my hair out. generally, v r good friends.

I have  talked about the process of it on and usage of sanaitary napkins to my daughter. Still I am little trilled about it all. I am not sure how to react and have a missed reaction( may be axious or excited).I

I had my periods on my 12th Birthday and as we were staying in North india, my mother had called up one of our southindian aunty(mother's friend) to check up what's up with me. She had a superstition that mother should not see the girls period first. That aunty took the role as my Mami( mother's brother's wife) and did some formalites according to telugu culture. I was not told about Periods and all so it was litrally a schock for me and now I don't remember what was done. 4-5 South indian aunties did some formalitys on the 5th or 7th day and I was not allowed to go to school in those day.i was made to sit in my room and not to enter kitchen in those days.

I am not oxthadox as my mother is. I pray God at home even during my periods( though I don't light the Vellaku). My in-laws are also not so strict  and they only insist me and their daughter to eat well ( more of egg and milk in first 3 days)during the periods.My mother inlaw prepares special Ullanda(Black gram) Kali with  Jaggery and  Ginglly oil for her grand daugher( daughter's daughter) when she has periods.

Share your experiances of yours and your daughter. Any advice on do and don't on the first day of womenhood that can help me and my child is highly appriciable.Also if I can organise a small function at home. what are the formallities to be followed for the wellbeing for my child?

I still follow up and be friendly with her and guiding. In case if I find problem very severe I may consult a counseller. Please suggest the name/contact no) ofcounsellers if available with you whcih may be useful to me.

I once again thanks for your suggestions.

Mohan

My daughter is 12 years. Last few months we have noticed some changes in her behaviour, particularly showing more anger or shouting at high pitch and continue some arguments in connection with intake of food, doing some house work. 

She attained maturity last month. After a gap of few weeks when she started going to school after holidays, the same practice is being continued. her mother also find difficulty in convincing her.  

She had an elder sister doing her final graduation and sometimes fight continued with her.

What should we do now?  How to control her vibrant behaviour ? Pls sugegst some good solutions.

Mohan

i searched every where but i cant get it 

please get me a solution

regards