impotent anger

This is a sad story dated 25 years back and the saddest part is that the pain inflictter happens to be the person i trusted the most in the whole wide world----my very own father.
My father got me married to yhe boy of his choice at the age of 25years.Naturally both my husband and i were inexperienced in matters of family -planning and i got pregnant the very next month of my marraige--------much to my father`s exasperation and dissapointment at the so-very-early-pregnancy.Anyway my marraige moved ahead with dominating moter-and-sister-in-laws and a husband who always took side with his mother and sister.I wanted a separate home and identity without his mother and sister interfering which i got when i decided to put my son in a creche since i was working. But my mother-in-law then made it a point to visit our house evryday after i came back from office in ihe evening and relax with the t.v. and of course keep interfereing.Things came to such a boil that i decided to go in for a divorce. My husband deposited me and my son at my father`s house ( which was in a-far-of - city)
and i thought my father would understand my problems and support my divorce plans.
But to my shock and surprise , my father felt that in a male dominated society ( he himself takes pride in being a dominating male) it is the female i.e. me who should have been the submissive and the doormat and the fault was with me and not them. He was also afraid that they may not return my jewellery-------inspite of my reminding him that 'streedhan' is my right. He also called up the conservative elders of our family to force me back to the same hell. Unable to bear his traunts anymore i went back to my husband. My father spent my accumulated savings and flew me back on an emergency footing. I felt i had nobody in the world to call my own. The creche and having to handle everything by myself left me exhausted I refused to write letters to my parents or keep in contact with The blow was too severe for me.
3 years later when my father retired and the land-lady wanted to oust them out of their house the decided to come down to me along with my handicapped sister
and be looked after by me which i am still continuing on till now. Itake pride in looking after my handicapped sister and in the best possible manner till her death 5years back. Now i have given my parents a separate house to live , close to my house and take care of all their needs.
But my father still feels he was right in sending me back to my husband 25 years back--------there was nothing that he could have done he said at that time and now also and now my mother also falls in line with him
Since then i keep remembering that situation and feel deep pain and sick.Did i take the right decision in putting my son into a creche Inspite of visiting a psychiatrist
Ihave not yet been releived of my deep pain .PLEASE HELP!!!